The Truth Hurts- Excuses I Made, Opportunities I Missed

(posted today on my Working Mother magazine’s “Walking Zombie” blog)

10393979_10152205395683111_2628195971168795713_n

Last year while on vacation I repeatedly told myself a big fat lie- At an amazing adventure camp for both kids and parents, I had the opportunity to learn the flying trapeze, to water ski, tube, and more. While I did indulge some, on many occasions I simply opted out. To be honest, I don’t even know why…it was just easier to say, “No thank you, I’m good,” and encourage my kids to participate.

But the truth is, each time Dave or the kids did something really cool like swing from the trapeze, I thought to myself how amazing it would be to give it a try. Yet time after time I just sat and watched.  Looking back, I now realize that much of my resistance was a combination of fear of the unknown, the inability to get outside my comfort zone and pure laziness. It just took too much effort. Each time, after I passed, I would get this terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to dive in and have crazy fun, I did! It was just easier to watch everyone else have it.

We want back to Callaway Gardens again this year. I’m quite certain this is now going to be an annual family tradition. I made a mental decision that this time; I was not going to sit it out. I was going to step out of my comfort zone, face my fears and do all the things I refused to do last year. I also had this gut feeling that my daughter Paris, who is ten, was watching every decision I made. As her mother and mentor, if I wasn’t going to do it for myself, I was going to do it for her.

In the course of one week, I raced Dave on a crazy water obstacle course called aqua island and laughed so hard I almost passed out, water skied, tubed, climbed an 80 foot tree that scared the life out of me and zip lined over a beautiful lake, biked for hours on end, studied garden ideas at an edible garden, learned how to do a backflip on a flying trapeze, caught lightening bugs, and sat alone in an old chapel along a wooded path and pondered my life.

Who do you think had more fun? The stuffy woman who chose to sit it out or the adventurous girl who chose to dive in? The only difference between last year and this year was my mindset. Last year I had no intention, I was just there, on vacation with my family. This year I set out with the intention to have a blast and to do everything that scared and got me out of my comfort zone. This by far was one of the best vacations of my life. While I’ve been to France, Spain, Germany, the BVI and more…this little place in the Georgia mountains stole my heart because it called to the girl in me and beckoned me to play. I am so glad I said yes! I still can’t believe the impact it had on my life.

When is the last time you did something daring, adventurous, and crazy fun? What inhibitions are holding you back from letting the girl inside you come out to play? Whether at work, home or while on vacation, I challenge you to set your intention in regards to how you want to be, what you wish to feel and the experiences you desire to have and then set about creating them. Like me, you may just find it changes your life.

Written by Traci Bild, work-life balance expert and Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement. Follow us on Facebook (Get Your Girl Back movement) for more inspiration and ideas to live a life of adventure, fun and sheer bliss! To download the first chapter of Traci’s forthcoming book, Get Your Girl Back, visit  http://gygb.com/the-book/.

FB: Get Your Girl Back movement ∙ Instagram: Get Your Girl Back Movement ∙ Twitter: @TraciBild ∙ Pinterest Get Your Girl Back

Fear Stole My Confidence Today & I Lost Out

(from my Walking Zombie blog on WorkingMother.com)

Yesterday my family went zip lining at Calloway Gardens in the Georgia Mountains. We strapped on our gear, headed into the trees and zealously moved from one obstacle to the other. Two hours in we were still going strong until I realized we were close to the end of the main zip line course and about to enter the Lake course. Out of nowhere I started to sweat really bad- my hands were slipping from the lines, my t-shirt sticking to my chest and my heart beating faster and faster. Having done this very same course last year, I knew what was coming…the tree. As hard as I tried I couldn’t shake this horrible fear.

The lake course has three exhilarating zip lines. That- I wanted to do! But to get to the second one you must climb an eighty foot tree via a wooden rope ladder. Last year it took everything in my being to get up that ladder. This year, I knew what was coming. I had done it before but this was the first time our whole family was zip lining this course together and Noah’s first time at all! Dave was leading from the front and I was following up from the back. This had worked all day until we got closer and closer to the tree.

Ending the main course we walked over to the Lake. Shaking, I climbed up the first ladder, telling myself, “I can do this, I can do this!” but the reality is I had already talked myself out of it- I was terrified. How was I going to watch my two children climb an eighty foot ladder, step onto a platform high into the tree tops (and the size of my kitchen mat), and not pass out? Standing at the top of a smaller platform, I stared at the tree…taking it in, I told myself, “You’ve done this before, it’s no big deal, just climb the ladder, step onto the platform and zip over the lake!”

Then I looked down to see an employee and suddenly, I had my out! “Can I pay you to please follow my kids? I won’t let them go without someone behind them and honestly I don’t want to do it!” He offered to go, no charge and I was out- free from the torture of climbing the ladder up the tree. Someone would head up the front and back, ensuring my kids were safe but it wouldn’t be me. I was so relieved I wanted to cry. He went up and I went down…my family continued on.

I sat on a bench and watched from afar. As I saw my eight and ten year old children climb the tree I realized I had failed them. I let fear, false evidence appearing real, steal my confidence and in turn my joy. My fear would keep me from the feeling of accomplishment and adrenaline my family would feel- instead, I would be defeated. The truth is, I had done this before, had fun, and challenged myself in a huge way. The only thing different this year is I let fear get the best of me.

tree photo

How many times have you let fear get the best of you? Perhaps you had the opportunity to take a promotion and out of fear, declined and missed the opportunity of a lifetime. Maybe you were offered a job oversees but declined due to your fear of the unknown or you wanted to launch a new business but changed your mind for fear of failure. Fear is very real and as I learned yesterday, it can steal your girl in a nanosecond. That girl who stops at nothing to get what she wants, who is bold, confident and full of hope. Looking back on my experience I realize that yesterday, fear won. The next time we battle, I will win. What about you?

Life or Vacation, Which Do You Prefer? 1 Compelling Reason to Find Your Passion!

paris and I

Today’s blog focus in on THINKING! After all, we are what we think we are. As I was packing up to leave Breckenridge after a fun week of skiing with my kids, what kept running through my mind is, “I’m so glad my life is more exciting than my vacation!” Odd right? – But it’s true, while I love to go on vacation, I always love coming back home and getting into the routine of work, family, and play. If you don’t feel the same, perhaps it’s time for a reinvention? Here are a few questions to ask yourself right now:

  • Am I passionate about my marriage or relationship; is it fun, exciting and am I enjoying the journey I’m sharing with my partner?
  • Am I passionate about being a mom (or auntie)? Do I look forward to the morning or dread the daily grind? Do I see those sporting events as a chance for my kids to grow, learn and play or as a job I must do and that wears me down? Is homework crushing, does the grind never end?
  • Am I passionate about my job or career or do I dream of retiring or finding something else that utilizes my gifts or talents?
  • Am I passionate about my life or am I just getting through it?

I have chosen the work passion on purpose. Life is what you make it and in the whole scheme of thing it’s so short- think how fast it’s gone so far! Living with passion ensures that you are living in the moment, with gratitude and are fully present. How you think about your day, week or month and the many events that make that time up, is your choice. It’s amazing what the power of thought and focus, THINKING differently can do for your life. Here is how you can think differently, starting today!

  • Typical thought: I just wish my husband would help with the house and the kids, I’m exhausted, he doesn’t understand!
    • Change to: My husband is my partner and all I need to do is ask for help and let him help. He may not do it like me but I appreciate any and all help offered! I’m so grateful for my partner.
    • Typical thought: I’m a cab driver, I’ve been here at the gym four days so far this week, I’m so tired of being here.
      • Change to: It’s my choice to be here with my daughter (or son), giving her this incredible opportunity. Then decide- what can you do with that time that you enjoy? Maybe bring your scrapbook on those days and get caught up, journal, get ahead on work by bringing your laptop, etc. Use that time for something productive and remember that this is a choice you have made. If it’s too much, don’t do it. If you’re going to do it, do it with joy.
      • Typical thought: I dread going to work today, no one appreciates me, it’s boring, but I have to go to feed my family.
        • Change to: I’m grateful for this job and the resources it provides. However, I am open and receptive to the ideas and thoughts that will lead me to my dream job that leverages my talents and abilities. I am being drawn to what I was born to do!

As you put focus on your thoughts, they will begin to change to what you want, can do and have in your life. Amazing tools, resources, and people will begin to show up and it will freak you out! That my friend is called the Law of Attraction and it is real. So- pay attention to what’s on your mind. Use that great tool you have, it’s absolutely free and you can use it whenever you wish and each time you do so it will only work harder and harder for you!

If you’re reading this post through the daily email and want to become an Ambassador for Get Your Girl Back, where I’ll ask for help from you from time to time, email me at Traci@GYGB.com and I’ll share what we are up to. If you’d like to get the daily blog post by email, sign up at http://gygb.com/category/blog/ and see what we’re working on how it can help you!

Written by Traci Bild, Author Entrepreneur 

What I Learned From Frontier Airlines- An Angry Mom Speaks Out

frontier

What I learned from Frontier airlines is that everything my mother taught me about manners, as a child growing up, was spot on.  Let’s start with the golden rule: Treat others as you would expect them to treat you.

Here is what I learned today: Frontier is a service business- I was blown away that they would violate the golden rule over and over in my experience with them today. Trust me; I will share in detail what occurred.  All I could think as I traveled was, “Has service in the airline sector gotten so horrible that they simply don’t give a crap?” Jokes used to be made about used car salesmen. In my opinion, they are now the heroes; they help people get into cars with no credit and little money. Airlines, they’ve become worse than any used car salesman I’ve ever met and to me that’s tragic.

From Fun to Run!

So here’s what happened. We woke up this morning excited; our family was heading out to Breckenridge for our annual family ski trip. Keep in mind that I’ve traveled for over twenty years as a professional speaker and my husband is an airline Captain for AirTran, soon to be Southwest. My kids have traveled to Paris several times as well as throughout the great USA. We are traveled people so we know the highs and lows of airline travel. Yet today broke my spirit. It took everything in me not to cry in front of my kids. What’s worse is that I wasn’t mad, I was disappointed. So much that it tore at my heart. Can’t we do better than this?

  1. Don’t You Have an Extra Couple Hundred Dollars? Our flight was scheduled to leave at 9:50 am per our itinerary that we checked ten times. I attempted to check in online the night prior and the first upset came when I saw that I wasn’t just going to pay $25-$30 per checked in bag but also $25-$30 per CARRY ON Bag (unless a briefcase type). I’m thinking, okay, I’ve got Paris and Noah’s two carryon bags with their beloved stuffed animals, which travel all over the world with us. Hmmm…don’t think I can check them so that’s $100 and then my bag is another $30. So we are looking at $130 EACH way simply for carry ons (unless I check the animals and risk losing their most treasured possessions to include baby blankies). I also had two large bags with all our ski clothes so that is another $50-$60 and ONLY if I pay for everything the night before. If I dare wait because I’m totally perplexed on the carryon bag charge, then I will be charged up to $50 PER BAG FOR BOTH CARRY ON AND CHECKED. Hmmm.  Now I’m looking at a possible $250 for bags EACH WAY for a total of $500 for my wonderful luggage because the fact is, I will need to change my clothes at some point. Really? Just put the real price of the ticket instead of TRICKING us into a ticket and then killing us with extras. All I could think of were the people who would be stuck at the airport, not knowing about all these fees, and trying to figure out how to pay for it. I’m fortunate enough that while I can afford it, its plain wrong and deceiving.
  2. Read the fine print: Apparently if you buy your ticket on the Frontier website or some other odd place you avoid all these fees (does anyone buy tickets direct from airline websites?).
  3. Sorry! Oh, forgot to mention that after all this upset, trying to figure out fees, and putting in my credit card twice, I was told they could not check me in online and that I had to go to the airport desk.
  4. Change of Plans! Didn’t You Get the Memo? As we leisurely headed to the airport with time to spare, and a grand plan to get something to eat, we get to the gate and are told we are going to MISS OUR FLIGHT! What? Oh, they forgot to tell us that the flight was moved up from 9:50 to 9:15, didn’t I get the telepathic memo? No worries, I can do this! I’ve got global entry and we can zip right to the front of the security line, or so we think. Wrong! It’s airline travel, right?
  5. Bummer! We pay our $130+ dollars (no time to look) for checked and carryon bags, run to security and am told that I can’t use the global entry, not on the boarding pass even though, I’m holding the prized card in my hand. Remain calm…
  6. Ha! Just Kidding! We get through security, run to the gate, and as we get to the door are told we HAVE TO CHECK OUR BAGS! What? Didn’t I just pay $100 (I confirmed that there was indeed space and assured there would be room)?  Sorry! My kids start to cry, although silently, and I do too but just inside because I’m mom right, need to strong in this moment (and I’ll use my pen later to get it out as I’m doing now!). The kids grab their favorite animal and I promise nothing will happen to their dear friends in the belly of the plane, they are safe (not so sure the way this is going, there could be a gremlin down there).  By the way, I had the gate agent come back in and give me her name as I asked for a refund on the bags but imagine that won’t happen without some hard follow up work with long wait times. Trust me; I’m following up on that supposed “credit.”
  7. Hungry? Got Credit? As we sit down, I realize I have two kids and I included who have not eaten; we have no water and a four hour flight. I look and “Yeah!” they have items but for a price. Isn’t it basic courteously to offer your guest a drink? Not on Frontier! You can have a drink but for a price! Again, just rude. No problem- I whip out my Am X platinum that I’m burning up today anyway and pay $14.99, to be exact, for food and drinks.  
  8. Yeah, we are on the flight, have food and drink, and guess what, there are even televisions, which as a parent is a Godsend on a plane. Could it be free, like on Jet Blue? Of course not, it’s yours for $5.99 EACH.

Did I really need to get my bags on the plane, have something to drink, food to eat, and entertainment for this trip to Colorado? No, it’s not a human need, it’s a want. Yet in a service industry, I expect more. I expect an honest business transaction. Give me the real price for my ticket when I buy it, don’t trick me into buying “the lowest fare” and then kill me with extreme fees that would literally break the bank for many families as they head off on a much needed vacation. Its plain wrong.

I do fly AirTran and Southwest often and am grateful my husband flies for them and not Frontier. AirTran’s business class rocks and Southwest always makes me laugh. There is still hope yet but may this be a warning to them NOT to follow in the footsteps of airlines like Frontier. People like me will stand up, shout from the rooftops and make sure that people are aware of the misleading purchase of tickets. So let this be your warning. If you buy Frontier, read the fine print and make sure you buy the ticket on their website or be prepared to spend your vacation money on airline fees.

So thanks mom for teaching me to know when a wrong is being done and to stand up for myself and others. I listened, learned and hope that others will benefit from this information in this blog!

If you’re reading this post through the daily email and want to become an Ambassador for Get Your Girl Back, where I’ll ask for help from you from time to time, email me at Traci@GYGB.com and I’ll share what we are up to. If you’d like to get the daily blog post by email, sign up at http://gygb.com/category/blog/ and see what we’re working on how it can help you!

Written by Traci Bild, Author and Founder of, the Get Your Girl Back

<a href=”http://www.hypersmash.com”>Hypersmash.com</a>