Time for You

Written by Guest Contributor Jennifer Ruyle.

With everything going on in our lives it’s so darn easy to overlook carving out time for ourselves, even just for a few hours. Blah Blah Blah. Not quite ladies.  From the moment I had my twins, now eight years old, I made a pact with my husband. One night during the week I would get my own night, and one night a week he would get his own night. Before you start objecting and saying…”well my husband couldn’t handle dinner or the kids need me to do this or that at bedtime or I worked all day won’t get to tuck in little Johnny”…here’s a thought – it’s ONE night.  No one will starve, no one will combust, no one will hate you.  So here’s how it goes.  Tuesdays are my night starting at 6pm when my husband arrives home, grumpy or not. I either go to a yoga class, grab some friends and get dinner, shop a bookstore or sit in my car listening to old 70s tunes. I return about 9pm – definitely after the kids are in their slumber. In turn, my husband chooses his night to go play softball in his very competitive over 40 league.

The key is this ONE night doesn’t negate a date night – which I do know realistically can’t always happen every week. But, unless there is a recital or major illness, my hubby and I have stuck to our ONE night for the past 8 years.  And I believe we are all happier for it.  It’s easy to make excuses, but if you and your husband can’t make this happen, then it’s going to be a long road ahead.  It’s a win-win for both of you so no one should be complaining. It’s a positive change you can make right now. The house may be a mess when you get home, and dinner may not be gourmet those two nights, but who cares.

Common obstacles:

Kids: “You’re going to yoga again this week…”         

YOU: “Yes, the more fit I am, the longer I will live for you.”

Kids: “Don’t leave Mommy, Daddy makes us eat weird food.”      

YOU:  “Mommy needs playdates, too right?”

Husband:  “So what should we do after dinner…”                      

YOU:  “You’re smart. You’ll figure it out. Have fun.”

Husband:  Sheer look of terror as you grab your keys to go.           

YOU:  Ignore or plant a very long kiss on his face. Then give a sultry goodbye.

And if you or your husband can’t think of anything to do on your ONE night, just ask for ideas by posting a comment to the blog post…I have trillions of ideas of how you can spend 2-3 hours enriching your life, YOUR LIFE, too.

If you’re reading this post through the daily email and want to become an Ambassador for Get Your Girl Back, where I’ll ask for help from you from time to time, email me at Traci@GYGB.com and I’ll share what we are up to (we are starting a free 10 week class for our Ambassadors on January 7th so if you have not signed up yet, now is the time). If you’d like to get the daily blog post by email, sign up at https://gygb.com/category/blog/ and see what we’re working on how it can help you!

 <a href=”http://www.hypersmash.com”>Hyper Smash</a>


I've always loved to play dress up!

I’ve always loved to play dress up!

It’s Friday and in my effort to keep my girl, I’m sailing off to Tampa tomorrow to become a wench pirate for the weekend as Dave and I dive into the fun of Gasparilla.  We have done this event for close to a decade and it’s one of my favorite weekends of the year. We will get on our boat Endurance in the morning and head off to Tampa from Clearwater, which takes about four hours. During the trip I will read, day dream, sleep, glimpse dolphins, take in Dave as he captains away, and smell the sea salt as it drifts through the air.

We will dock up behind the Marriott for a weekend of fun. To gain passage onto our boat you must be in full pirate dress and ready to enter another place and time. We will spend all day Saturday on deck entertaining pirates, throwing beads, eating, talking, laughing, dancing and having plain old fashioned FUN! My girl loves this event! As long as I can remember I have loved to get dressed up and pretend I’m someone else- Check out my picture from last year, ha!

A World That Never Stops

In a world that never stops…where there is so much to do that at times we forget to breathe, you must make time for fun. If your weekends are packed with non-stop activities, and it’s not really like a weekend, then consider making a change. You must find time to relax, decompress and just be. If you don’t have downtime, you will forget to laugh, cry, play, and be a girl. You cannot just do, do and do. So ask yourself right now, “When was the last time you simply had fun? When did you last do nothing? If you had a day or two free, what would YOU do with it?”

A big reason women lose their girl is because the woman buries her in responsibility! Every hour on the family calendar is crammed with something to do, some place to go…a sporting event, tutoring session, lesson of some sort, it never ends. Did you have a calendar like this as a child? Stop to think…your mother might have worked all day while you were in school but she could come HOME after work, relax a little bit with the family, watch some television, tend to a hobby, and eat dinner with the family. Moms today don’t have the luxury. They are at work all day and at kid type events all night only to run home, have an hour to clean up, do some laundry, and drop into bed and hit REPLAY all over again six to eight hours later! This is no way to live and you will not be able to sustain it forever. The price is too high: Anxiety, exhaustion, frustration, depression, anger, lack of connection with your partner, and more.

So just for today, FRIDAY and maybe even for tomorrow, SATURDAY, cut yourself some slack. Relax, have some downtime and DO NOT feel guilty. Give yourself the gift of free time, connection, laughter, joy and freedom. Come Monday, ponder if just perhaps you can reconsider your schedule, take control and modify it a bit to allow time to LIVE.

If you’re reading this post through the daily email and want to become an Ambassador for Get Your Girl Back, where I’ll ask for help from you from time to time, email me at Traci@GYGB.com and I’ll share what we are up to. If you’d like to get the daily blog post by email, sign up at https://gygb.com/category/blog/ and see what we’re working on how it can help you!

 

Written by Traci Bild, Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement

<a href=”http://www.hypersmash.com”>HyperSmash.com</a>

 

 

 


TODAY’S FOCUS IS: MANAGE

3 generations of women

When you were in fourth grade, that special year that research shows girls have the most self-confidence, what did you think you would do when you grew up? Come on; think back, do you remember? My daughter Paris is in fifth grade and her thoughts might spark memories. Here are a few of her possibilities; “I want to be a mom, take over mommies companies Get Your Girl Back and Bild & Company, be a school teacher, or maybe a gymnastics teacher…” anything ring a bell? If not, ask your daughter or niece this very important question, “What do you think you will do when you grow up?”

Two Full Time Jobs

I imagine that the answer, “I will work two full time jobs” never got onto that list and the very thought of your daughter or niece doing that terrifies you. Yet the fact is, that is what most women are doing. They start at the crack of dawn, getting kids ready for school, only to head off to a day job that ends at 4 or 5, then head back home for the most important job of all, parenting and wife- the managing of a beautiful family to include cooking, cleaning, tutoring, carpooling, sporting events, laundry, grocery shopping, and more. Normally that job ends around 9 pm when everyone is safely tucked into bed and the last dishes are put away, loose shoes put in the shoe basket, and back packs set by the door. While you may love your life and wouldn’t trade it for anything, the question to ask is “How do you manage it all without losing track of yourself?”

The Generational Divide

Odds are your grandmother didn’t work and if she did boy was she a trailblazer! In most cases, her full time job was the raising of her family and managing of her home. Her daughter, quite possibly your mother, was raised to be like her mom, to be a homemaker. Yet something happened- people started to get divorced and if your mom is anything like mine, these women were unprepared. With little job training or college behind them, they were forced to enter the workforce, work two to three jobs to survive, and in many cases, even marry- not for love but to put a roof over their children’s heads. Life for many of our mothers was not was they expected.

Then there are the women of my generation, those who watched from the side as our mothers struggled to survive, find work, and make a place for themselves in the world.  We became determined- we would not rely on anyone to take care of us, we would work, and provide for ourselves. So off to college we went! Fast forward to today- Women are unprepared- and rightly so! In the span of three generations, women went from one job to two; yet extra hours were not added to the day, we simply have had to learn how to manage it all and the one thing that regularly falls off the list is YOU.

As women who both work at home and outside the home, putting in sixteen hour days, it’s more important than ever to focus on systems that will help you better manage your life.  This is what Get Your Girl Back is all about. Reading these daily blogs will serve as a guide to help you on this wonderful journey called life! My goal today is to help you understand why at times, you might feel like you are going to go crazy and to know that you are not alone. My mom recently got me a sign that reads, “Some call it chaos, we call it family.” I love this sign and so enjoy the chaos- yet in that chaos is order, fun, adventure, and pure bliss. I want to help you learn how to keep all the good, yummy parts of your life and repair those that are broken and not-so good right now. Odds are there is more good than bad so with a little focus you can reignite your passion and create a life by design, not circumstance.

So ponder today’s message, take it in. Then, commit to learn, grow and implement new ideas into your life and if you have a daughter, teach her what you learn so she understands how to keep her girl, front and center- then there will never be a need to get her back!

Written by Traci Bild, Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement

<a href=”http://www.hypersmash.com”>Hypersmash.com</a>

 

 

 


paris and I

Today’s blog focus in on THINKING! After all, we are what we think we are. As I was packing up to leave Breckenridge after a fun week of skiing with my kids, what kept running through my mind is, “I’m so glad my life is more exciting than my vacation!” Odd right? – But it’s true, while I love to go on vacation, I always love coming back home and getting into the routine of work, family, and play. If you don’t feel the same, perhaps it’s time for a reinvention? Here are a few questions to ask yourself right now:

  • Am I passionate about my marriage or relationship; is it fun, exciting and am I enjoying the journey I’m sharing with my partner?
  • Am I passionate about being a mom (or auntie)? Do I look forward to the morning or dread the daily grind? Do I see those sporting events as a chance for my kids to grow, learn and play or as a job I must do and that wears me down? Is homework crushing, does the grind never end?
  • Am I passionate about my job or career or do I dream of retiring or finding something else that utilizes my gifts or talents?
  • Am I passionate about my life or am I just getting through it?

I have chosen the work passion on purpose. Life is what you make it and in the whole scheme of thing it’s so short- think how fast it’s gone so far! Living with passion ensures that you are living in the moment, with gratitude and are fully present. How you think about your day, week or month and the many events that make that time up, is your choice. It’s amazing what the power of thought and focus, THINKING differently can do for your life. Here is how you can think differently, starting today!

  • Typical thought: I just wish my husband would help with the house and the kids, I’m exhausted, he doesn’t understand!
    • Change to: My husband is my partner and all I need to do is ask for help and let him help. He may not do it like me but I appreciate any and all help offered! I’m so grateful for my partner.
    • Typical thought: I’m a cab driver, I’ve been here at the gym four days so far this week, I’m so tired of being here.
      • Change to: It’s my choice to be here with my daughter (or son), giving her this incredible opportunity. Then decide- what can you do with that time that you enjoy? Maybe bring your scrapbook on those days and get caught up, journal, get ahead on work by bringing your laptop, etc. Use that time for something productive and remember that this is a choice you have made. If it’s too much, don’t do it. If you’re going to do it, do it with joy.
      • Typical thought: I dread going to work today, no one appreciates me, it’s boring, but I have to go to feed my family.
        • Change to: I’m grateful for this job and the resources it provides. However, I am open and receptive to the ideas and thoughts that will lead me to my dream job that leverages my talents and abilities. I am being drawn to what I was born to do!

As you put focus on your thoughts, they will begin to change to what you want, can do and have in your life. Amazing tools, resources, and people will begin to show up and it will freak you out! That my friend is called the Law of Attraction and it is real. So- pay attention to what’s on your mind. Use that great tool you have, it’s absolutely free and you can use it whenever you wish and each time you do so it will only work harder and harder for you!

If you’re reading this post through the daily email and want to become an Ambassador for Get Your Girl Back, where I’ll ask for help from you from time to time, email me at Traci@GYGB.com and I’ll share what we are up to. If you’d like to get the daily blog post by email, sign up at https://gygb.com/category/blog/ and see what we’re working on how it can help you!

Written by Traci Bild, Author Entrepreneur 


breck

Take a look at this image as I bring you back in time with me, oh about three years ago. It was here, in Breckenridge, Colorado, that I was walking up and down the quaint city streets in tears. While I was supposed to be skiing, I had taken the day off to write. Instead, I found myself wondering, frustrated, confused and on the phone with my best friend from grade school begging her to help me find clarity. I felt like a mad woman and no matter what I did I couldn’t shut my mind off. I needed an answer and no matter how far I walked, or long I talked, thought or cried, I wasn’t ready to receive it- not yet.

Looking back, as I again walk the streets of Breckenridge, I am in a totally different place. I got my answer, and in turn clarity, purpose, and peace of mind. So what was the question you ask? While it might sound trite, what I needed was the title of my movement and book. I had been writing for close to a decade yet the title eluded me. As a writer, it’s like the bow that goes on top of the package and without it I literally felt lost.

It took another two years but that answer came in the form of Get Your Girl Back. I was on the phone with my amazing writing coach Lisa Tener when she said, “What about Get Your Girl Back?” As soon as I heard it, I knew- that was the perfect title to describe my movement and book. Why did it take so long? Why did it have to be so painful? Yet the fact was, I got my answer, it came when it was supposed to and not a moment before.

While I may make things look easy today, trust me, it’s not. Birthing a dream can literally feel like labor! Consider the fact that I started writing Get Your Girl Back when I was pregnant with Paris. Now she is ten! I tucked the book away and stopped writing for years only to be nudged to pull it back out. One time I literally threw it away and said, “I can’t do this!” until a life coach of mine, Sue Youngs said, “Traci, are you willing to miss your destiny simply because you are afraid to be vulnerable?” I knew in that moment that no matter how hard it was to share the private moments of my life, my personal stories and failures to help others; that I had to pursue my destiny- and NO I was not willing to miss it!

Then came the branding and rebranding, three website redesigns, and regular investments in something that wasn’t even viable or real yet. Of course I would question myself, “What am I doing?” Yet with each fear, insecurity and moment of doubt, I reminded myself of my purpose, passion and ability to do anything I set my mind to. No matter what, I was going to give until there was nothing left to give.

So here I am. I pushed through. While I’m nowhere near the finish line, I successfully launched the Get Your Girl Back movement just six months ago. The movement is on fire, women are engaged, sharing the movement with their friends, sisters, and mothers; all who want to reignite their passion- whether it be for their marriage, health, career, spiritual health, hobby, children, charity or something entirely different- they are revisiting those passions and thinking about how to rekindle them.

Next up? Get ready for a series of life class opportunities where I will show you how to reignite your passion step by step (and it will be for free because I want to help make a difference in your life). We have fun dream journals and other exciting things in store for you! So hang on and take a look at your own dream with fresh eyes. If it were easy, everyone would do it! You have to fight for your dream, and never, ever give up on them! Use my story as an example to follow in your own life. It’s not easy; you will fail, cry, give up and then start over again and again. Yet when the dream begins to manifest, the taste of victory will be worth every moment of energy you gave to birth your dream. So welcome the chaos, its proof that you indeed are alive!

If you’re reading this post through the daily email and want to become an Ambassador for Get Your Girl Back, where I’ll ask for help from you from time to time, email me at Traci@GYGB.com and I’ll share what we are up to. If you’d like to get the daily blog post by email, sign up at https://gygb.com/category/blog/ and see what we’re working on how it can help you!

Written by Traci Bild, Author and Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement

<a href=”http://www.hypersmash.com”>www.HyperSmash.com</a>


mindset shift

Odds are there is something that is taking up most of your thought space. For one dear mentor, it’s preparing herself for the passing of her mother. How do you actually do that?

For a mother I know, it’s which school to pick for her daughter, who is entering middle school. Does she go to the new engineering magnet or the fundamental where her friends are going? And another, I’ve known most of my life; it’s whether to end a marriage that was supposed to stand the test of time. Does she stay and fight or does she begin a fresh start? Worse yet, there are children involved, a business, and lots of promises. What does she do, how does she decide, and what if she makes the wrong move?

DECIDE HOW YOU’RE GOING TO RESPOND

As you work to get your girl back, which really is about the state of mind you live from on a daily basis, consider the issue you are dealing with today. Big or little, there is no greater asset to help you transition through difficult times than your mind. Here are 3 steps that can help you right now:

1. Decide How You Want to Feel: I once had a coach, Sue Youngs, who I adore and who would say at the beginning of each call, “Decide who you want to be in the matter.” At first I would think, “What does she mean?” Yet after years of working with her and ending each call with this question, I got it. I had to say one word that described how I wanted to be in the matter of my life, in that given week. Some weeks I would say, “Focused,” others “grateful,” and others “energized.” As I pursued my week, this word was to be my focus- and it worked!

     a. Right now, whatever challenge you are facing, decide- How do you want to be in the matter?” For my friend losing her mom, perhaps it’s “Strength or Peace,” both of which would help her find tools to find strength and peace.

     b. For the mother searching school options it might be “Intuitive” meaning, to trust her intuition, to be still and listen for the right answer versus what others are saying. 

     c. For my long-time friend facing divorce, the word might be “Patient,” allowing herself time to work through her emotions and decisions that people are saying need to be made now. Do they really have to happen today? Decades into a marriage, does it have to end in a year? Patience is such a virtue.

2. Program you’re Thoughts: While we are not computers, our minds could power millions. We have so much power between our ears, its mind bogging. Right now, consider “your word.” As you begin to focus on your “word” your mind will find tools, resources, and even attract people into your life that will help you in ways you never imagined. While you will think, “Wow, this is so odd,” remember it’s not odd and it’s not a coincidence, its energy and you are literally making it happen, you are in control of who you want to be in the matter.

3. Give Yourself Credit: As you begin to create a mental shift, realize that you are making this happen. You are in control of your thoughts; you are creating the reality of the moment and know that if you did it today, you can do it again tomorrow and next week, next month and next year.

 Whatever is weighing on your mind, give it to your mind. What you need lies directly within you- so turn within. If you’re reading this post through the daily email and want to become an Ambassador for Get Your Girl Back, where I’ll ask for help from you from time to time, email me at Traci@GYGB.com and I’ll share what we are up to. If you’d like to get the daily blog post by email, sign up at https://gygb.com/category/blog/ and see what we’re working on how it can help you!

 Written by Traci Bild, Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement

<a href=”http://www.hypersmash.com”>HyperSmash</a>

 


Finding Me

Finding Me- Julie in her Hammock

My mom bought me a one-person hanging hammock for Christmas this year.  My first thought when I opened it was, “Oh, a hammock, thanks.”  I also have to admit I was thinking, “When am I ever going to use a hammock?”  My husband hung it in our back porch area and since I live in Florida with great weather to be outside, even in “chilly” winter, and was on a break from work I decided to get a book and try it out. 

One of my goals this year (and every year,) is to just stop the noise, quiet my mind, and allow me to just be me.  It’s very challenging for me as I am a driven career woman with demanding job and a husband and daughter.  I travel a lot, juggle many priorities, run my daughter to dance four days a week and try and get the dog out on a walk every day.  Quieting my mind is tough. 

I have to say one hour in the hammock and I was hooked.  It is now my perfect retreat.  It’s just for “me.” I now covet my “me” time that has truly allowed me to rest my mind, contemplate, think or not think, read great books (or just fluff magazines) and get inspired by focusing on appreciating everything and everyone in my life.  I have my 2014 Goal Sheet out and ready to complete during my next hammock session.

I now schedule hammock time in my day and look forward to my time.  It’s just for me.  Well, and maybe my dog…

Maybe mother does know best.

To learn more about how you can find yourself and be empowered by women like you, who seek to reinvent their lives, gain more freedom, adventure, passion, and purpose, join our Get Your Girl Back movement now https://gygb.com/join-the-movement/


 

new years resolutions

As the New Year unfolds, millions of people will create New Year’s Resolutions, take the time to write them down, feel good about crossing this annual task off their list and then turn inward and begin to immediately doubt their ability to see those resolutions through. Even as they write, many will be thinking to themselves, “I’m going to do this! But not really.” It’s that tug of war that happens in the brain. “If I tell myself I’m not going to do it and accept that then I won’t be disappointed when it doesn’t happen,” then they think, “Yet just maybe, I’ll get lucky and it will happen if I don’t count on it.” Have these thoughts ever plowed through your mind? If so, you are not alone.

I want to help because this year things can be different. You can set those resolutions and goals and see them become a reality, in turn building confidence in your ability to do what you set out to do. The number one secret to the accomplishment of any goal, dream or resolution, is mindset. You must set your mind to the task of seeing your resolutions through. What I mean is you will have to “fake it till you make it” and believe that it is already done. See yourself a success; consider what it will feel like when you have completed your goal or resolution, trick your mind into believing it’s already done- and your brain will work its tail off to ensure that indeed the tools, resources, and people needed to make your goal a reality; show up.

The mind loves to have a job, it likes to work. It will do exactly what you tell it to do. Consider for a moment, “What do you tell your mind daily?” Are you telling it what you want or don’t want? It is critical that you begin to focus your energy on what it is you want, can do, will have, and more. Give no attention to those things you don’t want. Whether you are thinking I’m crazy right now or making sense, I am telling you the secret that not many people are going to tell or explain to you in simple terms. While there are lots of books out on goal setting, I am an individual who has actually hit 95%+ of the goals I’ve set for myself in life. I’ve come from nothing and created everything in my life I’ve ever dreamed of through this process I’m sharing with you. I’m not taking others ideas and restating them, trying to convince myself that this stuff works or just talking because I want to be popular. I am doing this because I care. I have figured out the secret to making any dream or goal and reality and want you to experience the same.

I’ve traveled all over the world, married the man of my dreams- that I literally dreamed up while riding my pink huffy at the ripe old age of eight! I have two beautiful children, a business I love that has won many awards, bought my dream home, have authored two books, lived in Paris, and more. I tell you this because I’m living proof that anything is possible. I grew up with a single mom who struggled to raise three children. I am the girl people expected little of yet who expected everything of herself. I fought to create the life I live today and will continue to raise the bar, challenge myself, and see what I am capable of. What about you?

Perhaps this year, set a resolution to own your thoughts, to control what happens in your mind and shape your future by thinking your way to the life you always dreamed you would live. Come on, fight!!! To gain support, join our movement at https://gygb.com/join-the-movement/ and begin to change the way you think and the life you live.

 

Written by Traci Bild, Author and Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement   


 

"Kiss Kiss," one of her favorite sayings.

“Kiss Kiss,” one of her favorite sayings.

I’ll never forget the anguish of learning of my mother in law Pat’s breast Cancer. At first it seems surreal, like it wasn’t real or that perhaps it was just a dream I would wake from. Yet that dream turned into a nightmare, and in a matter of two years I lost my beloved mother-in-law to Cancer.

There would be no more gourmet dinners, sounds of the piano pouring out of the music room, or echoes of her woody-wood pecker laugh throughout her home. For years there would be a silence, so palpable and real you could feel it.

Pat knew she had a lump in her breast. Yet having many cysts in the past she ignored it and by the time she went to the doctor that lump had morphed into stage four breast cancer. I imagine it crossed her mind to get the lump checked but she was busy. Like most women Pat had a lot going on in her life. The matriarch of the family she was incessant about taking care of everyone, she had a small business on the side, and lots of friends and hobbies that brought her great joy. That lump- it was there but sadly it never made it onto that very important to do list.

The Get Your Girl Back movement is about giving women permission to take care of themselves. With work, family, volunteer responsibilities, cooking, cleaning, laundry and everything else you do in a day, that self-care rarely happens. I imagine if Pat could do it all over again, she would put herself on the list. She would have gone to the doctor, done more yoga; stopped smoking sooner, exercised more, taken more walks, found pictures in the clouds…if only she had more time.

There is no guarantee how much time we have on this amazing Earth. Whatever you intend to do, do it now- don’t wait. It’s not a coincidence that people who have near death experiences completely transform their lives; it’s a wakeup call and in some rare cases, people are given second chances. My advice to you is to live. Choose to live now, while you can, before it’s too late and your dreams are only wishes that can no longer come true. People need you and if you’re not here, you can’t help them.

So laugh more…I mean a deep, laugh til you cry belly laugh. Dance more, play more, cry more, sing more, take more risk, say what you need to say, write more letters, hold your husband’s had, kiss your children at every opportunity, feel the grass on your feet, play tickle monster, build tents in the living room, and live. Take a moment and think about what you are not doing that you will commit to start doing today. Post it as a comment here on my blog or on my FB page where others can see so you own it! Something happens that is very real when you write things down, particularly for others to see. I read every post and always respond so say it out loud and then do it!

Written by Traci Bild, Author & Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement

*Picture is of my husband David and my mother-in-law Pat, who I write this in tribute to and honor as we all learn the importance of putting ourselves on the list, through her loss.

You can learn more about the Get Your Girl Back movement at www.GYGB.com