Six Strategies to Spice Up Your Relationship & Bring Back the Fun, Adventure, & Passion!

Our theme here at Get Your Girl Back for Mondays is FOCUS. With this being the week of love, a la Valentine’s Day, I wanted to share some thoughts on how your girl can make this year different. Rather than making a big deal about Valentine’s Day, how about making a big deal about your man or partner and the changes you would like to see in your relationship not for a day, but for the year and beyond?

I received this awesome email from one of our Get Your Girl Back Ambassadors in response to a blog I wrote on date night- this is a perfect example of the power of focus and how she used it to put FUN back into her marriage.

“I was going on a date with my husband the night I read your blog- and I specifically went and changed out of my cardigan and turtleneck into a SKIRT (I never wear skirts) and a top that you could see my neck… (I don’t have cleavage)! I put on new makeup and perfume and had an attitude that we were going to have FUN.  It was great- We even had our kids take our picture before we left to go out.  Woo Hoo!”

How cool is that? Whether you are single and looking for love or married and in love, commit to putting in the effort to do things differently this year and to reap the amazing rewards that come forward. Here are the strategies Dave and I have used for the past twenty years to keep the flames of passion alive. We met at the ripe old age of 21!  Twenty-two years later, while I can’t say our marriage is perfect, it’s pretty damn good. Look, if I’m spending the rest of my life with this guy, I want to enjoy it. Besides, when I met Dave I had my girl- it’s not fair to him if I don’t honor who I was when we met and of course continue to get better with age! So give these strategies a try:

1.            Adventure Night: Forget dinner and a movie! Turn date night into adventure night by doing things that are fun, foster laughter and real connection. Consider a comedy club, dancing, a cooking class, or sledding (all less expensive than dinner & a movie).

2.            Team Up: While you might do things better, odds are your husband wants to help, so let him and lavish complements often (don’t worry, he will reciprocate).

3.            Tough Talk: Don’t shy away from the tough topics that are eating at your relationship. Ask for ideas on how to resolve them and share your willingness to work through them openly.

4.            Slow Dance: It’s impossible to stay mad when slow dancing with the one you love. You will immediately start to smile, laugh and enter a better place.

5.            Vacation– Alone! It’s okay to leave the kids behind for a short vacation. Go ahead, book that weekend trip and eventually a trip to Italy or France together (what else are you going to do with all those credit card points?). The kids will have a great role model of how a healthy marriage should be.

6.            Dream Together: Find out what dreams your partner has and be sure to offer encouragement. Better yet, find a dream you can pursue together for an immediate spark to reignite the relationship.          

Me and my husband on date night!

Me and my husband on date night!

Stop for a moment and remember when you first fell in love. What did you used to do for fun together, what did you talk about, how did you dress, what dreams did you have…? Consider your relationship today, what do you do together now, what do you typically talk about, how do you dress when doing things together, what dreams- if any, do you share?

Could it be time to focus on creating the relationship you always dreamed you would have when you grew up? Use these ideas to start or create some of your own but take the first step, lead the way and start to reignite the flames of love and passion in your marriage or relationship this Valentine’s Day and keep the focus alive all year (or ponder the type of relationship you want). Please share your ideas for keeping the flames of love alive here on our blog and on our Facebook page (Get Your Girl Back movement) page so that others can give them a try! Love hearing from you!

If you’d like to get the daily blog post by email, sign up at http://bit.ly/1j2ol3s.  If you’re reading this post through the daily email and want to become an Ambassador for Get Your Girl Back, where I’ll ask for help from you from time to time, email me at Traci@GYGB.com and I’ll share what we are up to.  Join our 10 Week Life Class Series starting Friday February 14th from 12-12:30 pm ET! Email Tara@TraciBild.com to register now and it’s free!  Details to follow!

Written by Traci Bild, Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement & expert on Women’s Issues

Releasing Guilt by Guest Blogger Melody Stevenson, Author of Time Millionaire & Founder of Mozart’s & Einstein’s Pre-School in NYC

I would like to open this blog by introducing the amazing Melody Stevens. While she won’t say it, I will bet she has literally invested sweat, blood and tears into creating what is now the most prestigious pre-school for the arts and academics in NYC. I am so proud of Melody and happened to speak with her last week while she was taking a rare day to herself. Knowing how hard this was for her to do, I begged her to write a blog for our Get Your Girl Back readers because for most of us the guilt over taking time for ourselves is paralyzing. Not only did Melody take a day for herself, she has embarked on a new way of living, where she is prioritizing, lightening her work load, delegating, and simply letting go. It’s so powerful to see and such an important lesson for all of us. So on with Melody’s blog post…

Free Time? Wow!

In the past few days, I’ve found myself with extra time. Some from cancelled appointments due to snow, but mostly because I’ve successfully built two brick and mortar businesses, one in NJ and one in NY that have come to run day to day without me. My brand new NY business took about three months in operation before I could leave the premises full time. I generally go into NY about once or twice a week now, but I’m fairly useless if I hang out there for more than a few hours, so this is really recent. Thank you to my dream teams in both states.

Taking Control

Another reason I have extra time is because I just hired a brand new nanny for my daughter who is a nutrition major and she is fun, upbeat, and my daughter loves her. For the past few days I’ve been coming home to delicious and healthy home cooked meals, a clean home, and a happy daughter who has all her homework and music practicing done.

And so, what’s a woman to do when she has found herself with a few days of not working full time and not caring for her family full time? Struggle with guilt, of course!

So, what IS there to do besides work and family? This question plagued me in my late teens and twenties, and now, in my forties, it still does.

  • Really? I have three hours a day to work out in the gym like a movie star?
  • I can go to a day spa and hang out in a whirlpool?
  • I can read and write and work on my recovery from compulsive eating? Seriously?
  • I can spend hours a day doing things to “get my girl back?” (Thank you Traci Bild for the “Get Your Girl Back” movement. www.gygb.com)!

Guilt, Guilt, Guilt!

But, but, but, what does that make me? Lazy? Self-centered? Selfish? How dare I spend this time right now in Starbucks- after enjoying a latte- writing to you while my husband is working his 9-5 corporate job and a nanny is picking up my daughter in an hour?

I’m about to attend a yoga class. This morning I attended a support group meeting for food addiction. Earlier this afternoon I tuned into a Geneen Roth course…..

Maybe a little later I can take some time and just do nothing. No TV, no video games….nothing. Sounds pretty heavenly actually. I think I will have to go to the library or something in order to do to nothing. :-).

I’m sure there’s plenty more I could be doing besides working and taking care of my family…how about just hanging out with friends? Ha-ha that’s making me a little giddy; although I think my friends might feel guilty taking time away from work and family just to hang out. Oy.

Why do I feel the need to tell you that I DID check my emails and I DID check in on my business today? Because I imagine some business guru out on the stratospheres somewhere or a shark from the show “Shark Tank” will shame me for taking the WHOLE day off. So, I’m telling you now, I DID check in. Which is strange because many of the most successful business people that I most respect actually advocate at least one day a week totally “unplugged!”

Okay, so at least intellectually I realize that the hours and/or days I spend working on and investing in myself, and doing things that just plain feel good are some of the most important times I spend. I do realize that it’s always a wise investment.

A New Way of Living

And, I know that precisely because I’ve had some “me” time in the past couple of days, I have had more patience, compassion, presence of mind, and love for the two most important people in my life, my husband and my daughter. For two nights now I’ve been what I consider a very caring and loving wife and mother.

Most days, I’ve not had this level of patience or presence for them. So right now I am-

  • Breathing.
  • And, working on releasing the guilt once and for all.
Melody Stevens

Melody Stevens

 

 

Written by Guest Blogger Melody Stevens, Author of Time Millionaire and founder of Mozart’s & Einstein’s Pre-School for arts & academics. You can learn more about Melody at http://melodystevens.net/

If you’d like to get the daily Get Your Girl Back blog post by email, sign up at http://bit.ly/1j2ol3s. If you’re reading this post through the daily email and want to become an Ambassador for Get Your Girl Back, where I’ll ask for help from you from time to time, email me at Traci@GYGB.com and I’ll share what we are up to.

Self-Confidence: Fight for Your Girl and don’t let her go.

[Occasionally I will post blog entries directed to young girls between the ages of 8-17 so that we can help our young woman never lose Their Girl.  Please print this out and share with your daughter, niece, or young girl you’re mentoring.  Let this be a special time to connect with them!]

As a young girl, it’s not always easy to know your place in the world. Looking around, it probably seems that everyone has it so easy- but you. Your friends are gifted and smart, great at their sport, pretty, popular, and have the best of everything; from smart phones to clothes. While all you want to do is fit in, it seems that you move further and further from that goal. “When are things going to get better?”

Portrait of four smiling teenage girls outside

A Secret

I would like to let you in on a secret. You are not alone. Not only do your friends feel the same way, even those who seem to have it all, your mom probably experiences similar feelings too! It is in our nature to look at other people and measure ourselves against them- Who they are, what they have, how you compare and so on. What you must do is change your focus. Rather than focus on what you don’t have, begin to focus on what you do have. Every person has a set of talents and gifts they are born with, including YOU! While you may not think so it’s true, you simply have to find them.

You’re Gifts

Start to look within and think about what you are good at, what comes natural to you and what others say you do so well…that literally is hard for them but comes natural to you. Does anything come to mind right now? If you are immediately thinking of your friends and what they do great, stop it! Look within…you are amazing too. My daughter Paris is ten and we’ve discovered that her natural gifts are for music, foreign language, and advocating for others. Who would have ever thought that? While it’s not exciting for her today and feels like work versus fun, it’s what she was born to do! When she is 15, 18, 20, and beyond, these gifts have the opportunity to change her life. So think about you own life…is your gift writing, baking, ballet or drawing? Look around your room…clues lie everywhere! What do you see? Odds are you are drawn to something on a regular basis- that speaks to you, and makes you feel calm, inspired or excited. Ask your mom, dad, grandma, or teacher this question, “Is there anything you’ve noticed that I’m really good at and that could be a natural talent for me?” (Note- only ask people who really love and support you this question).

Be Patient

It might take some time to discover your natural talent or gift but I promise it is there inside of you. You are special and YOU were meant for something great! Work to find that gift, be proud of it, invest time in cultivating it and give yourself credit where it is deserved. Spend less time comparing and beating yourself up and more time laughing, dreaming, playing, singing, and dancing! You are a kid so be one because you will be grown up soon enough.

For now, I want to encourage you to begin paying attention to what your focus is on. When you start to feel down, unimportant, or alone, take the focus off of that train of thought and put it on what it is you want. The grade you want on the test, the friends you will make, the team you will get on, the look you will have, the way you want to feel and the life you desire to have. Keep your focus on what it is you want versus what it is you don’t want (don’t give that any energy). I know it sounds odd but the more you do this, the faster you will learn to get control of your thoughts, emotions, and ultimately your level of happiness.

So while we adult women work to get our girl back, I want to help you ensure yours never leaves. This is your life, your experience and it’s up to you to decide what you will do with it. Getting control of your thoughts and then learning to direct them toward what you want in life will forever transform your experience and allow you to live a life beyond your wildest dreams.

If you’d like to get the daily blog post by email, sign up at http://bit.ly/1j2ol3s. If you’re reading this post through the daily email and want to become an Ambassador for Get Your Girl Back, where I’ll ask for help from you from time to time, email me at Traci@GYGB.com and I’ll share what we are up to.

Written by Traci Bild, Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement & expert on Women and Girl Issues

UPDATE ON LAST WEEK’S POPULAR BLOG- HOW MY 10 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER LOST PART OF HER GIRL

Paris on bars- Being a champion is about ability and character, both must be built.

Paris on bars- Being a champion is about ability and character, both must be built.

Sharing the story of what happened to my ten year old daughter Paris last week on my blog, http://bit.ly/1djkyGQ was really difficult. It’s not always easy to open up and share your wounds with other people. Yet it seems that her experience resonated with our readers in a powerful way. I’ve had many questions from wonderful people about “the rest of the story,” so here it is.

If you have not read the blog yet, please do so now http://bit.ly/1djkyGQ and then come back to this one.

In response to Paris’s experience at gymnastics, I scheduled an appointment to go in and talk with her coach. However, I would not be doing the talking, Paris would. Dave and I asked the coach to sit down with Paris and explain to her personally what was going on. When we picked Paris up from school she asked why both Dave and I were in the car and why we were going to the gym with her. We responded that she had an appointment with her coach and that we were simply there to support her. That she needed to find out why she was being yanked from her team workout, ask as many questions as she had, and decide what she wanted to do going forward. This was her deal, not ours. The important lesson we wanted to impart, no matter how hard it was on our hearts was that as a girl of ten, she needed to start handling her own problems and learn how to resolve them, communicate and process her emotions versus daddy and I swooping in to save her!

The Truth Hurts…

While very difficult to admit, her coach was probably correct in moving Paris to another group. Coming from a different gym two years ago, with different methods, Paris was still catching up at this elite gym. Loving gymnastics for the sport, not the competition, she was falling behind in comparison to the girls “there to win.” The coach explained everything and apologized for the way she informed Paris, in front of her peers-that she would no longer be part of the group.

I asked Paris, who was devastated just a day prior, what she wanted to do. Her options were to quit, move to a different gym, go into a group that was not competitive or press forward and show people what she was made of and fight to get back into the group she loves. She chose to stay right where she was, in the group her coach moved her to. I was so proud of her. Through my pain as a mom, watching my little girl face the trials of growing up, I prayed she would make this choice. We’ve faced tough things before and I’ve tried to make sure she knows that it is not what happens in life but how you respond to what happens that matters.

On a Mission…

The night we got home from the gym, Paris moved her balance beam up from the garage to the living room. Is this love or what? I now have a floor level beam in my living room and a gymnast on it around the clock. Yet I know this time will pass… and if this is what it takes to show our love and support, we’ll keep that darn balance beam in the living room for as long as it takes.

The next six months will be hard for Paris, she will feel many emotions as she watches her best friends all work out together four days a week while she is in a group with girls she doesn’t know. She will deal with her humiliation, feelings of inadequacies, (perceived) failure and embarrassment. Yet those emotions, I have a strong feeling, will begin to build a new part of her character, strengthen her resolve to prove she is capable and just might produce a champion who  was lying within; waiting to be awoken!

What I Learned….God Help Me!

As a mom it was so hard to not jump in and fix this problem for Paris. I was literally screaming and crying inside, having never seen her in that emotional state before I wanted to go into the gym and demand they put her back into her regular team practice group, with her teammates that she loved- tell them they were wrong, or had made a mistake. Yet in my heart, I knew this would not prepare her for the world. So moms, when the going gets tough and you face a moment like we did, which you will, remember this story, reach out to us for support, and know that a caterpillar cannot become a butterfly if a person helps it break out of its cocoon. It must struggle and fight to get out and in doing so its wings strengthen; which in turn allows it to fly. If you want your child to fly, you must let her (or him) struggle to grow her wings.

If you’d like to get the daily blog post by email, sign up at http://bit.ly/1j2ol3s.  If you’re reading this post through the daily email and want to become an Ambassador for Get Your Girl Back, where I’ll ask for help from you from time to time, email me at Traci@GYGB.com and I’ll share what we are up to.

Written by Traci Bild, Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement & expert on Women’s Issues

 

 

 

 

  

Girls, don’t let anyone take away your SPARKLE

This message is for your daughter or niece…please pass it on. I’m taking a darn lemon and turning it into lemonade. As I write I am fuming with anger- If you have not yet read my blog, Last Night, I Saw it Before My Eyes, Her Girl Ripped Out of Her Heart & It Broke Mine Into Pieces, stop and read it now.

In response to my own experience of losing my girl and seeing my daughter, begin to start the same process at age 9 and 10, I have decided to dedicate a weekly blog for our daughters, nieces and girls we love who are growing up in a competitive, dog eat dog, complex world. When you receive this blog, be sure to forward to her email, print for her to review at the dinner table, tuck into her back pack or text her to read. I refuse to just sit by and watch the environment in which our girls are raised, without raising my hand and voice, to make a difference. I need your help, please to spread the word and these blogs. Together we can impact little girls lives and of course their mothers through the Get Your Girl Back blog.

This message is specifically for girls, 8-17, who are developing mentally, physically and in confidence and belief in their ability to be somebody. SO GIRLS THIS MESSAGE IS FOR YOU!

1. Don’t Ever Let Anyone Steal Your Sparkle: Odds are you have an amazing spirit, laugh a lot, love to have fun and don’t take yourself too seriously. This is wonderful and you must hold on to this as long as you can. If someone tells you anything along the lines of:

a. You’re not good enough (to be on our team, to enter that competition, to be my friend, etc.); you must stand up for yourself, no matter how hard it is. Here are some examples: You can respond with something like, “I’m sorry you feel that way, but I don’t. In fact, I’m going to …try out for the team, register for the competition today, stick with my friends who get me because clearly you don’t.”

b. Your heart will beat, you will probably need to run into the restroom and cry, but you will feel empowered for standing up for yourself and the person piercing you with cruel words; kid or adult, will think twice about doing it again.

2. Breathe: Sounds silly but take a big, deep breath in…hold it…and let it out slowly. Do this two or three times, if not more. This technique will immediately calm your nerves and help you regain control.

3. Think! Before taking action, due to anger or frustration, really think about what you want to do. In short, don’t act without thinking. Give yourself an hour or even a day to decide what is best for you. We all think better when we are calm.

4. Respond: Take action girlfriend! Do what you know you are capable of because you want to and remember, you don’t need anyone’s permission to be great. God put you on this earth for a reason, so find it, and let your light shine!

 sparkle

Look, while this may be hard to understand, it’s a fact, life is what YOU make it. Bad stuff is going to happen, what matters is how you respond to it. Here are a few cool people to remember when things get tough!

* Albert Einstein didn’t speak until age four and didn’t read until age seven. His teachers labeled him “slow” and “mentally handicapped.” But Einstein just had a different way of thinking. He later won the Nobel Prize in physics.

* Oprah Winfrey was fired from her television reporting job because they told her she wasn’t fit to be on screen. But Winfrey rebounded and became the undisputed queen of television talk shows. She’s also a billionaire.

* Dr. Seuss’ first book was rejected by 27 different publishers. He’s now the most popular children’s book author ever.

No matter what- never, ever, ever, ever give up. Trust in your ability, your natural gifts, talents and abilities, make decisions that are best for you- not those that are cool or going to impress your friends. And remember, your girl, the one with all the sparkle, joy and happiness? She doesn’t want to leave…she wants to stay, play and remain a part of your life so pay attention and keep her close!

 

Written by Traci Bild, Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement & Empowerment Expert

 

 

Last Night, I Saw it Before My Eyes, Her Girl Ripped Out of Her Heart & It Broke Mine Into Pieces

Last night I literally witnessed the loss of a girl. I saw her dissipate before my very eyes and it ripped my heart out. Worse yet, the little girl who was seeing her innocence, passion and purpose in life ripped away- was just ten years old and my daughter, Paris. 

As the founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement, I know what it’s like to lose my girl, trust me; I speak from experience. I can’t begin to describe the feeling of seeing it happen to another person, particularly someone you love- it’s indescribable. While difficult to write about it is my hope that you will become aware of what this movement is really about and be able to help both women and girls understand who their girl is, her power, and how important it is to FIGHT for her at all cost because once you lose her you have to fight like hell to get her back!

There She Goes…

Paris is a competitive gymnast and has been for the past four years (and has been in gymnastics since the age of four). She spends 15 hours a week at the gym, works her tail off and is not what some might call a natural. She has to fight for every win, confront her fears weekly, and work twice as hard at her skills as the girls with natural ability. Yet she pushes through. Paris just ended her competition season and improved at every meet. Excited the season was over, she was just starting to work on new skills, challenge herself and talked every day of the new things she was doing and how empowering it was to grow in her gymnastic levels and move up with the big girls. 

Then six words stole her girl. One of her coaches walked up to her and said, “You’re not going to Optionals ” which is the next level. Paris was stunned.  Told to go practice with the young girls, a level down, she was completely humiliated as her peers stood by and watched. She didn’t know what was going on or why she was being moved. There was no explanation, no curiosity of pulling her aside or talking to her about what was happening.  She walked out of the gym crying like I’ve never seen and struggling to breathe. She said she was sick but I knew something was up. I hugged her and asked if someone said something mean to her. After some prodding she opened up and told me what happened. I’ve never, in ten years, seen Paris cry so hard. She was broken, humiliated, isolated from her friends, and worst of all? She didn’t even know why. 

Paris, finding comfort and unconditional love with Winter.

You Just Lost a Piece of Your Girl

I counseled Paris the best I knew how and then I told her, “Paris, I hate to tell you this but you just lost a part of your girl (she is crazy about this movement but I don’t think really got it until last night). I’m sorry. I wish this didn’t happen but it did and it will happen more often as you get older. What you must do is decide right now who you are, what you are made of and how you will respond.” Let’s be honest, I was dying inside. 

Paris is ten; so far I’ve seen her lose a bit of her girl on two occasions with this being the worse. What blows my mind is how young it starts, and the weapon most often used: Words, cast by others, that steal our confidence and belief in our abilities. 

How old are you? Can you remember when you first began to lose your girl? Did it happen all at once or over time, bit… by bit… by bit? Guess what? It’s time to fight for your girl because she is there inside you waiting to come back.

This movement was created to remind you of your girl, to help you understand who she was and where she went. Together we can prevent any further loss of your girl, as well as help your daughters, nieces, and dear friends keep from losing theirs.  If you are brave, please share on my blog, your memory so we can all better understand, unite, and deal with this loss and then put on our boxing gloves!  I would also love to share in future blogs as examples for our daughters.  On a personal note, if you know me, PLEASE do not mention this experience to your child if a friend of my daughter’s or speak of in front of her. I am using this experience, even though very difficult, to teach and help you and the girls you love. At the end of the day Paris is a superhero- she will put on her armor and fight back, because that is who she is and as a result she will grow stronger. The same holds true for you.  PLEASE WATCH LATER TODAY FOR MY FIRST EVER BLOG, WRITTEN FOR YOUR DAUGHTER OR NIECE. I WILL DEDICATE ONE PER WEEK GOING FORWARD.  If you’d like to get the daily blog post by email, sign up at http://gygb.com/category/blog/. If you’re reading this post through the daily email and want to become an Ambassador for Get Your Girl Back, where I’ll ask for help from you from time to time, email me at Traci@GYGB.com and I’ll share what we are up to. 

Written by Traci Bild, Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement & expert on Women’s Issues

Busy Moms- Schedule So Packed You Have Forgotten to Schedule in Time to Live?

I've always loved to play dress up!

I’ve always loved to play dress up!

It’s Friday and in my effort to keep my girl, I’m sailing off to Tampa tomorrow to become a wench pirate for the weekend as Dave and I dive into the fun of Gasparilla.  We have done this event for close to a decade and it’s one of my favorite weekends of the year. We will get on our boat Endurance in the morning and head off to Tampa from Clearwater, which takes about four hours. During the trip I will read, day dream, sleep, glimpse dolphins, take in Dave as he captains away, and smell the sea salt as it drifts through the air.

We will dock up behind the Marriott for a weekend of fun. To gain passage onto our boat you must be in full pirate dress and ready to enter another place and time. We will spend all day Saturday on deck entertaining pirates, throwing beads, eating, talking, laughing, dancing and having plain old fashioned FUN! My girl loves this event! As long as I can remember I have loved to get dressed up and pretend I’m someone else- Check out my picture from last year, ha!

A World That Never Stops

In a world that never stops…where there is so much to do that at times we forget to breathe, you must make time for fun. If your weekends are packed with non-stop activities, and it’s not really like a weekend, then consider making a change. You must find time to relax, decompress and just be. If you don’t have downtime, you will forget to laugh, cry, play, and be a girl. You cannot just do, do and do. So ask yourself right now, “When was the last time you simply had fun? When did you last do nothing? If you had a day or two free, what would YOU do with it?”

A big reason women lose their girl is because the woman buries her in responsibility! Every hour on the family calendar is crammed with something to do, some place to go…a sporting event, tutoring session, lesson of some sort, it never ends. Did you have a calendar like this as a child? Stop to think…your mother might have worked all day while you were in school but she could come HOME after work, relax a little bit with the family, watch some television, tend to a hobby, and eat dinner with the family. Moms today don’t have the luxury. They are at work all day and at kid type events all night only to run home, have an hour to clean up, do some laundry, and drop into bed and hit REPLAY all over again six to eight hours later! This is no way to live and you will not be able to sustain it forever. The price is too high: Anxiety, exhaustion, frustration, depression, anger, lack of connection with your partner, and more.

So just for today, FRIDAY and maybe even for tomorrow, SATURDAY, cut yourself some slack. Relax, have some downtime and DO NOT feel guilty. Give yourself the gift of free time, connection, laughter, joy and freedom. Come Monday, ponder if just perhaps you can reconsider your schedule, take control and modify it a bit to allow time to LIVE.

If you’re reading this post through the daily email and want to become an Ambassador for Get Your Girl Back, where I’ll ask for help from you from time to time, email me at Traci@GYGB.com and I’ll share what we are up to. If you’d like to get the daily blog post by email, sign up at http://gygb.com/category/blog/ and see what we’re working on how it can help you!

 

Written by Traci Bild, Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement

<a href=”http://www.hypersmash.com”>HyperSmash.com</a>

 

 

 

Grandmother, Mother, and Daughter, the Generational Shift That Stole Your Girl

TODAY’S FOCUS IS: MANAGE

3 generations of women

When you were in fourth grade, that special year that research shows girls have the most self-confidence, what did you think you would do when you grew up? Come on; think back, do you remember? My daughter Paris is in fifth grade and her thoughts might spark memories. Here are a few of her possibilities; “I want to be a mom, take over mommies companies Get Your Girl Back and Bild & Company, be a school teacher, or maybe a gymnastics teacher…” anything ring a bell? If not, ask your daughter or niece this very important question, “What do you think you will do when you grow up?”

Two Full Time Jobs

I imagine that the answer, “I will work two full time jobs” never got onto that list and the very thought of your daughter or niece doing that terrifies you. Yet the fact is, that is what most women are doing. They start at the crack of dawn, getting kids ready for school, only to head off to a day job that ends at 4 or 5, then head back home for the most important job of all, parenting and wife- the managing of a beautiful family to include cooking, cleaning, tutoring, carpooling, sporting events, laundry, grocery shopping, and more. Normally that job ends around 9 pm when everyone is safely tucked into bed and the last dishes are put away, loose shoes put in the shoe basket, and back packs set by the door. While you may love your life and wouldn’t trade it for anything, the question to ask is “How do you manage it all without losing track of yourself?”

The Generational Divide

Odds are your grandmother didn’t work and if she did boy was she a trailblazer! In most cases, her full time job was the raising of her family and managing of her home. Her daughter, quite possibly your mother, was raised to be like her mom, to be a homemaker. Yet something happened- people started to get divorced and if your mom is anything like mine, these women were unprepared. With little job training or college behind them, they were forced to enter the workforce, work two to three jobs to survive, and in many cases, even marry- not for love but to put a roof over their children’s heads. Life for many of our mothers was not was they expected.

Then there are the women of my generation, those who watched from the side as our mothers struggled to survive, find work, and make a place for themselves in the world.  We became determined- we would not rely on anyone to take care of us, we would work, and provide for ourselves. So off to college we went! Fast forward to today- Women are unprepared- and rightly so! In the span of three generations, women went from one job to two; yet extra hours were not added to the day, we simply have had to learn how to manage it all and the one thing that regularly falls off the list is YOU.

As women who both work at home and outside the home, putting in sixteen hour days, it’s more important than ever to focus on systems that will help you better manage your life.  This is what Get Your Girl Back is all about. Reading these daily blogs will serve as a guide to help you on this wonderful journey called life! My goal today is to help you understand why at times, you might feel like you are going to go crazy and to know that you are not alone. My mom recently got me a sign that reads, “Some call it chaos, we call it family.” I love this sign and so enjoy the chaos- yet in that chaos is order, fun, adventure, and pure bliss. I want to help you learn how to keep all the good, yummy parts of your life and repair those that are broken and not-so good right now. Odds are there is more good than bad so with a little focus you can reignite your passion and create a life by design, not circumstance.

So ponder today’s message, take it in. Then, commit to learn, grow and implement new ideas into your life and if you have a daughter, teach her what you learn so she understands how to keep her girl, front and center- then there will never be a need to get her back!

Written by Traci Bild, Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement

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