Posting today from Breckenridge, Colorado! Each year we come up as a family to ski and I find it one of the most challenging things I do all year. The reason I love to ski is because it’s not just physical ability but MENTAL ability too.
Every day when I come off the lift, I stare down that darn mountain. I literally have to fight for control of my thoughts. What starts as “Are you kidding me, no way!” Becomes, “Bring it on! If these little kids can do it, I can do it. What’s the worse thing that can happen? I’ll fall and boom, I’ll get back up!” Believe me, a fight goes on in my mind but I refuse to let it win. I’m getting down that mountain and having fun!
Can you Relate?
I imagine you can relate to what I’m saying even though you may not be skiing right now! How many times this week did something happen that caused a mental battle in your mind? So much of what we do or don’t do starts with that is going on in our head. Get Your Girl Back is about mindset more than anything else. When you think you can do anything, you can.
The next time that mental battle starts, whether it’s in regards to finances, health, relationships, career, guilt or something else, get in control. Here is how:
1. Restate your thoughts. When that defeating thought comes to your mind, restate it. For example:
“I look horrible, I’m getting so old!”
Restate: “I feel great, am healthy and in control of my health! It’s good to be alive!”
2. Fake it til you make it: While you might not believe what you say right away, trust me- the more you start to do this, restate your thoughts, the stronger that mental brain muscle becomes. You have to train it to think about what you want, can do and will have and it will respond in kind!
I know, it sounds really simple right? It is! We are the ones that make life difficult. You must learn to give your brain a job and that job is to support, encourage and believe in you when no one else will! If you going to fight for someone, why not fight for yourself? Starting this moment, pay attention to your thoughts, restate when need be and start to take hold of the power you have over the results in your life!
If you’re reading this post through the daily email and want to become an Ambassador for Get Your Girl Back, where I’ll ask for help from you from time to time, email me at Traci@GYGB.com and I’ll share what we are up to. If you’d like to get the daily blog post by email, sign up at http://gygb.com/category/blog/ and see what we’re working on how it can help you!
Odds are there is something that is taking up most of your thought space. For one dear mentor, it’s preparing herself for the passing of her mother. How do you actually do that?
For a mother I know, it’s which school to pick for her daughter, who is entering middle school. Does she go to the new engineering magnet or the fundamental where her friends are going? And another, I’ve known most of my life; it’s whether to end a marriage that was supposed to stand the test of time. Does she stay and fight or does she begin a fresh start? Worse yet, there are children involved, a business, and lots of promises. What does she do, how does she decide, and what if she makes the wrong move?
DECIDE HOW YOU’RE GOING TO RESPOND
As you work to get your girl back, which really is about the state of mind you live from on a daily basis, consider the issue you are dealing with today. Big or little, there is no greater asset to help you transition through difficult times than your mind. Here are 3 steps that can help you right now:
1. Decide How You Want to Feel: I once had a coach, Sue Youngs, who I adore and who would say at the beginning of each call, “Decide who you want to be in the matter.” At first I would think, “What does she mean?” Yet after years of working with her and ending each call with this question, I got it. I had to say one word that described how I wanted to be in the matter of my life, in that given week. Some weeks I would say, “Focused,” others “grateful,” and others “energized.” As I pursued my week, this word was to be my focus- and it worked!
a. Right now, whatever challenge you are facing, decide- How do you want to be in the matter?” For my friend losing her mom, perhaps it’s “Strength or Peace,” both of which would help her find tools to find strength and peace.
b. For the mother searching school options it might be “Intuitive” meaning, to trust her intuition, to be still and listen for the right answer versus what others are saying.
c. For my long-time friend facing divorce, the word might be “Patient,” allowing herself time to work through her emotions and decisions that people are saying need to be made now. Do they really have to happen today? Decades into a marriage, does it have to end in a year? Patience is such a virtue.
2. Program you’re Thoughts: While we are not computers, our minds could power millions. We have so much power between our ears, its mind bogging. Right now, consider “your word.” As you begin to focus on your “word” your mind will find tools, resources, and even attract people into your life that will help you in ways you never imagined. While you will think, “Wow, this is so odd,” remember it’s not odd and it’s not a coincidence, its energy and you are literally making it happen, you are in control of who you want to be in the matter.
3. Give Yourself Credit: As you begin to create a mental shift, realize that you are making this happen. You are in control of your thoughts; you are creating the reality of the moment and know that if you did it today, you can do it again tomorrow and next week, next month and next year.
Whatever is weighing on your mind, give it to your mind. What you need lies directly within you- so turn within. If you’re reading this post through the daily email and want to become an Ambassador for Get Your Girl Back, where I’ll ask for help from you from time to time, email me at Traci@GYGB.com and I’ll share what we are up to. If you’d like to get the daily blog post by email, sign up at http://gygb.com/category/blog/ and see what we’re working on how it can help you!
Written by Traci Bild, Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement
It’s January 14th; do you know where your resolutions are? If you’re like most people, you probably thought about the New Year ahead, pondered and even penned a few new resolutions. While this is important, what matters more is that you get the payoff for your time, energy and effort.
So imagine it’s January 2015 and those resolutions are now a reality in your life- how do you feel? If you like the thought of this then keep reading!
The next step, upon setting resolutions or goals, is to define two to three action steps that will support each goal. For example- if your goal is to sleep better in 2014, three actions could be 1) Shut all electronics off one hour prior to bedtime & calm my mind 2) No caffeine or food after 6 pm 3) Meditative reading just before bed.
These small steps take something difficult, like a good night’s sleep and make it doable. While it might take a couple weeks to get these routines going and to actually follow through, with action you will find that indeed- you are sleeping better!
Small Resolution or Big!
The other thing to consider is size. Don’t make a big deal of big goals. A goal is a goal so treat them the same and give each daily focus. Don’t assume that the big goal is going to be harder, take longer or drain you to accomplish because that’s not true. Keep your focus on taking the daily action steps needed to make that darn goal a reality and watch it happen!
Life is a game of inches- Want support? Sign up for Notes from Your Girl and let me help you stay focused and empowered to make this year different! http://gygb.com/join-the-movement/
Written by Traci Bild, Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement
Having a sick child changes everything.
As a natural product lover I was aware of chemicals in the foods we eat, the products we bring into our homes and those we expose ourselves to each day with our personal care.
But this awareness hit home when my first daughter was born. She suffered from asthma and severe allergies as a baby. Up until that point I was a light shade of green, convincing myself that bleach really was better at cleaning than vinegar.
Suddenly I began to read every label and question every ingredient. I blamed myself: was it something I ate, or did not eat during pregnancy? Whatever the cause, the reality was that I was in the emergency room every few months because my daughter’s croup was so bad she could not breathe.
Fortunately, we identified food allergies that were partially to blame, and as her lungs developed further, her asthma got better. Our last scare was on a cruise ship when she was two years old. Her croup was so bad that she was turning blue and they could not find a doctor. (The reason I will never set foot on a cruise ship again…but that’s another story).
So what happens when baby number two is born just as sick, but instead of croup she gets pneumonia?
You get angry, very angry.
My journey to discovering a better way is not uncommon. Moms move mountains when it comes to protecting their kids, and moms have advocated so strongly against ingredients like BPA that it’s no longer in baby bottles. Yeah, moms!
So life is good. I’ve got the hang of this natural thing, and my girls are growing healthy and strong. I’ll tell you what happens, tween happens.
Tweens = toxic chemicals in pink bottles
Toxic chemicals in pink bottles filled with sulfates, phthalates, parabens and fragrance. Argh! Are you kidding me?
I’ve just spent the last 9 years of my life keeping my daughters away from chemicals, and now brands like Barbie, Bonnie Bell and Hello Kitty want to lure them to the dark side with petrochemicals for their lips and PEG’s in the shower? No Thank You.
So I do what any sane, pissed off mom would do. I start a company devoted to girls.
OK, perhaps it was not really the sane thing to do, but I knew if I was looking for healthy, natural products for my daughters, there had to be other moms just like me.
The reality is crazy. Girls are entering puberty almost two years earlier than in the 1950’s, and 4 years earlier than just a century ago. The average age of menstruation is now a little bit above age 12, with 50% of girls developing breasts almost two years earlier.
The media targets tweens
Not only are girls maturing sooner, but the media ruthlessly targets them with Photo Shop to create false, unattainable images of beauty.
Marketers want a piece of the 51 billion annually spent by 8-12 twelve year olds, and the influence they have over another $170 billion annually spent on them by parents and family.
No wonder there’s an increase in self-esteem issues and body image problems for girls as young as 9 years old.
In 2008 The Environmental Working Group did the first-ever study where they tested the blood and urine of 20 girls age 14 to 19 across the US. They discovered 16 hormone-altering chemicals only found in personal care products and cosmetics.
Don’t get me wrong. I love beauty products. I think they provide an amazing and often overlooked opportunity to talk to your daughter about protecting and taking care of her body.
Girls need hygiene. They need to wash their face and use deodorant, and now they need it even earlier than we did.
Talk to your daughter
Sticking your head in the sand and pretending your little girl isn’t stinky or sprouting blackheads will not solve anything. In fact it will leave her with a ton of questions, confusion and doubt. Frankly if you don’t talk to her, her friends and the Internet will.
Harness your inner girl (I know she’s in there) and talk to your daughter. Make it special. Talk about the amazing and natural changes going on in her body, and how chemicals like phthalates, parabens and fragrance have been linked to hormone development.
Tell her some funny stories about when your body was going through changes. Despite what you think, girls want to hear these stories from you. They need to know these changes are normal. Puberty can be scary at 14 and downright terrifying at age 11.
Introduce her to effective and age appropriate products like Good For You Girls natural skincare; products she will love with natural ingredients you can feel good about.
Teaching your daughter to love and respect her body is one of the best gifts you will ever give her. The earlier you start the conversation, the more she will hear you and take it to heart.
And when you buy her beautiful skincare products, you just might get a few “cool mom!” points. So jump on the hormone wagon and have some fun. You will be so glad you did, and so will your daughter.
About the author:
Kim Grustas , as the founder and owner of Good For You Girls natural skin care for girls, has committed her career to helping girls feel good about themselves while keeping them away from hormone altering chemicals during a crucial time in their bodies development. As a mom of two daughters, she started the line because she could not find any products she felt were safe, effective or age appropriate for her own girls. Kim knows first hand how hard it can be to raise naturally conscious kids. Hygiene is a natural part of growing up so why not show our daughters that the right choices today can mean a healthier future? Find out more at: http://www.GoodForYouGirls.com
Join our Get Your Girl Back movement and find your mojo for a life beyond your wildest dreams! http://gygb.com/join-the-movement/
The theme this month here at Get Your Girl Back is helping our members understand how this movement came about and how you can use it to reinvent your life. Today, the focus is YOU. I want to help you figure out HOW to take better care of yourself, get healthy, find more energy, and feel empowered in knowing you are taking care of you! If you are already doing this, I ask that you chime in and offer feedback, support, and ideas to our members as we are all working together for transformation (on my blog or FB at Get Your Girl Back movement).
The main reason I find people don’t work out is lack of time. In a busy world where there is always something to do, it’s virtually impossible to make it onto that very important to do list. Here is my solution: Create a system- Here is one idea that will change your life.
TWEAK YOUR SCHEDULE
While this sounds really simple, and it is, take control and move your schedule around: When I hit 37 I realized that working out 2-3 days a week wasn’t enough to keep the pounds from piling on. My metabolism slowed down and I discovered upon talking with wiser people, that I was going to have to work out at least 4-5 days per week. Do I like it? No! Will I do it to see the payoff? Yes!
After trial and error with nothing working because I was always busy, I moved my schedule around. I had to make my health a priority, no exceptions. While I used to drop the kids off at 8:15 for school and immediate hit the office by 8:30-9, I blocked off the hours from 8:15-9:30 for me. I let my staff know that I would not be taking calls or responding to emails until 9:30 most days. While I thought this would put me behind and create chaos, I didn’t miss a beat. I actually felt energized, healthy, and inspired after working out and still do today. I’ve been doing this for a year and it works. Clearly if you work for someone it will be more of a challenge so here are some more ideas:
- As your employer if you can come in 1 hour later and skip lunch, eating a fruit shake at your desk instead or packed lunch as you work.
- Or, carve 30 minutes off your lunch hour and stay 30 minutes later.
- Come in an hour later and stay an hour later.
- Allow just 30 minutes for exercise instead of an hour and swap part of your lunch out.
- Ask to come in 30 minutes to an hour later and take the pay cut in exchange for great health.
Crazy right? You may hate these ideas or love them but they are just that- ideas. I don’t always look good at work, due to working out, but I feel great! You can’t find a solution for your life if you don’t start to strategize ideas. Take one of the above and tweak it to fit you. What matters is that you take the time needed to create solutions to make time for your health. Join our movement at http://gygb.com/join-the-movement/ and reinvent not just your health, but your life! Written by Traci Bild, Founder.
My mom bought me a one-person hanging hammock for Christmas this year. My first thought when I opened it was, “Oh, a hammock, thanks.” I also have to admit I was thinking, “When am I ever going to use a hammock?” My husband hung it in our back porch area and since I live in Florida with great weather to be outside, even in “chilly” winter, and was on a break from work I decided to get a book and try it out.
One of my goals this year (and every year,) is to just stop the noise, quiet my mind, and allow me to just be me. It’s very challenging for me as I am a driven career woman with demanding job and a husband and daughter. I travel a lot, juggle many priorities, run my daughter to dance four days a week and try and get the dog out on a walk every day. Quieting my mind is tough.
I have to say one hour in the hammock and I was hooked. It is now my perfect retreat. It’s just for “me.” I now covet my “me” time that has truly allowed me to rest my mind, contemplate, think or not think, read great books (or just fluff magazines) and get inspired by focusing on appreciating everything and everyone in my life. I have my 2014 Goal Sheet out and ready to complete during my next hammock session.
I now schedule hammock time in my day and look forward to my time. It’s just for me. Well, and maybe my dog…
Maybe mother does know best.
To learn more about how you can find yourself and be empowered by women like you, who seek to reinvent their lives, gain more freedom, adventure, passion, and purpose, join our Get Your Girl Back movement now http://gygb.com/join-the-movement/
As the New Year unfolds, millions of people will create New Year’s Resolutions, take the time to write them down, feel good about crossing this annual task off their list and then turn inward and begin to immediately doubt their ability to see those resolutions through. Even as they write, many will be thinking to themselves, “I’m going to do this! But not really.” It’s that tug of war that happens in the brain. “If I tell myself I’m not going to do it and accept that then I won’t be disappointed when it doesn’t happen,” then they think, “Yet just maybe, I’ll get lucky and it will happen if I don’t count on it.” Have these thoughts ever plowed through your mind? If so, you are not alone.
I want to help because this year things can be different. You can set those resolutions and goals and see them become a reality, in turn building confidence in your ability to do what you set out to do. The number one secret to the accomplishment of any goal, dream or resolution, is mindset. You must set your mind to the task of seeing your resolutions through. What I mean is you will have to “fake it till you make it” and believe that it is already done. See yourself a success; consider what it will feel like when you have completed your goal or resolution, trick your mind into believing it’s already done- and your brain will work its tail off to ensure that indeed the tools, resources, and people needed to make your goal a reality; show up.
The mind loves to have a job, it likes to work. It will do exactly what you tell it to do. Consider for a moment, “What do you tell your mind daily?” Are you telling it what you want or don’t want? It is critical that you begin to focus your energy on what it is you want, can do, will have, and more. Give no attention to those things you don’t want. Whether you are thinking I’m crazy right now or making sense, I am telling you the secret that not many people are going to tell or explain to you in simple terms. While there are lots of books out on goal setting, I am an individual who has actually hit 95%+ of the goals I’ve set for myself in life. I’ve come from nothing and created everything in my life I’ve ever dreamed of through this process I’m sharing with you. I’m not taking others ideas and restating them, trying to convince myself that this stuff works or just talking because I want to be popular. I am doing this because I care. I have figured out the secret to making any dream or goal and reality and want you to experience the same.
I’ve traveled all over the world, married the man of my dreams- that I literally dreamed up while riding my pink huffy at the ripe old age of eight! I have two beautiful children, a business I love that has won many awards, bought my dream home, have authored two books, lived in Paris, and more. I tell you this because I’m living proof that anything is possible. I grew up with a single mom who struggled to raise three children. I am the girl people expected little of yet who expected everything of herself. I fought to create the life I live today and will continue to raise the bar, challenge myself, and see what I am capable of. What about you?
Perhaps this year, set a resolution to own your thoughts, to control what happens in your mind and shape your future by thinking your way to the life you always dreamed you would live. Come on, fight!!! To gain support, join our movement at http://gygb.com/join-the-movement/ and begin to change the way you think and the life you live.
Written by Traci Bild, Author and Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement
Whether you set goals for the New Year or not is up to you but before making that final decision, be sure to read this blog.
Some people feel that goal setting is a waste of time, meant to work for the rare few, but never for them. The fact is there is a formula and today; I want to share what it is so that you too can benefit from the power of goal setting and goal hitting in 2014 and beyond.
- Decide: What makes goal setting powerful is that it requires you to sit down and make tough decisions about your life. What is it you really want in the coming year? What makes the goal different from the dream is that you make a concrete decision, write it down with a date, and begin to work toward it. While this seems simple enough, it’s enough to keep people from setting goals because they simply can’t decide what the heck it is they want! So decide!
- Own it: Once you decide, write it down and read what you wrote. As you read it, the goal immediately takes life and something magical happens that I simply can’t explain. Tools, resources, people, ideas and more begin to move toward you at lightning speed. It’s not important that you know how to do what you set out to do but instead that you decide to do it! Everything you need will be provided. Post your goals where you can see them regularly. The more you read them, the faster they take hold in your mind, and subconsciously you begin to take action that you don’t even realize you are taking! Crazy but very true.
- Action: While goals are great, they won’t happen on their own. 50% of the job is writing the goal down. The other 50% is you taking action toward your goals. Below each goal define three action steps that will lead to the arrival of that goal. What steps or actions can you take that will move you just a bit closer? This is a critical step to seeing your goal become reality!
- Prioritize: Before you sign off on your goals for 2014, step back and reflect on them for a moment. Determine if your goals are in line with your priorities, meaning- what matters most in your life. If not, when you hit the goals you won’t feel great but instead empty and as if “Is this all there is?” For goals to bring fulfillment and happiness they must be in line with your priorities and then and only then will everything come together and that fulfillment you have been looking for will become yours!
Whether you have set goals before or not, I challenge you to take this advice and apply it to your life. Get involved with the Get Your Girl Back movement and let us support you. In January we will be working together to create a dream journal that shows big picture for your life and then extracting a set of goals you hope to achieve in 2014 from the journal and working toward them every day. I will share my secrets and tips that have allowed me to do what others say is impossible- To get involved in our January dream journal and goal setting group, simply visit http://gygb.com/join-the-movement/ and join the movement!
Written by Traci Bild, Author and Creator of the Get Your Girl Back movement
My dear friend Delatorro McNeal wrote a book entitled Robbing the Grave of its Greatness. In his book he describes how the graveyard is the richest place on Earth. In it lie unwritten books, unfinished screenplays, song ideas, and half-finished inventions…
When I first read this it stopped me dead in my tracks. I for sure did not want to be one of those people who took my dreams to the grave. I wanted to give life to my dreams, see them manifest, and utilized to make a difference in the world. What about you?
This Holiday season I challenge you to take a good hard look at your dreams. As we approach yet another year, you have the opportunity to take your dream and turn it into a reality. While it might seem easier to just wait and push it off a bit longer, consider the graveyard- how many people thought the same thing? Decide to pursue your dream and to reap the rewards for a job well done; now, while you can.
If there is one thing we can agree on, it’s that life is going fast. I was standing in my kitchen this morning, re-heating my coffee for the third time when a thought hit me. “Someday this will all be gone. My kids will be grown, we will move to a different home, it will be quiet and I’ll be left with my memories.” While great to have, it brought a sting of tears to my eyes instantly. “I don’t want my memories, I want my now!” I thought. So I reaffirmed in my mind that I would welcome this chaos we call family, the noise, the mess, the rush, the to do list and every darn thing that goes with it. I would continue to do everything within my power to give life to this movement, no matter how hard it is and I will savor every splendid moment I can, I would live in the now.
Stop for a moment yourself, look around, and ponder your life. Allow yourself to take it all in, even if for a moment. Then step back and reflect on how short the time is that you have left. I don’t want to depress you but instead inspire you. My goal is to help create urgency in regards to your dreams and goals, no matter what they are. Are you possibly in the prime of your life? What else are you capable of, what dream lives in your heart that is still unfinished? Do you want to bring that dream to life or take it to the grave with you one day? So finish that book of poetry, go after that invention, write your software, take that course, paint the picture…all you have to do is take the first step and keep walking. Let me and the women in our movement support you because you can do it. Visit http://gygb.com/join-the-movement/.
Written by Traci Bild
Author and Creator of the Get Your Girl Back movement