Time for You

Written by Guest Contributor Jennifer Ruyle.

With everything going on in our lives it’s so darn easy to overlook carving out time for ourselves, even just for a few hours. Blah Blah Blah. Not quite ladies.  From the moment I had my twins, now eight years old, I made a pact with my husband. One night during the week I would get my own night, and one night a week he would get his own night. Before you start objecting and saying…”well my husband couldn’t handle dinner or the kids need me to do this or that at bedtime or I worked all day won’t get to tuck in little Johnny”…here’s a thought – it’s ONE night.  No one will starve, no one will combust, no one will hate you.  So here’s how it goes.  Tuesdays are my night starting at 6pm when my husband arrives home, grumpy or not. I either go to a yoga class, grab some friends and get dinner, shop a bookstore or sit in my car listening to old 70s tunes. I return about 9pm – definitely after the kids are in their slumber. In turn, my husband chooses his night to go play softball in his very competitive over 40 league.

The key is this ONE night doesn’t negate a date night – which I do know realistically can’t always happen every week. But, unless there is a recital or major illness, my hubby and I have stuck to our ONE night for the past 8 years.  And I believe we are all happier for it.  It’s easy to make excuses, but if you and your husband can’t make this happen, then it’s going to be a long road ahead.  It’s a win-win for both of you so no one should be complaining. It’s a positive change you can make right now. The house may be a mess when you get home, and dinner may not be gourmet those two nights, but who cares.

Common obstacles:

Kids: “You’re going to yoga again this week…”         

YOU: “Yes, the more fit I am, the longer I will live for you.”

Kids: “Don’t leave Mommy, Daddy makes us eat weird food.”      

YOU:  “Mommy needs playdates, too right?”

Husband:  “So what should we do after dinner…”                      

YOU:  “You’re smart. You’ll figure it out. Have fun.”

Husband:  Sheer look of terror as you grab your keys to go.           

YOU:  Ignore or plant a very long kiss on his face. Then give a sultry goodbye.

And if you or your husband can’t think of anything to do on your ONE night, just ask for ideas by posting a comment to the blog post…I have trillions of ideas of how you can spend 2-3 hours enriching your life, YOUR LIFE, too.

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