The Truth Hurts- Excuses I Made, Opportunities I Missed

(posted today on my Working Mother magazine’s “Walking Zombie” blog)

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Last year while on vacation I repeatedly told myself a big fat lie- At an amazing adventure camp for both kids and parents, I had the opportunity to learn the flying trapeze, to water ski, tube, and more. While I did indulge some, on many occasions I simply opted out. To be honest, I don’t even know why…it was just easier to say, “No thank you, I’m good,” and encourage my kids to participate.

But the truth is, each time Dave or the kids did something really cool like swing from the trapeze, I thought to myself how amazing it would be to give it a try. Yet time after time I just sat and watched.  Looking back, I now realize that much of my resistance was a combination of fear of the unknown, the inability to get outside my comfort zone and pure laziness. It just took too much effort. Each time, after I passed, I would get this terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to dive in and have crazy fun, I did! It was just easier to watch everyone else have it.

We want back to Callaway Gardens again this year. I’m quite certain this is now going to be an annual family tradition. I made a mental decision that this time; I was not going to sit it out. I was going to step out of my comfort zone, face my fears and do all the things I refused to do last year. I also had this gut feeling that my daughter Paris, who is ten, was watching every decision I made. As her mother and mentor, if I wasn’t going to do it for myself, I was going to do it for her.

In the course of one week, I raced Dave on a crazy water obstacle course called aqua island and laughed so hard I almost passed out, water skied, tubed, climbed an 80 foot tree that scared the life out of me and zip lined over a beautiful lake, biked for hours on end, studied garden ideas at an edible garden, learned how to do a backflip on a flying trapeze, caught lightening bugs, and sat alone in an old chapel along a wooded path and pondered my life.

Who do you think had more fun? The stuffy woman who chose to sit it out or the adventurous girl who chose to dive in? The only difference between last year and this year was my mindset. Last year I had no intention, I was just there, on vacation with my family. This year I set out with the intention to have a blast and to do everything that scared and got me out of my comfort zone. This by far was one of the best vacations of my life. While I’ve been to France, Spain, Germany, the BVI and more…this little place in the Georgia mountains stole my heart because it called to the girl in me and beckoned me to play. I am so glad I said yes! I still can’t believe the impact it had on my life.

When is the last time you did something daring, adventurous, and crazy fun? What inhibitions are holding you back from letting the girl inside you come out to play? Whether at work, home or while on vacation, I challenge you to set your intention in regards to how you want to be, what you wish to feel and the experiences you desire to have and then set about creating them. Like me, you may just find it changes your life.

Written by Traci Bild, work-life balance expert and Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement. Follow us on Facebook (Get Your Girl Back movement) for more inspiration and ideas to live a life of adventure, fun and sheer bliss! To download the first chapter of Traci’s forthcoming book, Get Your Girl Back, visit  http://gygb.com/the-book/.

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Girls, don’t let anyone take away your SPARKLE

This message is for your daughter or niece…please pass it on. I’m taking a darn lemon and turning it into lemonade. As I write I am fuming with anger- If you have not yet read my blog, Last Night, I Saw it Before My Eyes, Her Girl Ripped Out of Her Heart & It Broke Mine Into Pieces, stop and read it now.

In response to my own experience of losing my girl and seeing my daughter, begin to start the same process at age 9 and 10, I have decided to dedicate a weekly blog for our daughters, nieces and girls we love who are growing up in a competitive, dog eat dog, complex world. When you receive this blog, be sure to forward to her email, print for her to review at the dinner table, tuck into her back pack or text her to read. I refuse to just sit by and watch the environment in which our girls are raised, without raising my hand and voice, to make a difference. I need your help, please to spread the word and these blogs. Together we can impact little girls lives and of course their mothers through the Get Your Girl Back blog.

This message is specifically for girls, 8-17, who are developing mentally, physically and in confidence and belief in their ability to be somebody. SO GIRLS THIS MESSAGE IS FOR YOU!

1. Don’t Ever Let Anyone Steal Your Sparkle: Odds are you have an amazing spirit, laugh a lot, love to have fun and don’t take yourself too seriously. This is wonderful and you must hold on to this as long as you can. If someone tells you anything along the lines of:

a. You’re not good enough (to be on our team, to enter that competition, to be my friend, etc.); you must stand up for yourself, no matter how hard it is. Here are some examples: You can respond with something like, “I’m sorry you feel that way, but I don’t. In fact, I’m going to …try out for the team, register for the competition today, stick with my friends who get me because clearly you don’t.”

b. Your heart will beat, you will probably need to run into the restroom and cry, but you will feel empowered for standing up for yourself and the person piercing you with cruel words; kid or adult, will think twice about doing it again.

2. Breathe: Sounds silly but take a big, deep breath in…hold it…and let it out slowly. Do this two or three times, if not more. This technique will immediately calm your nerves and help you regain control.

3. Think! Before taking action, due to anger or frustration, really think about what you want to do. In short, don’t act without thinking. Give yourself an hour or even a day to decide what is best for you. We all think better when we are calm.

4. Respond: Take action girlfriend! Do what you know you are capable of because you want to and remember, you don’t need anyone’s permission to be great. God put you on this earth for a reason, so find it, and let your light shine!

 sparkle

Look, while this may be hard to understand, it’s a fact, life is what YOU make it. Bad stuff is going to happen, what matters is how you respond to it. Here are a few cool people to remember when things get tough!

* Albert Einstein didn’t speak until age four and didn’t read until age seven. His teachers labeled him “slow” and “mentally handicapped.” But Einstein just had a different way of thinking. He later won the Nobel Prize in physics.

* Oprah Winfrey was fired from her television reporting job because they told her she wasn’t fit to be on screen. But Winfrey rebounded and became the undisputed queen of television talk shows. She’s also a billionaire.

* Dr. Seuss’ first book was rejected by 27 different publishers. He’s now the most popular children’s book author ever.

No matter what- never, ever, ever, ever give up. Trust in your ability, your natural gifts, talents and abilities, make decisions that are best for you- not those that are cool or going to impress your friends. And remember, your girl, the one with all the sparkle, joy and happiness? She doesn’t want to leave…she wants to stay, play and remain a part of your life so pay attention and keep her close!

 

Written by Traci Bild, Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement & Empowerment Expert

 

 

Last Night, I Saw it Before My Eyes, Her Girl Ripped Out of Her Heart & It Broke Mine Into Pieces

Last night I literally witnessed the loss of a girl. I saw her dissipate before my very eyes and it ripped my heart out. Worse yet, the little girl who was seeing her innocence, passion and purpose in life ripped away- was just ten years old and my daughter, Paris. 

As the founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement, I know what it’s like to lose my girl, trust me; I speak from experience. I can’t begin to describe the feeling of seeing it happen to another person, particularly someone you love- it’s indescribable. While difficult to write about it is my hope that you will become aware of what this movement is really about and be able to help both women and girls understand who their girl is, her power, and how important it is to FIGHT for her at all cost because once you lose her you have to fight like hell to get her back!

There She Goes…

Paris is a competitive gymnast and has been for the past four years (and has been in gymnastics since the age of four). She spends 15 hours a week at the gym, works her tail off and is not what some might call a natural. She has to fight for every win, confront her fears weekly, and work twice as hard at her skills as the girls with natural ability. Yet she pushes through. Paris just ended her competition season and improved at every meet. Excited the season was over, she was just starting to work on new skills, challenge herself and talked every day of the new things she was doing and how empowering it was to grow in her gymnastic levels and move up with the big girls. 

Then six words stole her girl. One of her coaches walked up to her and said, “You’re not going to Optionals ” which is the next level. Paris was stunned.  Told to go practice with the young girls, a level down, she was completely humiliated as her peers stood by and watched. She didn’t know what was going on or why she was being moved. There was no explanation, no curiosity of pulling her aside or talking to her about what was happening.  She walked out of the gym crying like I’ve never seen and struggling to breathe. She said she was sick but I knew something was up. I hugged her and asked if someone said something mean to her. After some prodding she opened up and told me what happened. I’ve never, in ten years, seen Paris cry so hard. She was broken, humiliated, isolated from her friends, and worst of all? She didn’t even know why. 

Paris, finding comfort and unconditional love with Winter.

You Just Lost a Piece of Your Girl

I counseled Paris the best I knew how and then I told her, “Paris, I hate to tell you this but you just lost a part of your girl (she is crazy about this movement but I don’t think really got it until last night). I’m sorry. I wish this didn’t happen but it did and it will happen more often as you get older. What you must do is decide right now who you are, what you are made of and how you will respond.” Let’s be honest, I was dying inside. 

Paris is ten; so far I’ve seen her lose a bit of her girl on two occasions with this being the worse. What blows my mind is how young it starts, and the weapon most often used: Words, cast by others, that steal our confidence and belief in our abilities. 

How old are you? Can you remember when you first began to lose your girl? Did it happen all at once or over time, bit… by bit… by bit? Guess what? It’s time to fight for your girl because she is there inside you waiting to come back.

This movement was created to remind you of your girl, to help you understand who she was and where she went. Together we can prevent any further loss of your girl, as well as help your daughters, nieces, and dear friends keep from losing theirs.  If you are brave, please share on my blog, your memory so we can all better understand, unite, and deal with this loss and then put on our boxing gloves!  I would also love to share in future blogs as examples for our daughters.  On a personal note, if you know me, PLEASE do not mention this experience to your child if a friend of my daughter’s or speak of in front of her. I am using this experience, even though very difficult, to teach and help you and the girls you love. At the end of the day Paris is a superhero- she will put on her armor and fight back, because that is who she is and as a result she will grow stronger. The same holds true for you.  PLEASE WATCH LATER TODAY FOR MY FIRST EVER BLOG, WRITTEN FOR YOUR DAUGHTER OR NIECE. I WILL DEDICATE ONE PER WEEK GOING FORWARD.  If you’d like to get the daily blog post by email, sign up at http://gygb.com/category/blog/. If you’re reading this post through the daily email and want to become an Ambassador for Get Your Girl Back, where I’ll ask for help from you from time to time, email me at Traci@GYGB.com and I’ll share what we are up to. 

Written by Traci Bild, Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement & expert on Women’s Issues

Mom With Twins Makes Pact With Hubby for ONE Night a Week- Script Provided to Make it Happen in Your Home!

Time for You

Written by Guest Contributor Jennifer Ruyle.

With everything going on in our lives it’s so darn easy to overlook carving out time for ourselves, even just for a few hours. Blah Blah Blah. Not quite ladies.  From the moment I had my twins, now eight years old, I made a pact with my husband. One night during the week I would get my own night, and one night a week he would get his own night. Before you start objecting and saying…”well my husband couldn’t handle dinner or the kids need me to do this or that at bedtime or I worked all day won’t get to tuck in little Johnny”…here’s a thought – it’s ONE night.  No one will starve, no one will combust, no one will hate you.  So here’s how it goes.  Tuesdays are my night starting at 6pm when my husband arrives home, grumpy or not. I either go to a yoga class, grab some friends and get dinner, shop a bookstore or sit in my car listening to old 70s tunes. I return about 9pm – definitely after the kids are in their slumber. In turn, my husband chooses his night to go play softball in his very competitive over 40 league.

The key is this ONE night doesn’t negate a date night – which I do know realistically can’t always happen every week. But, unless there is a recital or major illness, my hubby and I have stuck to our ONE night for the past 8 years.  And I believe we are all happier for it.  It’s easy to make excuses, but if you and your husband can’t make this happen, then it’s going to be a long road ahead.  It’s a win-win for both of you so no one should be complaining. It’s a positive change you can make right now. The house may be a mess when you get home, and dinner may not be gourmet those two nights, but who cares.

Common obstacles:

Kids: “You’re going to yoga again this week…”         

YOU: “Yes, the more fit I am, the longer I will live for you.”

Kids: “Don’t leave Mommy, Daddy makes us eat weird food.”      

YOU:  “Mommy needs playdates, too right?”

Husband:  “So what should we do after dinner…”                      

YOU:  “You’re smart. You’ll figure it out. Have fun.”

Husband:  Sheer look of terror as you grab your keys to go.           

YOU:  Ignore or plant a very long kiss on his face. Then give a sultry goodbye.

And if you or your husband can’t think of anything to do on your ONE night, just ask for ideas by posting a comment to the blog post…I have trillions of ideas of how you can spend 2-3 hours enriching your life, YOUR LIFE, too.

If you’re reading this post through the daily email and want to become an Ambassador for Get Your Girl Back, where I’ll ask for help from you from time to time, email me at Traci@GYGB.com and I’ll share what we are up to (we are starting a free 10 week class for our Ambassadors on January 7th so if you have not signed up yet, now is the time). If you’d like to get the daily blog post by email, sign up at http://gygb.com/category/blog/ and see what we’re working on how it can help you!

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Grandmother, Mother, and Daughter, the Generational Shift That Stole Your Girl

TODAY’S FOCUS IS: MANAGE

3 generations of women

When you were in fourth grade, that special year that research shows girls have the most self-confidence, what did you think you would do when you grew up? Come on; think back, do you remember? My daughter Paris is in fifth grade and her thoughts might spark memories. Here are a few of her possibilities; “I want to be a mom, take over mommies companies Get Your Girl Back and Bild & Company, be a school teacher, or maybe a gymnastics teacher…” anything ring a bell? If not, ask your daughter or niece this very important question, “What do you think you will do when you grow up?”

Two Full Time Jobs

I imagine that the answer, “I will work two full time jobs” never got onto that list and the very thought of your daughter or niece doing that terrifies you. Yet the fact is, that is what most women are doing. They start at the crack of dawn, getting kids ready for school, only to head off to a day job that ends at 4 or 5, then head back home for the most important job of all, parenting and wife- the managing of a beautiful family to include cooking, cleaning, tutoring, carpooling, sporting events, laundry, grocery shopping, and more. Normally that job ends around 9 pm when everyone is safely tucked into bed and the last dishes are put away, loose shoes put in the shoe basket, and back packs set by the door. While you may love your life and wouldn’t trade it for anything, the question to ask is “How do you manage it all without losing track of yourself?”

The Generational Divide

Odds are your grandmother didn’t work and if she did boy was she a trailblazer! In most cases, her full time job was the raising of her family and managing of her home. Her daughter, quite possibly your mother, was raised to be like her mom, to be a homemaker. Yet something happened- people started to get divorced and if your mom is anything like mine, these women were unprepared. With little job training or college behind them, they were forced to enter the workforce, work two to three jobs to survive, and in many cases, even marry- not for love but to put a roof over their children’s heads. Life for many of our mothers was not was they expected.

Then there are the women of my generation, those who watched from the side as our mothers struggled to survive, find work, and make a place for themselves in the world.  We became determined- we would not rely on anyone to take care of us, we would work, and provide for ourselves. So off to college we went! Fast forward to today- Women are unprepared- and rightly so! In the span of three generations, women went from one job to two; yet extra hours were not added to the day, we simply have had to learn how to manage it all and the one thing that regularly falls off the list is YOU.

As women who both work at home and outside the home, putting in sixteen hour days, it’s more important than ever to focus on systems that will help you better manage your life.  This is what Get Your Girl Back is all about. Reading these daily blogs will serve as a guide to help you on this wonderful journey called life! My goal today is to help you understand why at times, you might feel like you are going to go crazy and to know that you are not alone. My mom recently got me a sign that reads, “Some call it chaos, we call it family.” I love this sign and so enjoy the chaos- yet in that chaos is order, fun, adventure, and pure bliss. I want to help you learn how to keep all the good, yummy parts of your life and repair those that are broken and not-so good right now. Odds are there is more good than bad so with a little focus you can reignite your passion and create a life by design, not circumstance.

So ponder today’s message, take it in. Then, commit to learn, grow and implement new ideas into your life and if you have a daughter, teach her what you learn so she understands how to keep her girl, front and center- then there will never be a need to get her back!

Written by Traci Bild, Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement

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BIRTH YOUR DREAM- FROM CHAOS TO CLARITY

breck

Take a look at this image as I bring you back in time with me, oh about three years ago. It was here, in Breckenridge, Colorado, that I was walking up and down the quaint city streets in tears. While I was supposed to be skiing, I had taken the day off to write. Instead, I found myself wondering, frustrated, confused and on the phone with my best friend from grade school begging her to help me find clarity. I felt like a mad woman and no matter what I did I couldn’t shut my mind off. I needed an answer and no matter how far I walked, or long I talked, thought or cried, I wasn’t ready to receive it- not yet.

Looking back, as I again walk the streets of Breckenridge, I am in a totally different place. I got my answer, and in turn clarity, purpose, and peace of mind. So what was the question you ask? While it might sound trite, what I needed was the title of my movement and book. I had been writing for close to a decade yet the title eluded me. As a writer, it’s like the bow that goes on top of the package and without it I literally felt lost.

It took another two years but that answer came in the form of Get Your Girl Back. I was on the phone with my amazing writing coach Lisa Tener when she said, “What about Get Your Girl Back?” As soon as I heard it, I knew- that was the perfect title to describe my movement and book. Why did it take so long? Why did it have to be so painful? Yet the fact was, I got my answer, it came when it was supposed to and not a moment before.

While I may make things look easy today, trust me, it’s not. Birthing a dream can literally feel like labor! Consider the fact that I started writing Get Your Girl Back when I was pregnant with Paris. Now she is ten! I tucked the book away and stopped writing for years only to be nudged to pull it back out. One time I literally threw it away and said, “I can’t do this!” until a life coach of mine, Sue Youngs said, “Traci, are you willing to miss your destiny simply because you are afraid to be vulnerable?” I knew in that moment that no matter how hard it was to share the private moments of my life, my personal stories and failures to help others; that I had to pursue my destiny- and NO I was not willing to miss it!

Then came the branding and rebranding, three website redesigns, and regular investments in something that wasn’t even viable or real yet. Of course I would question myself, “What am I doing?” Yet with each fear, insecurity and moment of doubt, I reminded myself of my purpose, passion and ability to do anything I set my mind to. No matter what, I was going to give until there was nothing left to give.

So here I am. I pushed through. While I’m nowhere near the finish line, I successfully launched the Get Your Girl Back movement just six months ago. The movement is on fire, women are engaged, sharing the movement with their friends, sisters, and mothers; all who want to reignite their passion- whether it be for their marriage, health, career, spiritual health, hobby, children, charity or something entirely different- they are revisiting those passions and thinking about how to rekindle them.

Next up? Get ready for a series of life class opportunities where I will show you how to reignite your passion step by step (and it will be for free because I want to help make a difference in your life). We have fun dream journals and other exciting things in store for you! So hang on and take a look at your own dream with fresh eyes. If it were easy, everyone would do it! You have to fight for your dream, and never, ever give up on them! Use my story as an example to follow in your own life. It’s not easy; you will fail, cry, give up and then start over again and again. Yet when the dream begins to manifest, the taste of victory will be worth every moment of energy you gave to birth your dream. So welcome the chaos, its proof that you indeed are alive!

If you’re reading this post through the daily email and want to become an Ambassador for Get Your Girl Back, where I’ll ask for help from you from time to time, email me at Traci@GYGB.com and I’ll share what we are up to. If you’d like to get the daily blog post by email, sign up at http://gygb.com/category/blog/ and see what we’re working on how it can help you!

Written by Traci Bild, Author and Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement

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2 Steps to Defy the Battlefield of the Mind!

This sign sits on my desk and I read it daily, a favorite!

This sign sits on my desk and I read it daily, a favorite!

Posting today from Breckenridge, Colorado! Each year we come up as a family to ski and I find it one of the most challenging things I do all year. The reason I love to ski is because it’s not just physical ability but MENTAL ability too. 

Every day when I come off the lift, I stare down that darn mountain. I literally have to fight for control of my thoughts. What starts as “Are you kidding me, no way!” Becomes, “Bring it on! If these little kids can do it, I can do it. What’s the worse thing that can happen? I’ll fall and boom, I’ll get back up!” Believe me, a fight goes on in my mind but I refuse to let it win. I’m getting down that mountain and having fun!

Can you Relate?

I imagine you can relate to what I’m saying even though you may not be skiing right now! How many times this week did something happen that caused a mental battle in your mind? So much of what we do or don’t do starts with that is going on in our head. Get Your Girl Back is about mindset more than anything else. When you think you can do anything, you can. 

The next time that mental battle starts, whether it’s in regards to finances, health, relationships, career, guilt or something else, get in control. Here is how:

1. Restate your thoughts. When that defeating thought comes to your mind, restate it. For example:

“I look horrible, I’m getting so old!”

Restate: “I feel great, am healthy and in control of my health! It’s good to be alive!”

2. Fake it til you make it: While you might not believe what you say right away, trust me- the more you start to do this, restate your thoughts, the stronger that mental brain muscle becomes. You have to train it to think about what you want, can do and will have and it will respond in kind! 

I know, it sounds really simple right? It is! We are the ones that make life difficult. You must learn to give your brain a job and that job is to support, encourage and believe in you when no one else will! If you going to fight for someone, why not fight for yourself? Starting this moment, pay attention to your thoughts, restate when need be and start to take hold of the power you have over the results in your life!

If you’re reading this post through the daily email and want to become an Ambassador for Get Your Girl Back, where I’ll ask for help from you from time to time, email me at Traci@GYGB.com and I’ll share what we are up to. If you’d like to get the daily blog post by email, sign up at http://gygb.com/category/blog/ and see what we’re working on how it can help you!

 

 

What I Learned From Frontier Airlines- An Angry Mom Speaks Out

frontier

What I learned from Frontier airlines is that everything my mother taught me about manners, as a child growing up, was spot on.  Let’s start with the golden rule: Treat others as you would expect them to treat you.

Here is what I learned today: Frontier is a service business- I was blown away that they would violate the golden rule over and over in my experience with them today. Trust me; I will share in detail what occurred.  All I could think as I traveled was, “Has service in the airline sector gotten so horrible that they simply don’t give a crap?” Jokes used to be made about used car salesmen. In my opinion, they are now the heroes; they help people get into cars with no credit and little money. Airlines, they’ve become worse than any used car salesman I’ve ever met and to me that’s tragic.

From Fun to Run!

So here’s what happened. We woke up this morning excited; our family was heading out to Breckenridge for our annual family ski trip. Keep in mind that I’ve traveled for over twenty years as a professional speaker and my husband is an airline Captain for AirTran, soon to be Southwest. My kids have traveled to Paris several times as well as throughout the great USA. We are traveled people so we know the highs and lows of airline travel. Yet today broke my spirit. It took everything in me not to cry in front of my kids. What’s worse is that I wasn’t mad, I was disappointed. So much that it tore at my heart. Can’t we do better than this?

  1. Don’t You Have an Extra Couple Hundred Dollars? Our flight was scheduled to leave at 9:50 am per our itinerary that we checked ten times. I attempted to check in online the night prior and the first upset came when I saw that I wasn’t just going to pay $25-$30 per checked in bag but also $25-$30 per CARRY ON Bag (unless a briefcase type). I’m thinking, okay, I’ve got Paris and Noah’s two carryon bags with their beloved stuffed animals, which travel all over the world with us. Hmmm…don’t think I can check them so that’s $100 and then my bag is another $30. So we are looking at $130 EACH way simply for carry ons (unless I check the animals and risk losing their most treasured possessions to include baby blankies). I also had two large bags with all our ski clothes so that is another $50-$60 and ONLY if I pay for everything the night before. If I dare wait because I’m totally perplexed on the carryon bag charge, then I will be charged up to $50 PER BAG FOR BOTH CARRY ON AND CHECKED. Hmmm.  Now I’m looking at a possible $250 for bags EACH WAY for a total of $500 for my wonderful luggage because the fact is, I will need to change my clothes at some point. Really? Just put the real price of the ticket instead of TRICKING us into a ticket and then killing us with extras. All I could think of were the people who would be stuck at the airport, not knowing about all these fees, and trying to figure out how to pay for it. I’m fortunate enough that while I can afford it, its plain wrong and deceiving.
  2. Read the fine print: Apparently if you buy your ticket on the Frontier website or some other odd place you avoid all these fees (does anyone buy tickets direct from airline websites?).
  3. Sorry! Oh, forgot to mention that after all this upset, trying to figure out fees, and putting in my credit card twice, I was told they could not check me in online and that I had to go to the airport desk.
  4. Change of Plans! Didn’t You Get the Memo? As we leisurely headed to the airport with time to spare, and a grand plan to get something to eat, we get to the gate and are told we are going to MISS OUR FLIGHT! What? Oh, they forgot to tell us that the flight was moved up from 9:50 to 9:15, didn’t I get the telepathic memo? No worries, I can do this! I’ve got global entry and we can zip right to the front of the security line, or so we think. Wrong! It’s airline travel, right?
  5. Bummer! We pay our $130+ dollars (no time to look) for checked and carryon bags, run to security and am told that I can’t use the global entry, not on the boarding pass even though, I’m holding the prized card in my hand. Remain calm…
  6. Ha! Just Kidding! We get through security, run to the gate, and as we get to the door are told we HAVE TO CHECK OUR BAGS! What? Didn’t I just pay $100 (I confirmed that there was indeed space and assured there would be room)?  Sorry! My kids start to cry, although silently, and I do too but just inside because I’m mom right, need to strong in this moment (and I’ll use my pen later to get it out as I’m doing now!). The kids grab their favorite animal and I promise nothing will happen to their dear friends in the belly of the plane, they are safe (not so sure the way this is going, there could be a gremlin down there).  By the way, I had the gate agent come back in and give me her name as I asked for a refund on the bags but imagine that won’t happen without some hard follow up work with long wait times. Trust me; I’m following up on that supposed “credit.”
  7. Hungry? Got Credit? As we sit down, I realize I have two kids and I included who have not eaten; we have no water and a four hour flight. I look and “Yeah!” they have items but for a price. Isn’t it basic courteously to offer your guest a drink? Not on Frontier! You can have a drink but for a price! Again, just rude. No problem- I whip out my Am X platinum that I’m burning up today anyway and pay $14.99, to be exact, for food and drinks.  
  8. Yeah, we are on the flight, have food and drink, and guess what, there are even televisions, which as a parent is a Godsend on a plane. Could it be free, like on Jet Blue? Of course not, it’s yours for $5.99 EACH.

Did I really need to get my bags on the plane, have something to drink, food to eat, and entertainment for this trip to Colorado? No, it’s not a human need, it’s a want. Yet in a service industry, I expect more. I expect an honest business transaction. Give me the real price for my ticket when I buy it, don’t trick me into buying “the lowest fare” and then kill me with extreme fees that would literally break the bank for many families as they head off on a much needed vacation. Its plain wrong.

I do fly AirTran and Southwest often and am grateful my husband flies for them and not Frontier. AirTran’s business class rocks and Southwest always makes me laugh. There is still hope yet but may this be a warning to them NOT to follow in the footsteps of airlines like Frontier. People like me will stand up, shout from the rooftops and make sure that people are aware of the misleading purchase of tickets. So let this be your warning. If you buy Frontier, read the fine print and make sure you buy the ticket on their website or be prepared to spend your vacation money on airline fees.

So thanks mom for teaching me to know when a wrong is being done and to stand up for myself and others. I listened, learned and hope that others will benefit from this information in this blog!

If you’re reading this post through the daily email and want to become an Ambassador for Get Your Girl Back, where I’ll ask for help from you from time to time, email me at Traci@GYGB.com and I’ll share what we are up to. If you’d like to get the daily blog post by email, sign up at http://gygb.com/category/blog/ and see what we’re working on how it can help you!

Written by Traci Bild, Author and Founder of, the Get Your Girl Back

<a href=”http://www.hypersmash.com”>Hypersmash.com</a>

Toxic Chemicals in Pink Bottles – An Angry Mom Speaks Out By Guest Blogger Kimberly Grustas

kimberly grustas

Having a sick child changes everything. 

As a natural product lover I was aware of chemicals in the foods we eat, the products we bring into our homes and those we expose ourselves to each day with our personal care. 

But this awareness hit home when my first daughter was born. She suffered from asthma and severe allergies as a baby. Up until that point I was a light shade of green, convincing myself that bleach really was better at cleaning than vinegar. 

Suddenly I began to read every label and question every ingredient. I blamed myself: was it something I ate, or did not eat during pregnancy? Whatever the cause, the reality was that I was in the emergency room every few months because my daughter’s croup was so bad she could not breathe. 

Fortunately, we identified food allergies that were partially to blame, and as her lungs developed further, her asthma got better. Our last scare was on a cruise ship when she was two years old. Her croup was so bad that she was turning blue and they could not find a doctor.  (The reason I will never set foot on a cruise ship again…but that’s another story).

So what happens when baby number two is born just as sick, but instead of croup she gets pneumonia?

You get angry, very angry. 

My journey to discovering a better way is not uncommon. Moms move mountains when it comes to protecting their kids, and moms have advocated so strongly against ingredients like BPA that it’s no longer in baby bottles. Yeah, moms! 

So life is good. I’ve got the hang of this natural thing, and my girls are growing healthy and strong. I’ll tell you what happens, tween happens. 

Tweens = toxic chemicals in pink bottles 

Toxic chemicals in pink bottles filled with sulfates, phthalates, parabens and fragrance. Argh! Are you kidding me? 

I’ve just spent the last 9 years of my life keeping my daughters away from chemicals, and now brands like Barbie, Bonnie Bell and Hello Kitty want to lure them to the dark side with petrochemicals for their lips and PEG’s in the shower? No Thank You.    

So I do what any sane, pissed off mom would do. I start a company devoted to girls. 

OK, perhaps it was not really the sane thing to do, but I knew if I was looking for healthy, natural products for my daughters, there had to be other moms just like me.  

The reality is crazy. Girls are entering puberty almost two years earlier than in the 1950’s, and 4 years earlier than just a century ago. The average age of menstruation is now a little bit above age 12, with 50% of girls developing breasts almost two years earlier.

The media targets tweens

Not only are girls maturing sooner, but the media ruthlessly targets them with Photo Shop to create false, unattainable images of beauty.

Marketers want a piece of the 51 billion annually spent by 8-12 twelve year olds, and the influence they have over another $170 billion annually spent on them by parents and family.

No wonder there’s an increase in self-esteem issues and body image problems for girls as young as 9 years old.

In 2008 The Environmental Working Group did the first-ever study where they tested the blood and urine of 20 girls age 14 to 19 across the US. They discovered 16 hormone-altering chemicals only found in personal care products and cosmetics.  

Don’t get me wrong. I love beauty products. I think they provide an amazing and often overlooked opportunity to talk to your daughter about protecting and taking care of her body.

Girls need hygiene. They need to wash their face and use deodorant, and now they need it even earlier than we did.

Talk to your daughter

Sticking your head in the sand and pretending your little girl isn’t stinky or sprouting blackheads will not solve anything. In fact it will leave her with a ton of questions, confusion and doubt. Frankly if you don’t talk to her, her friends and the Internet will.  

Harness your inner girl (I know she’s in there) and talk to your daughter. Make it special. Talk about the amazing and natural changes going on in her body, and how chemicals like phthalates, parabens and fragrance have been linked to hormone development. 

Tell her some funny stories about when your body was going through changes. Despite what you think, girls want to hear these stories from you. They need to know these changes are normal. Puberty can be scary at 14 and downright terrifying at age 11.

Introduce her to effective and age appropriate products like Good For You Girls natural skincare; products she will love with natural ingredients you can feel good about.

Teaching your daughter to love and respect her body is one of the best gifts you will ever give her. The earlier you start the conversation, the more she will hear you and take it to heart. 

And when you buy her beautiful skincare products, you just might get a few “cool mom!” points. So jump on the hormone wagon and have some fun. You will be so glad you did, and so will your daughter.

About the author:

Kim Grustas , as the founder and owner of Good For You Girls natural skin care for girls, has committed her career to helping girls feel good about themselves while keeping them away from hormone altering chemicals during a crucial time in their bodies development. As a mom of two daughters, she started the line because she could not find any products she felt were safe, effective or age appropriate for her own girls. Kim knows first hand how hard it can be to raise naturally conscious kids. Hygiene is a natural part of growing up so why not show our daughters that the right choices today can mean a healthier future? Find out more at: http://www.GoodForYouGirls.com 

Join our Get Your Girl Back movement and find your mojo for a life beyond your wildest dreams! http://gygb.com/join-the-movement/

 

My Cancer Experience & Lesson Learned Loud & Clear

 

"Kiss Kiss," one of her favorite sayings.

“Kiss Kiss,” one of her favorite sayings.

I’ll never forget the anguish of learning of my mother in law Pat’s breast Cancer. At first it seems surreal, like it wasn’t real or that perhaps it was just a dream I would wake from. Yet that dream turned into a nightmare, and in a matter of two years I lost my beloved mother-in-law to Cancer.

There would be no more gourmet dinners, sounds of the piano pouring out of the music room, or echoes of her woody-wood pecker laugh throughout her home. For years there would be a silence, so palpable and real you could feel it.

Pat knew she had a lump in her breast. Yet having many cysts in the past she ignored it and by the time she went to the doctor that lump had morphed into stage four breast cancer. I imagine it crossed her mind to get the lump checked but she was busy. Like most women Pat had a lot going on in her life. The matriarch of the family she was incessant about taking care of everyone, she had a small business on the side, and lots of friends and hobbies that brought her great joy. That lump- it was there but sadly it never made it onto that very important to do list.

The Get Your Girl Back movement is about giving women permission to take care of themselves. With work, family, volunteer responsibilities, cooking, cleaning, laundry and everything else you do in a day, that self-care rarely happens. I imagine if Pat could do it all over again, she would put herself on the list. She would have gone to the doctor, done more yoga; stopped smoking sooner, exercised more, taken more walks, found pictures in the clouds…if only she had more time.

There is no guarantee how much time we have on this amazing Earth. Whatever you intend to do, do it now- don’t wait. It’s not a coincidence that people who have near death experiences completely transform their lives; it’s a wakeup call and in some rare cases, people are given second chances. My advice to you is to live. Choose to live now, while you can, before it’s too late and your dreams are only wishes that can no longer come true. People need you and if you’re not here, you can’t help them.

So laugh more…I mean a deep, laugh til you cry belly laugh. Dance more, play more, cry more, sing more, take more risk, say what you need to say, write more letters, hold your husband’s had, kiss your children at every opportunity, feel the grass on your feet, play tickle monster, build tents in the living room, and live. Take a moment and think about what you are not doing that you will commit to start doing today. Post it as a comment here on my blog or on my FB page where others can see so you own it! Something happens that is very real when you write things down, particularly for others to see. I read every post and always respond so say it out loud and then do it!

Written by Traci Bild, Author & Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement

*Picture is of my husband David and my mother-in-law Pat, who I write this in tribute to and honor as we all learn the importance of putting ourselves on the list, through her loss.

You can learn more about the Get Your Girl Back movement at www.GYGB.com