Crime-Scene-Tape

My palms were sweaty as I carefully looked over the evidence. A crime had been committed, heinous- and it was up to me to convey exactly what had happened. My heart beat faster and faster as I realized it was my turn to share what I felt had occurred that night. I looked at my kids who sat quietly beside me trembling in fear. “Okay, it was Mrs. Scarlett, with the lead pipe, in the library.” Paris looked at her evidence and discreetly showed me the lead pipe. Darn! That was not the weapon used. It was Noah’s turn…we were in a heated game of Clue.

When I was a girl, games were a favorite past time. I remember going to my cousin’s and playing them for hours on end…Life, Monopoly, and of course Clue- my favorite! We would throw on pajamas, spread the board games out on the floor, and play until the wee hours of the night. Our screams and laughter would ripple through the house as we assumed the lead or in the case of Monopoly- were sent to jail!

Clearly this is powerful memory because tears are dripping down my cheeks as I write. For a moment I’m there again- in my jammies, reliving those moments and how special they were- Time with cousins, playing games, being a girl and having fun. Yet I have to confess something really embarrassing– I’ve let years of my life go by without playing a single board game. Worse yet, I have kids!

It’s not that we don’t play games in our home but the truth is that I oftentimes just sit and watch as my husband and the kids or Uncle Adam and the kids play games. I’m too busy in the background making dinner, cleaning up the kitchen or doing laundry- so I watch from the sidelines.

In truth, on any of these occasions I could have stopped and jumped in the game. Players always call to me, “Come on Traci, sit down with us and play!” Yet each time I have every damn excuse in the world. Yet the real excuse, the one I didn’t see until recently is that I don’t know how to sit down!  I’m in constant motion, like one of those poor Polar Bears in Alaska who drowns because all the ice has melted and they can’t find a solid piece to rest on while hunting.  Like the bears, I find myself drowning- but by choice.

So as part of my Power of Play Blog Series I made a decision to play. I didn’t explain to anyone what I was doing, I just dug down inside myself and asked my girl to help me- you know, the one who laughed so hard she would pee her pants, who lived to play with her Barbies and couldn’t wait to run out the back door when at my cousins and pick juicy Concorde grapes off the vine and devour them by the dozens (I buy them every season in honor of this memory)!

The good news is I’m no longer drowning. I gave myself a lifeline- through play! It’s changed my life. Last week I wrote my blog about playing dodge ball and if you didn’t read it, you have to now, it’s so fun! I’ve realized that no one can save me but me! Multi-tasking all day, every day and dropping into bed exhausted each night is not how I want to live my life. At the age of 44 my life is half over (quality) and I’m determined to squeeze every ounce of juice out of it that I can.

So here I am- each day I wake up and rather than grab my phone and check email (while anxiety starts to set in), I think, “What fun is on the agenda today?” Yes I still have two companies to run, a household to maintain and kids to care for (and an amazing husband to spend time with) but I’ve re-prioritized my life, put things in perspective and am giving myself permission to play!

I know it may sound crazy and seem impossible to even consider how you can do this in your life, but you can! Here are simple ideas to get you started- when you make breakfast consider making a pot of tea and having a tea party with your kids or OMG by yourself! Yes, you will feel so proper and British…and remember doing this as a girl! Before going to bed at night step outside, lay a blanket on the ground and just look up at the stars.  As you lay there you will drift into a place of wonder, perhaps see a shooting star to wish upon and begin to ask yourself those age old questions…”Is there anyone else out there?” And let yourself ask these questions! Were you so political when you were a girl?

Okay so you get the point. Play. Play. Play. Play! Take each ordinary day and start to make it extraordinary. With each passing day you will get more creative, find more possibility and joy in things you can do to enlighten your life and the lives of those around you. So, here is my wish for you this week. Get your favorite board games out and play them! If you have kids they will be so excited and if you have girlfriends they will be all over it because it’s been far too long for them as well (you will be a hero). In fact, why not have a slumber party? It’s time to stop thinking so much and just do it- have fun!

I love, love, love to hear from you so please post here on my blog (below the post) what your favorite game was when you were a girl or your experiences as you pull that game out again and relive those childhood moments. If you never did play games in your home then it’s time to try something new! Give yourself the gift of a new game. Keep the game out on your kitchen table or in the open where you see it daily- this will encourage you to play more often.  As you play, you will become childlike again and the thoughts of bills, work and that never ending to do list will subside as you experience true joy, connection and laughter with the people across the board.

Written by Traci Bild Founder of the Get Your Girl Back Movement- Putting the Power of Play Back in the Gam ( www.GYGB.com)


 

It’s not often that you try to nail your 8 year old son in the face with a hard rubber ball. But last week, that’s exactly what I did. When I missed, my son Noah taunted me with a little booty dance. “You little stinker” I yelled, “I’m gonna get you”. I quickly grabbed another ball and while staring directly at Noah, fired it at Paris—my 10 year old daughter—slamming her square in the chest. “You’re going down mom”, she shrieked in mock fury. The next ball flew out of my hands and right into my husbands…crap I’m in trouble! He then begins to fire off balls so hard and fast I thought he might put a hole through our garage door. We were all red-faced, sweaty and slightly hysterical. It was awesome.

 dodge ball

Sounds kind of sketchy, I know, but don’t worry, I wasn’t beating my kids.  I was just playing with them . . . a good old fashioned game of dodge ball. You see, I’m tired of sitting it out. Day after I day I watch my kids play — baseball and gymnastics, swinging and jumping on the trampoline – and I sit and watch.  We cart our kids around from one activity to another, they play while we “busily” attend to our to do list, or scroll through Facebook, or just zone out. But I’m sick of it. Call me selfish but I want to have fun too.  And rather than continue to think about it, last week I decided to do something . . . starting with this incredibly fun game of dodge ball.  And guess what, since our first game, we’ve been out there every day playing.

 

I bet when you were a kid, there were things you loved to do, that brought you incredible joy. In most cases, you didn’t even think about what you were doing, you just did it: hula hooping, tea parties, dancing, putting on your mother’s make up and more. Do you remember that feeling of joy that playing brought you? When I was a girl, I loved to jump into my bedroom closet and play spaceship with my brother Todd. “Captain, ready for takeoff!”  Another favorite?  I pretended to be the drummer for the rock band Kiss! My brother, his friends and I, would put on concerts and I swear…I could hear the screams of the crowd, feel the beat of the drums and the adoration of my fans as I rocked out to “I… wanna rock and roll all night!”

 

I love these memories because playing was fun!  So I have an idea for you.  Join me and bring the power of play back into your life. Just because you’re all grown up doesn’t mean you can’t have fun.  Not so sure? Let me inspire you.  Since our first game of dodge ball, I’ve actively been playing every day.  I have to admit, at first it felt a little odd but within a few days, I felt different; freer, lighter, giddier, and my kids were commenting on how much fun they were having too.  What started as an experiment has morphed into a true reconnection with my girl; the one whose life was ruled by giggles, imagination, and adventure . . . As opposed to anxiety, stress and rigid schedules. 

 

The more I play the more I remember who my girl was, what she enjoyed and more importantly, how she felt.  While I love my life and being a “grown up”, I miss the freedom of my youth (When the words guilt, fear, and worry weren’t even in my vocabulary). As I’m learning to play again, and get my girl back, I’m also weaving that feeling of joy into everything else I do. It’s as if a light switch has been turned on and a breath of fresh air has infused my life.

 

So here is your mission: start playing. Do something you used to do as a kid — jump rope or hula hoop instead of going to that dreaded fitness class.  Or if your kids are playing, get in the game and play with them.  If you’re not sure exactly what to do, start by playing a game of dodge ball!

 

Each week, as part of my Power of Play blog series, I will share what I’m doing . . . to fuel ideas for you!  I encourage you to get in the game and give play a try (starting with Dodge Ball this week).  While it was difficult to figure out what to do at first, it’s now easy- because I’m having so much fun and you will too!

 

If you’d like to join in on the fun and get my blog post by email, sign up at http://bit.ly/1j2ol3s.  You can also share your own stories and ideas here on my blog or on my Facebook Fan page at Get Your Girl Back movement. I can’t wait to hear your fun ideas and how it’s impacting your life.

Written by Traci Bild, Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement & expert on Women’s Issues


Our Theme Here at Get Your Girl Back today is EMBRACE!

Incorporate 4 New Habits into Your Weekly Housekeeping Routines

As you work to embrace a new way of living, where fun, laughter and adventure rule, we must talk parenthood and home. The fact is someone has to do the dishes, laundry, grocery shop, cook and more- I imagine in most cases, that means you!

I’ve never really met anyone who loves to cook and clean. In fact, a friend of mine has a sign above the laundry room door that says, “Purgatory” – I think that about sums up laundry, ha! That being said, it has to get done so the question is- how can you embrace it and make these tasks less stressful?

woman juggling fruit

Consider incorporating new habits into old routines? Here are a few to consider:

  • Laundry– Buy detergents that smell wonderful and make pulling the clothes out of the dryer intoxicating. Set a basket up for each family member and as you fold, place the clothes in respective baskets and create a new habit where each family member puts their own clothes away.  Kids as young as six can do this and will take great pride once it’s actually done.
  • Food! Nothing is worse than coming home after a long day of work, sports, and non-stop activity than realizing you have to figure out what to cook for dinner.  Consider a new habit where menus are created over the weekend for the upcoming week. Subscribe to a few magazines and pull delicious fresh recipes that are easy, fast and appeal to you (My favorite is Bon Appetit).
    •  Find five to six menus and create your list by using a good app that organizes items by category (and also ensures that list is always with you).
    •  Get what’s needed for the week (if possible) so you’re not scrambling come Monday over what to cook. Being organized is so important to family meal planning, health and your sanity (Cooking Light also has a great app for meal planning).
  • Cleaning: If you work outside the home full time and can give something up in your budget to make space to fund a housekeeper, do it. I promise- this is the best gift you will ever give yourself.  On a daily basis, create a habit where everyone takes their dishes from the table and puts them in the dishwasher, no exception. Consider the phrase, “Will work for food!” Ask for help. Rather than picking up after your kids, start having them pick up after themselves. While it’s easier to do it for them, they must learn to do it themselves and you are not their maid.  
  • Clutter: Spend 10 minutes a day tackling just one area of your home. Even five minutes can do wonders with this new habit. This week focus on the kitchen and dive in for 10 minutes- Cupboards on Monday, mail basket on Tuesday, pantry on Wednesday, fridge on Thursday, dish cabinets on Friday and so on. Within a week your kitchen will feel “lighter” and you will enjoy being in it. The next week move on to another room in your home. By the end of the month your entire home will be decluttered just in time for you to start all over!

These are just a few ideas to tackle the things you probably do most often. While you will never find these task fun, you can take steps to reduce how much time you spend doing them, in turn adding more hours back to your day to do the things you want to do.

Lastly, focus on gratitude.  I imagine the mother of five living in the Democratic Republic of Congo would give anything to have your washer, a grocery store to buy food from (rather than growing and tending to her own), and a home so big and with so many items it actually gets cluttered! See your life through the eyes of women who are less fortunate and you will see these responsibilities not as drudgery, but as the blessings they really are. 

If you have not yet joined us for our FREE Get Your Girl Back Life Series, jump in! Our classes are every Friday from 12-12:30 with Q & A from 12:30-12:45. You can register at www.GYGB.com and join a movement of women seeking a new way of living- free of stress, anxiety and pressure and full of joy, laughter, and abundance! Please share what you are doing to embrace daunting tasks or make them more fun, on our Facebook page at the Get Your Girl Back movement or here in the comments section of our blog. I love to hear from you!

If you’d like to get the daily blog post by email, sign up at http://bit.ly/1j2ol3s. 

 

Written by Traci Bild, Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement & expert on Women’s Issues


Our topic at Get Your Girl Back today is GROW

Incorporate Play Into Your Day!

pillow fight

You can’t grow by remaining what you are. You have to be open to ideas that will help you create a new way of living. So today’s focus is on fun! Life is so serious and there is always some place to go, something to do, and you will constantly struggle to put yourself on that very important “to do” list. So guess what? I’m going to help make sure you do it!

When you were a girl, I bet you knew how to have fun- from slumber parties to cruising with your friends listening to your favorite tunes, having fun wasn’t something you had to think about doing; it was something you just did! Fun was a way of living.

How much fun have you had these last few years? Could it be time to lighten up, relax your schedule, and incorporate more play into your day? Whether you live alone or are in the throes of raising a family, my challenge to you today is to grow in your ability to have fun.

In our home, fun revolves around the infamous tickle monster (Dave), Friday night dance parties (me), hitting Bush Gardens for some rollercoaster riding fun (the kids and Dave-not me!), jet skiing and tubing, jumping on the trampoline, playing Vet by bathing, blow drying, trimming and brushing our beloved stuffed animals….these are the things that happen in our home on a regular basis and it takes a conscious effort to create fun and keep it alive in our family.

Dave and I also have fun by going on regular date nights- every week it’s either on Wednesday or Sunday, and it’s been that way for ten years. Our fun includes going on long bike rides, hitting the theater, boating, visiting a pub, dancing and more.

I also like to have fun alone- this morning I got up early and went on a bike ride, listened to my favorite music, sang, dreamed, and tended to my soul- it was fun.  l also love and make time to garden, hit my favorite bookstore, read and spend time with girlfriends- all fun.

Since our focus is to grow, in your ability to play more and have fun- I can’t help but wonder. When was the last time you’ve had fun?

This week, think about how you can make each day more fun- Here a few ideas to get you started:

  • When driving, put your cell phone away and blast the music- if you have kids in the car, they will love it!
  • Ride bikes to school with the kids or to work rather than driving.
  • Go on a spontaneous date night (no dinner and a movie- be creative!).
  • Take a bubble bath.
  • When making dinner, light a candle and put on music that inspires you to feel playful.
  • Take your pet to the dog park and play with him.

Small changes to your routine or day can make such a big difference in your life experience in how you feel and in turn respond to those around you.  While life is busy and problems are real, there is no reason you can’t have fun along the way.  Starting today, contemplate your routines and as you go about them, consider how you can add a spark of fun, play or adventure and experience life for what it’s meant to be: Wonderful, delicious, and intoxicatingly fun!

If you have not yet joined us for our FREE Get Your Girl Back Life Series, jump in! Our classes are every Friday from 12-12:30 with Q & A from 12:30-12:45. You can register at www.GYGB.com and join a movement of women seeking a new way of living- free of stress, anxiety and pressure and full of joy, laughter, and abundance! Please share what you are doing to incorporate fun into your day on our Facebook page at the Get Your Girl Back movement or here in the comments section of our blog. I love to hear from you!

If you’d like to get the daily blog post by email, sign up at http://bit.ly/1j2ol3s. 

 

Written by Traci Bild, Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement & expert on Women’s Issues


Today’s Get Your Girl Back Focus is THINK!

A New Response to the Age Old Question, “How Are You?”

As you work to be more mindful in the way you live your life, and literally enter a new way of living, it’s important to THINK before you act and in some cases, before you speak! The reason thinking is so important right now is that you are retraining your brain!

I want to give you one task or trigger for this week so you can see the big impact a small step can make. When someone asks you how you are, respond positively. Here is what most of us typically hear when asking someone the following question: “Hi! How are you?” Typically responses-

  • Busy!
  • Exhausted!
  • Tired!

FINE

When people hear this, they naturally will reflect the same type of response such as “Oh, me too…” and then the entire conversation turns into who is busier, more exhausted, and has it worst. People don’t do this intentionally but it happens, every single day. I believe that what women are actually saying when responding in this capacity is, “HELP ME!” They are looking for a lifeline, support, encouragement, and hope that things might just get easier.

So- give the world a lifeline. I would like the words, “How are you?” to be the Get Your Girl Back trigger  to force immediate change in your mental state. If you’re serious about getting your girl back, you will make every effort possible to respond with the way you want to feel such as:

  • I’m awesome, thanks for asking!
  • I’m great!
  • Blessed!
  • Wonderful!

Whatever word or words suit your style- pick and use them daily. The results will be astounding- you will begin to feel different, people will respond to you in a way you’re not used to, and that is empowering. You will be like a magnet that others want to be around. Happiness is contagious! 

I realize you may not exactly feel the way you are responding yet- but you have to fake it until you make it and retrain your brain to put focus on what it is you want versus what you don’t want. It’s not going to happen overnight but it is going to happen and fast.

One task, one trigger– can you do it? I know you can! Be the change you wish to see in the world. If you have not yet joined us for our FREE Get Your Girl Back Life Series, jump in! Our classes are every Friday from 12-12:30 with Q & A from 12:30-12:45. You can register at www.GYGB.com and join a movement of women seeking a new way of living- free of stress, anxiety and pressure and full of joy, laughter, and abundance! Please share what happens with this trigger question this week on our Facebook page at the Get Your Girl Back movement or her in the comments section of our blog. I love to hear from you!

If you’d like to get the daily blog post by email, sign up at http://bit.ly/1j2ol3s. 

 

Written by Traci Bild, Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement & expert on Women’s Issues


mindset shift

Odds are there is something that is taking up most of your thought space. For one dear mentor, it’s preparing herself for the passing of her mother. How do you actually do that?

For a mother I know, it’s which school to pick for her daughter, who is entering middle school. Does she go to the new engineering magnet or the fundamental where her friends are going? And another, I’ve known most of my life; it’s whether to end a marriage that was supposed to stand the test of time. Does she stay and fight or does she begin a fresh start? Worse yet, there are children involved, a business, and lots of promises. What does she do, how does she decide, and what if she makes the wrong move?

DECIDE HOW YOU’RE GOING TO RESPOND

As you work to get your girl back, which really is about the state of mind you live from on a daily basis, consider the issue you are dealing with today. Big or little, there is no greater asset to help you transition through difficult times than your mind. Here are 3 steps that can help you right now:

1. Decide How You Want to Feel: I once had a coach, Sue Youngs, who I adore and who would say at the beginning of each call, “Decide who you want to be in the matter.” At first I would think, “What does she mean?” Yet after years of working with her and ending each call with this question, I got it. I had to say one word that described how I wanted to be in the matter of my life, in that given week. Some weeks I would say, “Focused,” others “grateful,” and others “energized.” As I pursued my week, this word was to be my focus- and it worked!

     a. Right now, whatever challenge you are facing, decide- How do you want to be in the matter?” For my friend losing her mom, perhaps it’s “Strength or Peace,” both of which would help her find tools to find strength and peace.

     b. For the mother searching school options it might be “Intuitive” meaning, to trust her intuition, to be still and listen for the right answer versus what others are saying. 

     c. For my long-time friend facing divorce, the word might be “Patient,” allowing herself time to work through her emotions and decisions that people are saying need to be made now. Do they really have to happen today? Decades into a marriage, does it have to end in a year? Patience is such a virtue.

2. Program you’re Thoughts: While we are not computers, our minds could power millions. We have so much power between our ears, its mind bogging. Right now, consider “your word.” As you begin to focus on your “word” your mind will find tools, resources, and even attract people into your life that will help you in ways you never imagined. While you will think, “Wow, this is so odd,” remember it’s not odd and it’s not a coincidence, its energy and you are literally making it happen, you are in control of who you want to be in the matter.

3. Give Yourself Credit: As you begin to create a mental shift, realize that you are making this happen. You are in control of your thoughts; you are creating the reality of the moment and know that if you did it today, you can do it again tomorrow and next week, next month and next year.

 Whatever is weighing on your mind, give it to your mind. What you need lies directly within you- so turn within. If you’re reading this post through the daily email and want to become an Ambassador for Get Your Girl Back, where I’ll ask for help from you from time to time, email me at Traci@GYGB.com and I’ll share what we are up to. If you’d like to get the daily blog post by email, sign up at http://gygb.com/category/blog/ and see what we’re working on how it can help you!

 Written by Traci Bild, Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement

<a href=”http://www.hypersmash.com”>HyperSmash</a>

 


angel of grief

My dear friend Delatorro McNeal wrote a book entitled Robbing the Grave of its Greatness. In his book he describes how the graveyard is the richest place on Earth. In it lie unwritten books, unfinished screenplays, song ideas, and half-finished inventions…

When I first read this it stopped me dead in my tracks. I for sure did not want to be one of those people who took my dreams to the grave. I wanted to give life to my dreams, see them manifest, and utilized to make a difference in the world. What about you?

This Holiday season I challenge you to take a good hard look at your dreams. As we approach yet another year, you have the opportunity to take your dream and turn it into a reality. While it might seem easier to just wait and push it off a bit longer, consider the graveyard- how many people thought the same thing? Decide to pursue your dream and to reap the rewards for a job well done; now, while you can.

If there is one thing we can agree on, it’s that life is going fast. I was standing in my kitchen this morning, re-heating my coffee for the third time when a thought hit me. “Someday this will all be gone. My kids will be grown, we will move to a different home, it will be quiet and I’ll be left with my memories.” While great to have, it brought a sting of tears to my eyes instantly. “I don’t want my memories, I want my now!” I thought. So I reaffirmed in my mind that I would welcome this chaos we call family, the noise, the mess, the rush, the to do list and every darn thing that goes with it. I would continue to do everything within my power to give life to this movement, no matter how hard it is and I will savor every splendid moment I can, I would live in the now.

Stop for a moment yourself, look around, and ponder your life. Allow yourself to take it all in, even if for a moment. Then step back and reflect on how short the time is that you have left. I don’t want to depress you but instead inspire you. My goal is to help create urgency in regards to your dreams and goals, no matter what they are. Are you possibly in the prime of your life? What else are you capable of, what dream lives in your heart that is still unfinished? Do you want to bring that dream to life or take it to the grave with you one day? So finish that book of poetry, go after that invention, write your software, take that course, paint the picture…all you have to do is take the first step and keep walking. Let me and the women in our movement support you because you can do it. Visit http://gygb.com/join-the-movement/.

 

Written by Traci Bild

Author and Creator of the Get Your Girl Back movement

 


 

"Kiss Kiss," one of her favorite sayings.

“Kiss Kiss,” one of her favorite sayings.

I’ll never forget the anguish of learning of my mother in law Pat’s breast Cancer. At first it seems surreal, like it wasn’t real or that perhaps it was just a dream I would wake from. Yet that dream turned into a nightmare, and in a matter of two years I lost my beloved mother-in-law to Cancer.

There would be no more gourmet dinners, sounds of the piano pouring out of the music room, or echoes of her woody-wood pecker laugh throughout her home. For years there would be a silence, so palpable and real you could feel it.

Pat knew she had a lump in her breast. Yet having many cysts in the past she ignored it and by the time she went to the doctor that lump had morphed into stage four breast cancer. I imagine it crossed her mind to get the lump checked but she was busy. Like most women Pat had a lot going on in her life. The matriarch of the family she was incessant about taking care of everyone, she had a small business on the side, and lots of friends and hobbies that brought her great joy. That lump- it was there but sadly it never made it onto that very important to do list.

The Get Your Girl Back movement is about giving women permission to take care of themselves. With work, family, volunteer responsibilities, cooking, cleaning, laundry and everything else you do in a day, that self-care rarely happens. I imagine if Pat could do it all over again, she would put herself on the list. She would have gone to the doctor, done more yoga; stopped smoking sooner, exercised more, taken more walks, found pictures in the clouds…if only she had more time.

There is no guarantee how much time we have on this amazing Earth. Whatever you intend to do, do it now- don’t wait. It’s not a coincidence that people who have near death experiences completely transform their lives; it’s a wakeup call and in some rare cases, people are given second chances. My advice to you is to live. Choose to live now, while you can, before it’s too late and your dreams are only wishes that can no longer come true. People need you and if you’re not here, you can’t help them.

So laugh more…I mean a deep, laugh til you cry belly laugh. Dance more, play more, cry more, sing more, take more risk, say what you need to say, write more letters, hold your husband’s had, kiss your children at every opportunity, feel the grass on your feet, play tickle monster, build tents in the living room, and live. Take a moment and think about what you are not doing that you will commit to start doing today. Post it as a comment here on my blog or on my FB page where others can see so you own it! Something happens that is very real when you write things down, particularly for others to see. I read every post and always respond so say it out loud and then do it!

Written by Traci Bild, Author & Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement

*Picture is of my husband David and my mother-in-law Pat, who I write this in tribute to and honor as we all learn the importance of putting ourselves on the list, through her loss.

You can learn more about the Get Your Girl Back movement at www.GYGB.com