It’s take your kid to work day so I asked Paris to write a blog for all of you. I cried when I read it- good advice. 

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Hello my name is Paris Bild I’m Traci Bild’s daughter. My mom has been working on this book Get Your Girl Back for 10 years now or since I was a baby & I’m almost 11. I hope that all you folks follow what you want to do even if it’s an outrageous dream. Don’t forget to be who you are & not who other people want you to be. Maybe you could try something different or just relax for one day. Stop thinking about work & be a girl again wear fun pj’s have fun parties; maybe you should get some pointers from a kid somewhere else. Don’t forget to be yourself & have some more girl time not work time.

By: Paris Bild


BLOG FOR GIRLS AGED 8-17

Portrait of four smiling teenage girls outside

THIS VALENTINE’S DAY… 3 TIPS TO KEEP IT REAL; JUST BETWEEN US GIRLS (mom, lessons for you in here too!)

Everywhere you look there are boxes of chocolate, red roses, greeting cards, and images of love. For girls, this can be a really confusing time.  Sure, everything is great if you’re in love… and things are going well. Yet if you’re alone or feeling as if you are the only girl without a Valentine, this can be a crappy time of year. Today’s message is for girls, 8-17, and their mothers, aunties and friends who wish to share this message as well as a little bonding time talking about the age old topic of love.

Enter Twilight…

I’ll never forget the day I saw my niece Kayla, who was in high school at the time, carrying around a huge book. “What’s that book about?” I asked.  I couldn’t imagine a kid reading a book over 300 pages since the Harry Potter series- seriously, it had to be good. She told me the name was Twilight so I immediately went out and bought it. I had never heard of the book and it wasn’t all the rage (yet) as I had never even heard of it.  Yet I was so curious due to the sheer size of the book and thought, “I’m going to check it out.” So I purchased myself a copy.

Oh my! I had no idea what I was about to get into. Odds are you have read Twilight yourself.  I was completely consumed by this book (I’m a hopeless romantic okay?). I told my mom about it and she too became entrapped by the pages of Twilight. What blew my mind was that three generations of women, all from different times, felt completely taken by this book- And thus is the lure and draw of love. All of us could relate.

After finishing Twilight and hearing about it everywhere, literally- I asked Kayla how she liked the book. Her response was completely different than mine or her grandmas. It seemed that the author had this amazing ability to pull us all into the book, as if we were there, experiencing FIRST love all over again- it was intoxicating. Yet for Kayla, who had never been in love, it didn’t resonate the same. She had never experienced her first love so she couldn’t possibly miss it! Ha!

First love…

So here we are, back to the topic at hand- love. For girls, love can be confusing, right? If you’ve never been in love, how do you know when you are in love and how do you know its real love and not just infatuation? 

I can’t answer that question exactly because in truth, it’s something you will simply know. But- to know for sure, love needs time to grow. Our society is so quick to pressure young girls to grow up fast- get a cell phone, post on social media, watch music videos with pathetic role models like Miley Cyrus, be uber skinny, pick your college major- in 9th grade (if not sooner)…where does it end?

If you are a girl, trust me, you will be grown up soon enough so don’t rush it- especially when it comes to true love. So here are a few tips about dating or falling in love:

  1. Demand Respect: If you are of the age that you are starting to date, whether it’s meeting at the roller rink or movies, or going on full blown “I’ll pick you up at 6” dates, it’s really important that the boy you date, whether once or more, respects you. This means that he listens to your opinion, as well as respects them- whether it’s the movie you want to see or your stance of the rules of dating that you hold dear. He must look you in the eye when talking and “call me old fashioned”, but he should open the door for you and treat you like the lady you are. If something feels “off” emotionally and you feel like you want to cry or like a knife just went through your heart due to something he said that wasn’t appropriate, politely work to end the date early, call your parents, and or make it a point to not date this boy again.

 

  1. Give it time: Everything is always so exciting in the beginning. Trust me, even your mom and dad probably thought they would die if they didn’t see each other for a day when they started dating. While you may feel like picking up the phone and making that call every hour or so- texting, posting messages on his facebook and more- resist the temptation and leave room for some mystery. He should wonder where you are, what you are doing, and why you are not falling all over him. I know its soooo hard but you don’t want to appear desperate. Also, if you start to feel pressured, as if the boy you are dating or pursing is trying to rush things that you know are not appropriate, trust your gut and remove yourself from the situation as quickly as possible.

 

 

  1. Trust your instinct: This is the most important thing I want to say to you. All of us have this little voice inside, called our instinct. Sadly, we don’t learn to really use or trust it until we are all grown up. The biggest challenge for girls in trusting their instinct is that your instinct or gut feeling normally goes against the very thing you want to do! So- while you are thinking, “Yes, this is right!” your gut is saying, “No, I don’t like this, it just doesn’t feel right.” I know it’s hard but I can’t tell you enough how important it is to start listening to your instinct and to trust it. Amazingly enough, that internal voice is part of your DNA, an animal instinct of sorts- you must listen to it because rarely is it wrong. If your gut says, “Leave this situation now,” just do it- even if having fun. You have this internal messaging system for a reason so learn to use it as it can literally save your life.

In closing…

Ah love- there is nothing like it, you can’t fight it, and you won’t ever fully understand it. It’s an amazing feeling that you will only experience once or twice in your lifetime so take your time and don’t rush it. If you have questions, ask your mom, auntie or person who shared this with you. You can also reach out to me at Traci@GYGB.com.

If you’d like to get the daily blog post by email, sign up at http://bit.ly/1j2ol3s.  If you’re reading this post through the daily email and want to become an Ambassador for Get Your Girl Back, where I’ll ask for help from you from time to time, email me at Traci@GYGB.com and I’ll share what we are up to. Moms and aunties- Join our 10 Week Life Class Series starting Friday February 14th from 12-12:30 pm ET! Sign up now for free at https://gygb.com/life-series/

 

Written by Traci Bild, Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement

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[Occasionally I will post blog entries directed to young girls between the ages of 8-17 so that we can help our young woman never lose Their Girl.  Please print this out and share with your daughter, niece, or young girl you’re mentoring.  Let this be a special time to connect with them!]

As a young girl, it’s not always easy to know your place in the world. Looking around, it probably seems that everyone has it so easy- but you. Your friends are gifted and smart, great at their sport, pretty, popular, and have the best of everything; from smart phones to clothes. While all you want to do is fit in, it seems that you move further and further from that goal. “When are things going to get better?”

Portrait of four smiling teenage girls outside

A Secret

I would like to let you in on a secret. You are not alone. Not only do your friends feel the same way, even those who seem to have it all, your mom probably experiences similar feelings too! It is in our nature to look at other people and measure ourselves against them- Who they are, what they have, how you compare and so on. What you must do is change your focus. Rather than focus on what you don’t have, begin to focus on what you do have. Every person has a set of talents and gifts they are born with, including YOU! While you may not think so it’s true, you simply have to find them.

You’re Gifts

Start to look within and think about what you are good at, what comes natural to you and what others say you do so well…that literally is hard for them but comes natural to you. Does anything come to mind right now? If you are immediately thinking of your friends and what they do great, stop it! Look within…you are amazing too. My daughter Paris is ten and we’ve discovered that her natural gifts are for music, foreign language, and advocating for others. Who would have ever thought that? While it’s not exciting for her today and feels like work versus fun, it’s what she was born to do! When she is 15, 18, 20, and beyond, these gifts have the opportunity to change her life. So think about you own life…is your gift writing, baking, ballet or drawing? Look around your room…clues lie everywhere! What do you see? Odds are you are drawn to something on a regular basis- that speaks to you, and makes you feel calm, inspired or excited. Ask your mom, dad, grandma, or teacher this question, “Is there anything you’ve noticed that I’m really good at and that could be a natural talent for me?” (Note- only ask people who really love and support you this question).

Be Patient

It might take some time to discover your natural talent or gift but I promise it is there inside of you. You are special and YOU were meant for something great! Work to find that gift, be proud of it, invest time in cultivating it and give yourself credit where it is deserved. Spend less time comparing and beating yourself up and more time laughing, dreaming, playing, singing, and dancing! You are a kid so be one because you will be grown up soon enough.

For now, I want to encourage you to begin paying attention to what your focus is on. When you start to feel down, unimportant, or alone, take the focus off of that train of thought and put it on what it is you want. The grade you want on the test, the friends you will make, the team you will get on, the look you will have, the way you want to feel and the life you desire to have. Keep your focus on what it is you want versus what it is you don’t want (don’t give that any energy). I know it sounds odd but the more you do this, the faster you will learn to get control of your thoughts, emotions, and ultimately your level of happiness.

So while we adult women work to get our girl back, I want to help you ensure yours never leaves. This is your life, your experience and it’s up to you to decide what you will do with it. Getting control of your thoughts and then learning to direct them toward what you want in life will forever transform your experience and allow you to live a life beyond your wildest dreams.

If you’d like to get the daily blog post by email, sign up at http://bit.ly/1j2ol3s. If you’re reading this post through the daily email and want to become an Ambassador for Get Your Girl Back, where I’ll ask for help from you from time to time, email me at Traci@GYGB.com and I’ll share what we are up to.

Written by Traci Bild, Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement & expert on Women and Girl Issues