(posted today on my Working Mother magazine’s “Walking Zombie” blog)
Last year while on vacation I repeatedly told myself a big fat lie- At an amazing adventure camp for both kids and parents, I had the opportunity to learn the flying trapeze, to water ski, tube, and more. While I did indulge some, on many occasions I simply opted out. To be honest, I don’t even know why…it was just easier to say, “No thank you, I’m good,” and encourage my kids to participate.
But the truth is, each time Dave or the kids did something really cool like swing from the trapeze, I thought to myself how amazing it would be to give it a try. Yet time after time I just sat and watched. Looking back, I now realize that much of my resistance was a combination of fear of the unknown, the inability to get outside my comfort zone and pure laziness. It just took too much effort. Each time, after I passed, I would get this terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to dive in and have crazy fun, I did! It was just easier to watch everyone else have it.
We want back to Callaway Gardens again this year. I’m quite certain this is now going to be an annual family tradition. I made a mental decision that this time; I was not going to sit it out. I was going to step out of my comfort zone, face my fears and do all the things I refused to do last year. I also had this gut feeling that my daughter Paris, who is ten, was watching every decision I made. As her mother and mentor, if I wasn’t going to do it for myself, I was going to do it for her.
In the course of one week, I raced Dave on a crazy water obstacle course called aqua island and laughed so hard I almost passed out, water skied, tubed, climbed an 80 foot tree that scared the life out of me and zip lined over a beautiful lake, biked for hours on end, studied garden ideas at an edible garden, learned how to do a backflip on a flying trapeze, caught lightening bugs, and sat alone in an old chapel along a wooded path and pondered my life.
Who do you think had more fun? The stuffy woman who chose to sit it out or the adventurous girl who chose to dive in? The only difference between last year and this year was my mindset. Last year I had no intention, I was just there, on vacation with my family. This year I set out with the intention to have a blast and to do everything that scared and got me out of my comfort zone. This by far was one of the best vacations of my life. While I’ve been to France, Spain, Germany, the BVI and more…this little place in the Georgia mountains stole my heart because it called to the girl in me and beckoned me to play. I am so glad I said yes! I still can’t believe the impact it had on my life.
When is the last time you did something daring, adventurous, and crazy fun? What inhibitions are holding you back from letting the girl inside you come out to play? Whether at work, home or while on vacation, I challenge you to set your intention in regards to how you want to be, what you wish to feel and the experiences you desire to have and then set about creating them. Like me, you may just find it changes your life.
Written by Traci Bild, work-life balance expert and Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement. Follow us on Facebook (Get Your Girl Back movement) for more inspiration and ideas to live a life of adventure, fun and sheer bliss! To download the first chapter of Traci’s forthcoming book, Get Your Girl Back, visit http://gygb.com/the-book/.
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6 replies on “The Truth Hurts- Excuses I Made, Opportunities I Missed”
I feel embarrassed to say this,but I am 47 years old and looking back just 10 years ago how I truly changed. People tell me how I am not the person I use to be. I want that back, but when I make the littlest change for the good I go back 10 steps cause it’s like I have a fear if I am happy someone or something will take it away.
Monica, this is not true- I used to feel if I reached mega success I would lose what mattered most. My children or husband. Then I realized that it was a big fat lie and keeping me from my purpose. I started to focus on what I wanted, not what I was afraid of. It took time but I soon realized that I had the power and the bully was fear. Change your thoughts, slowly and change your life. There is enough abundance for everyone. Post images on your mirror that inspire you, create a dream journal. You can do it! Traci
Just wandered onto your blog! Gallaway Gardens! A flood of childhood memories just came back…from 40 years ago. One of our only family vacations and I remember it like it was yesterday. I cannot believe it is still there. Your writing is inspiring me to get back to the fun girl who did the trapeze and LOVED it 40 years ago! thanks!
I love this! Just saw it and when I did the trapeze, after being too afraid the first year, it was incredible. Try to do something fun every day. That’s my goal- out of the box, not my norm- but something fun!!!! Loved hearing from you! Traci
I’ve read two of your blogs this morning, after being sent one from my aunt/more like sister with some inspiration, and I feel like I’m reading things that the girl inside me wants to say but can’t find the words. Thank you. It’s scary and comforting at the same time to know that someone else out there knows and feels the exact same things that are happening in the life of this 40 something mother of two on the brink of being alone with her husband of 22 years for the first time in 21 years. Thank you. I am looking forward to what you have to say next. No pressure. LOL. Again, I can’t say it enough. Thank you.
I call women like us, women stuck in the midst of life. Careers, married for some time, kids are older….women lose their passion, not sure always of their place. So many women that are just like you so know you are not alone. I would fight to start building that emotional connection with your husband since it will be you and he very soon. Make it a point to do some fun out of the box things together…laugh, get outside…no dinner and a movie. Change it up but start dating him again. Have fun and focus your mind on what it is you want for the next stage of your life. Traci