Grandmother, Mother, and Daughter, the Generational Shift That Stole Your Girl

TODAY’S FOCUS IS: MANAGE

3 generations of women

When you were in fourth grade, that special year that research shows girls have the most self-confidence, what did you think you would do when you grew up? Come on; think back, do you remember? My daughter Paris is in fifth grade and her thoughts might spark memories. Here are a few of her possibilities; “I want to be a mom, take over mommies companies Get Your Girl Back and Bild & Company, be a school teacher, or maybe a gymnastics teacher…” anything ring a bell? If not, ask your daughter or niece this very important question, “What do you think you will do when you grow up?”

Two Full Time Jobs

I imagine that the answer, “I will work two full time jobs” never got onto that list and the very thought of your daughter or niece doing that terrifies you. Yet the fact is, that is what most women are doing. They start at the crack of dawn, getting kids ready for school, only to head off to a day job that ends at 4 or 5, then head back home for the most important job of all, parenting and wife- the managing of a beautiful family to include cooking, cleaning, tutoring, carpooling, sporting events, laundry, grocery shopping, and more. Normally that job ends around 9 pm when everyone is safely tucked into bed and the last dishes are put away, loose shoes put in the shoe basket, and back packs set by the door. While you may love your life and wouldn’t trade it for anything, the question to ask is “How do you manage it all without losing track of yourself?”

The Generational Divide

Odds are your grandmother didn’t work and if she did boy was she a trailblazer! In most cases, her full time job was the raising of her family and managing of her home. Her daughter, quite possibly your mother, was raised to be like her mom, to be a homemaker. Yet something happened- people started to get divorced and if your mom is anything like mine, these women were unprepared. With little job training or college behind them, they were forced to enter the workforce, work two to three jobs to survive, and in many cases, even marry- not for love but to put a roof over their children’s heads. Life for many of our mothers was not was they expected.

Then there are the women of my generation, those who watched from the side as our mothers struggled to survive, find work, and make a place for themselves in the world.  We became determined- we would not rely on anyone to take care of us, we would work, and provide for ourselves. So off to college we went! Fast forward to today- Women are unprepared- and rightly so! In the span of three generations, women went from one job to two; yet extra hours were not added to the day, we simply have had to learn how to manage it all and the one thing that regularly falls off the list is YOU.

As women who both work at home and outside the home, putting in sixteen hour days, it’s more important than ever to focus on systems that will help you better manage your life.  This is what Get Your Girl Back is all about. Reading these daily blogs will serve as a guide to help you on this wonderful journey called life! My goal today is to help you understand why at times, you might feel like you are going to go crazy and to know that you are not alone. My mom recently got me a sign that reads, “Some call it chaos, we call it family.” I love this sign and so enjoy the chaos- yet in that chaos is order, fun, adventure, and pure bliss. I want to help you learn how to keep all the good, yummy parts of your life and repair those that are broken and not-so good right now. Odds are there is more good than bad so with a little focus you can reignite your passion and create a life by design, not circumstance.

So ponder today’s message, take it in. Then, commit to learn, grow and implement new ideas into your life and if you have a daughter, teach her what you learn so she understands how to keep her girl, front and center- then there will never be a need to get her back!

Written by Traci Bild, Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement

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What’s On Your Mind? 3 Steps To Decide How You’re Going To Respond.

mindset shift

Odds are there is something that is taking up most of your thought space. For one dear mentor, it’s preparing herself for the passing of her mother. How do you actually do that?

For a mother I know, it’s which school to pick for her daughter, who is entering middle school. Does she go to the new engineering magnet or the fundamental where her friends are going? And another, I’ve known most of my life; it’s whether to end a marriage that was supposed to stand the test of time. Does she stay and fight or does she begin a fresh start? Worse yet, there are children involved, a business, and lots of promises. What does she do, how does she decide, and what if she makes the wrong move?

DECIDE HOW YOU’RE GOING TO RESPOND

As you work to get your girl back, which really is about the state of mind you live from on a daily basis, consider the issue you are dealing with today. Big or little, there is no greater asset to help you transition through difficult times than your mind. Here are 3 steps that can help you right now:

1. Decide How You Want to Feel: I once had a coach, Sue Youngs, who I adore and who would say at the beginning of each call, “Decide who you want to be in the matter.” At first I would think, “What does she mean?” Yet after years of working with her and ending each call with this question, I got it. I had to say one word that described how I wanted to be in the matter of my life, in that given week. Some weeks I would say, “Focused,” others “grateful,” and others “energized.” As I pursued my week, this word was to be my focus- and it worked!

     a. Right now, whatever challenge you are facing, decide- How do you want to be in the matter?” For my friend losing her mom, perhaps it’s “Strength or Peace,” both of which would help her find tools to find strength and peace.

     b. For the mother searching school options it might be “Intuitive” meaning, to trust her intuition, to be still and listen for the right answer versus what others are saying. 

     c. For my long-time friend facing divorce, the word might be “Patient,” allowing herself time to work through her emotions and decisions that people are saying need to be made now. Do they really have to happen today? Decades into a marriage, does it have to end in a year? Patience is such a virtue.

2. Program you’re Thoughts: While we are not computers, our minds could power millions. We have so much power between our ears, its mind bogging. Right now, consider “your word.” As you begin to focus on your “word” your mind will find tools, resources, and even attract people into your life that will help you in ways you never imagined. While you will think, “Wow, this is so odd,” remember it’s not odd and it’s not a coincidence, its energy and you are literally making it happen, you are in control of who you want to be in the matter.

3. Give Yourself Credit: As you begin to create a mental shift, realize that you are making this happen. You are in control of your thoughts; you are creating the reality of the moment and know that if you did it today, you can do it again tomorrow and next week, next month and next year.

 Whatever is weighing on your mind, give it to your mind. What you need lies directly within you- so turn within. If you’re reading this post through the daily email and want to become an Ambassador for Get Your Girl Back, where I’ll ask for help from you from time to time, email me at Traci@GYGB.com and I’ll share what we are up to. If you’d like to get the daily blog post by email, sign up at http://gygb.com/category/blog/ and see what we’re working on how it can help you!

 Written by Traci Bild, Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement

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