Are You Living in Fear or Possibility?

For the past fifteen years I have called upon an amazing woman, whom I refer to as “My wise sage,” to help me in times of confusion, doubt or struggle. Her actual name is Sue. I’ve never met her in person, have no idea what she looks like but consider her one of the most influential women in my life and her advice and intuition is spot on.

Talking to Sue recently, she said something that rocked me to my core. “Traci, it seems you’re living in fear of the future instead of the possibility in it.” I felt the blood drain from my head and as if I might pass out. Seriously, it hit me like a ton of bricks because she was right and I had no idea.

Most disturbing is that I had always lived my life from a place of possibility- excited about the future- creating it first in my dream journals and then meticulously through very clear goal setting. Not once have I doubted my ability to do something and Sue knew this because she’s been coaching me for 15 years and seen it firsthand. So what changed?

I know it sounds really contrite but the only thing that changed was my thinking. In truth, something has been off in my mind for the past six months and I’ve struggled to access that part of my brain that instills confidence, belief and pure drive. At 44 I was thinking perhaps it was my age and something chemical- or at least that was an easy out for me. But when Sue said, “You’re living in fear of the future,” she unlocked my power- literally. That very day I instantly felt better because I knew what was wrong, my focus and thinking was off. Rather than put energy toward what it is I wanted, I was giving it to what I didn’t want and was afraid might happen in my life.

The brain is a very tricky organ. It needs a job and if you don’t give it one- a clear one, it will take over and in most cases, fill you with doubt, fear and anxiety. For me, this trigger built up due to actions I took in my consulting firm, Bild and Company. I had hired a new CEO the year prior to run my national organization; something I had done myself for over 20 years. While he has done a fantastic job, I never worked through the grieving process of “giving up my position” and also felt powerless to run my business because I had literally handed the job over to someone else. Known to many as the Mindset Mentor, I for sure had lost that ability over the past six months. What I didn’t lose was my refusal to live a mediocre life. Instinctually I knew I was losing the battle of the mind, but simply couldn’t figure out how to regain control. Refusing to give in, it finally hit me- I need to call Sue and thus the beginning of the story.

Almost like a fairy god mother waiving her wand, with one sentence Sue returned my power. Instantly I felt my mind, mood and spirit shift back to living in possibility. I couldn’t do better because I didn’t know better; now I do.

Even more powerful is the process I’ve been engaged in to find one “word” or phrase to encompass what the Get Your Girl Back movement is about. All I can say is God is good because through this experience, tough as it has been, he revealed it to me (and you are going to be among the first to hear it!).

I’ve always lived my life in possibility but many women have not. Before I could help others with this final piece of the puzzle, I had to experience it personally- not what it’s like to live in possibility- but the despair of living my life in fear.

I understand now- Get Your Girl Back for me has always been about possibility- how could I have missed it? The possibility to live an abundant life, the possibility to have a beautiful marriage, the possibility to enjoy great health, the possibility to raise well-mannered children who make a difference in the world, the possibility to use your natural talents and gifts in your work, the possibility to have financial freedom, the possibility to live in gratitude, the possibility to have balance and the possibility to have fulfillment in your life. There are SO MANY POSSIBILITIES! You just have to expect them to show up!

This is the possibility I’ve lived in since I was a girl- that along the way was lost- but regained. This is Get Your Girl Back- so go, live in possibility and make your life what you’ve always dreamed it would be. Comment here on my blog your thoughts, I would love to hear them.

Please, if this message resonates with you, help me spread the word to the women you know and love. Forward them the blog, encourage them to sign up for Notes From Your Girl or advise them to download a FREE dream journal and see what it feels like to map out their life and live in possibility. Just visit www.GYGB.com for any of these immediate actions. Thanks for supporting me through this journey. We are just getting started.

 

 

 

 

{Guest Blog Post} I am not as good as…

I like to bring new women into the Get Your Girl Back conversation by having them contribute guest blog posts to the website.  We can learn so much from each other!  I met Angie last week at the Younique conference and we hit it off right away.  She has such a powerful story.  Without further ado, here’s Angie!

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I am not as good as…

I was walking the track the other day with my son when a woman ran by us. Immediately, I stopped listening to my son and started an internal dialogue comparing myself to this woman. “Why am I not doing that?” “Wow, look at her figure!” “She is amazing and, because I can’t do that, I am not.” “I wish I could be like her…” Then, the realization of what I was doing hit me! I was doing exactly what I had just told my son to stop doing!

The conversation that I lost with my son was all about being judgmental. He was talking to me about comparing himself to others – either for the better or the worse. I had told him that judging others and ourselves only makes us unhappy. It makes us unable to see the beauty in both ourselves as well as other people. And here I was doing exactly that! As soon as I started comparing myself to this amazing woman on the track, I stopped seeing what was beautiful in me. I began judging myself and believing that I am not as good as she is. Of course, that is simply not true! I am amazing, too! We all are!

Don’t get me wrong, looking at what others have and are able to do can help us aspire to be able to do or to have the same things. However, when we judge ourselves as less than because we aren’t at the same level, we lose the ability to ever have or do those things. We also put a barrier between ourselves and them. When you look at someone else and judge them to be better than you, you create a situation where you cannot learn from them. You put them up on a pedestal and aren’t able to hear their teachings. As a middle school teacher, I constantly tell my students that we are equal, that my position as a teacher doesn’t change the fact that we are all human beings. The students who believe this are the students who learn the most and have the most fun doing so! They are also the students who teach me the most!

Here I was again in a situation to learn from a fellow human being and I was creating that barrier. I put this woman on a pedestal and suddenly put her teachings out of my reach. I decided right then and there that was not okay with me! I decided that I needed to ask her to come to my girl group and talk to all of us. I wanted to learn from her! I will have to do that another time, though, she breezed around me a couple of times while I was musing and I couldn’t find her by the time that I was ready. I look forward to seeing her next time! Of course, now that my eyes were open, I was able to see the beauty in so many men and women around me; I also was not afraid of them!

As I moved into the next activity with my son, stretching out those sore muscles, I saw a beautiful woman on the weight machines. She was tall, muscular, absolutely gorgeous, and covered in inspiring tattoos. I just had to talk to her! I waited until she had finished her sets and then introduced myself. I learned that she started working out 2 years ago, that she had not always been able to do what I saw her doing today, that she had not always felt amazing. She had a story to share. She had once been where I am right now! She agreed to come to my group and talk to me and the girls – yes, we are all women, but we all love and embrace our girl! I am ecstatic to have met her and cannot wait to hear her story so I can learn to do what she has done and then do it myself! I AM as GOOD as!

Written by Angela St-Germain, middle school ESL teacher and founder of Mascara and Muchness. Follow Angela on Facebook (Mistress of Muchnesss or personal profile Angela St-Germain) for more inspiration and ideas on being muchier!

FB: Mistress of Muchness ∙ Instagram: Mistress_of_Muchness ∙ Twitter: @AngieSt_Germain