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Moms & Girls- Lessons in Love!

February 14, 2014

BLOG FOR GIRLS AGED 8-17

THIS VALENTINE’S DAY… 3 TIPS TO KEEP IT REAL; JUST BETWEEN US GIRLS (mom, lessons for you in here too!)

Everywhere you look there are boxes of chocolate, red roses, greeting cards, and images of love. For girls, this can be a really confusing time. Sure, everything is great if you’re in love… and things are going well. Yet if you’re alone or feeling as if you are the only girl without a Valentine, this can be a crappy time of year. Today’s message is for girls, 8-17, and their mothers, aunties and friends who wish to share this message as well as a little bonding time talking about the age old topic of love.

Enter Twilight…

I’ll never forget the day I saw my niece Kayla, who was in high school at the time, carrying around a huge book. “What’s that book about?” I asked. I couldn’t imagine a kid reading a book over 300 pages since the Harry Potter series- seriously, it had to be good. She told me the name was Twilight so I immediately went out and bought it. I had never heard of the book and it wasn’t all the rage (yet) as I had never even heard of it. Yet I was so curious due to the sheer size of the book and thought, “I’m going to check it out.” So I purchased myself a copy.

Oh my! I had no idea what I was about to get into. Odds are you have read Twilight yourself. I was completely consumed by this book (I’m a hopeless romantic okay?). I told my mom about it and she too became entrapped by the pages of Twilight. What blew my mind was that three generations of women, all from different times, felt completely taken by this book- And thus is the lure and draw of love. All of us could relate.

After finishing Twilight and hearing about it everywhere, literally- I asked Kayla how she liked the book. Her response was completely different than mine or her grandmas. It seemed that the author had this amazing ability to pull us all into the book, as if we were there, experiencing FIRST love all over again- it was intoxicating. Yet for Kayla, who had never been in love, it didn’t resonate the same. She had never experienced her first love so she couldn’t possibly miss it! Ha!

First love…

So here we are, back to the topic at hand- love. For girls, love can be confusing, right? If you’ve never been in love, how do you know when you are in love and how do you know its real love and not just infatuation?

I can’t answer that question exactly because in truth, it’s something you will simply know. But- to know for sure, love needs time to grow. Our society is so quick to pressure young girls to grow up fast- get a cell phone, post on social media, watch music videos with pathetic role models like Miley Cyrus, be uber skinny, pick your college major- in 9^th grade (if not sooner)…where does it end?

If you are a girl, trust me, you will be grown up soon enough so don’t rush it- especially when it comes to true love. So here are a few tips about dating or falling in love:

Demand Respect: If you are of the age that you are starting to date, whether it’s meeting at the roller rink or movies, or going on full blown “I’ll pick you up at 6” dates, it’s really important that the boy you date, whether once or more, respects you. This means that he listens to your opinion, as well as respects them- whether it’s the movie you want to see or your stance of the rules of dating that you hold dear. He must look you in the eye when talking and “call me old fashioned”, but he should open the door for you and treat you like the lady you are. If something feels “off” emotionally and you feel like you want to cry or like a knife just went through your heart due to something he said that wasn’t appropriate, politely work to end the date early, call your parents, and or make it a point to not date this boy again.

Give it time: Everything is always so exciting in the beginning. Trust me, even your mom and dad probably thought they would die if they didn’t see each other for a day when they started dating. While you may feel like picking up the phone and making that call every hour or so- texting, posting messages on his facebook and more- resist the temptation and leave room for some mystery. He should wonder where you are, what you are doing, and why you are not falling all over him. I know its soooo hard but you don’t want to appear desperate. Also, if you start to feel pressured, as if the boy you are dating or pursing is trying to rush things that you know are not appropriate, trust your gut and remove yourself from the situation as quickly as possible.

Trust your instinct: This is the most important thing I want to say to you. All of us have this little voice inside, called our instinct. Sadly, we don’t learn to really use or trust it until we are all grown up. The biggest challenge for girls in trusting their instinct is that your instinct or gut feeling normally goes against the very thing you want to do! So- while you are thinking, “Yes, this is right!” your gut is saying, “No, I don’t like this, it just doesn’t feel right.” I know it’s hard but I can’t tell you enough how important it is to start listening to your instinct and to trust it. Amazingly enough, that internal voice is part of your DNA, an animal instinct of sorts- you must listen to it because rarely is it wrong. If your gut says, “Leave this situation now,” just do it- even if having fun. You have this internal messaging system for a reason so learn to use it as it can literally save your life.

In closing…

Ah love- there is nothing like it, you can’t fight it, and you won’t ever fully understand it. It’s an amazing feeling that you will only experience once or twice in your lifetime so take your time and don’t rush it. If you have questions, ask your mom, auntie or person who shared this with you. You can also reach out to me at Traci@GYGB.com.

If you’d like to get the daily blog post by email, sign up at http://bit.ly/1j2ol3s. If you’re reading this post through the daily email and want to become an Ambassador for Get Your Girl Back, where I’ll ask for help from you from time to time, email me at Traci@GYGB.com and I’ll share what we are up to. Moms and aunties- Join our 10 Week Life Class Series starting Friday February 14th from 12-12:30 pm ET! Sign up now for free at http://gygb.com/life-series/

Written by Traci Bild, Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement

Girls, don’t let anyone take away your SPARKLE

January 29, 2014

This message is for your daughter or niece…please pass it on. I’m taking a darn lemon and turning it into lemonade. As I write I am fuming with anger- If you have not yet read my blog, Last Night, I Saw it Before My Eyes, Her Girl Ripped Out of Her Heart & It Broke Mine Into Pieces, stop and read it now.

In response to my own experience of losing my girl and seeing my daughter, begin to start the same process at age 9 and 10, I have decided to dedicate a weekly blog for our daughters, nieces and girls we love who are growing up in a competitive, dog eat dog, complex world. When you receive this blog, be sure to forward to her email, print for her to review at the dinner table, tuck into her back pack or text her to read. I refuse to just sit by and watch the environment in which our girls are raised, without raising my hand and voice, to make a difference. I need your help, please to spread the word and these blogs. Together we can impact little girls lives and of course their mothers through the Get Your Girl Back blog.

This message is specifically for girls, 8-17, who are developing mentally, physically and in confidence and belief in their ability to be somebody. SO GIRLS THIS MESSAGE IS FOR YOU!

1. Don’t Ever Let Anyone Steal Your Sparkle: Odds are you have an amazing spirit, laugh a lot, love to have fun and don’t take yourself too seriously. This is wonderful and you must hold on to this as long as you can. If someone tells you anything along the lines of:

a. You’re not good enough (to be on our team, to enter that competition, to be my friend, etc.); you must stand up for yourself, no matter how hard it is. Here are some examples: You can respond with something like, “I’m sorry you feel that way, but I don’t. In fact, I’m going to …try out for the team, register for the competition today, stick with my friends who get me because clearly you don’t.”

b. Your heart will beat, you will probably need to run into the restroom and cry, but you will feel empowered for standing up for yourself and the person piercing you with cruel words; kid or adult, will think twice about doing it again.

2. Breathe: Sounds silly but take a big, deep breath in…hold it…and let it out slowly. Do this two or three times, if not more. This technique will immediately calm your nerves and help you regain control.

3. Think! Before taking action, due to anger or frustration, really think about what you want to do. In short, don’t act without thinking. Give yourself an hour or even a day to decide what is best for you. We all think better when we are calm.

4. Respond: Take action girlfriend! Do what you know you are capable of because you want to and remember, you don’t need anyone’s permission to be great. God put you on this earth for a reason, so find it, and let your light shine!

Look, while this may be hard to understand, it’s a fact, life is what YOU make it. Bad stuff is going to happen, what matters is how you respond to it. Here are a few cool people to remember when things get tough!

* Albert Einstein didn’t speak until age four and didn’t read until age seven. His teachers labeled him “slow” and “mentally handicapped.” But Einstein just had a different way of thinking. He later won the Nobel Prize in physics.

* Oprah Winfrey was fired from her television reporting job because they told her she wasn’t fit to be on screen. But Winfrey rebounded and became the undisputed queen of television talk shows. She’s also a billionaire.

* Dr. Seuss’ first book was rejected by 27 different publishers. He’s now the most popular children’s book author ever.

No matter what- never, ever, ever, ever give up. Trust in your ability, your natural gifts, talents and abilities, make decisions that are best for you- not those that are cool or going to impress your friends. And remember, your girl, the one with all the sparkle, joy and happiness? She doesn’t want to leave…she wants to stay, play and remain a part of your life so pay attention and keep her close!

Written by Traci Bild, Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement & Empowerment Expert

Grandmother, Mother, and Daughter, the Generational Shift That Stole Your Girl

January 22, 2014

TODAY’S FOCUS IS: MANAGE

When you were in fourth grade, that special year that research shows girls have the most self-confidence, what did you think you would do when you grew up? Come on; think back, do you remember? My daughter Paris is in fifth grade and her thoughts might spark memories. Here are a few of her possibilities; “I want to be a mom, take over mommies companies Get Your Girl Back and Bild & Company, be a school teacher, or maybe a gymnastics teacher…” anything ring a bell? If not, ask your daughter or niece this very important question, “What do you think you will do when you grow up?”

Two Full Time Jobs

I imagine that the answer, “I will work two full time jobs” never got onto that list and the very thought of your daughter or niece doing that terrifies you. Yet the fact is, that is what most women are doing. They start at the crack of dawn, getting kids ready for school, only to head off to a day job that ends at 4 or 5, then head back home for the most important job of all, parenting and wife- the managing of a beautiful family to include cooking, cleaning, tutoring, carpooling, sporting events, laundry, grocery shopping, and more. Normally that job ends around 9 pm when everyone is safely tucked into bed and the last dishes are put away, loose shoes put in the shoe basket, and back packs set by the door. While you may love your life and wouldn’t trade it for anything, the question to ask is “How do you manage it all without losing track of yourself?”

The Generational Divide

Odds are your grandmother didn’t work and if she did boy was she a trailblazer! In most cases, her full time job was the raising of her family and managing of her home. Her daughter, quite possibly your mother, was raised to be like her mom, to be a homemaker. Yet something happened- people started to get divorced and if your mom is anything like mine, these women were unprepared. With little job training or college behind them, they were forced to enter the workforce, work two to three jobs to survive, and in many cases, even marry- not for love but to put a roof over their children’s heads. Life for many of our mothers was not was they expected.

Then there are the women of my generation, those who watched from the side as our mothers struggled to survive, find work, and make a place for themselves in the world. We became determined- we would not rely on anyone to take care of us, we would work, and provide for ourselves. So off to college we went! Fast forward to today- Women are unprepared- and rightly so! In the span of three generations, women went from one job to two; yet extra hours were not added to the day, we simply have had to learn how to manage it all and the one thing that regularly falls off the list is YOU.

As women who both work at home and outside the home, putting in sixteen hour days, it’s more important than ever to focus on systems that will help you better manage your life. This is what Get Your Girl Back is all about. Reading these daily blogs will serve as a guide to help you on this wonderful journey called life! My goal today is to help you understand why at times, you might feel like you are going to go crazy and to know that you are not alone. My mom recently got me a sign that reads, “Some call it chaos, we call it family.” I love this sign and so enjoy the chaos- yet in that chaos is order, fun, adventure, and pure bliss. I want to help you learn how to keep all the good, yummy parts of your life and repair those that are broken and not-so good right now. Odds are there is more good than bad so with a little focus you can reignite your passion and create a life by design, not circumstance.

So ponder today’s message, take it in. Then, commit to learn, grow and implement new ideas into your life and if you have a daughter, teach her what you learn so she understands how to keep her girl, front and center- then there will never be a need to get her back!

Written by Traci Bild, Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement

<a href=”http://www.hypersmash.com”>Hypersmash.com</a>

Toxic Chemicals in Pink Bottles – An Angry Mom Speaks Out By Guest Blogger Kimberly Grustas

January 13, 2014

Having a sick child changes everything.

As a natural product lover I was aware of chemicals in the foods we eat, the products we bring into our homes and those we expose ourselves to each day with our personal care.

But this awareness hit home when my first daughter was born. She suffered from asthma and severe allergies as a baby. Up until that point I was a light shade of green, convincing myself that bleach really was better at cleaning than vinegar.

Suddenly I began to read every label and question every ingredient. I blamed myself: was it something I ate, or did not eat during pregnancy? Whatever the cause, the reality was that I was in the emergency room every few months because my daughter’s croup was so bad she could not breathe.

Fortunately, we identified food allergies that were partially to blame, and as her lungs developed further, her asthma got better. Our last scare was on a cruise ship when she was two years old. Her croup was so bad that she was turning blue and they could not find a doctor. (The reason I will never set foot on a cruise ship again…but that’s another story).

So what happens when baby number two is born just as sick, but instead of croup she gets pneumonia?

You get angry, very angry.

My journey to discovering a better way is not uncommon. Moms move mountains when it comes to protecting their kids, and moms have advocated so strongly against ingredients like BPA that it’s no longer in baby bottles. Yeah, moms!

So life is good. I’ve got the hang of this natural thing, and my girls are growing healthy and strong. I’ll tell you what happens, tween happens.

Tweens = toxic chemicals in pink bottles

Toxic chemicals in pink bottles filled with sulfates, phthalates, parabens and fragrance. Argh! Are you kidding me?

I’ve just spent the last 9 years of my life keeping my daughters away from chemicals, and now brands like Barbie, Bonnie Bell and Hello Kitty want to lure them to the dark side with petrochemicals for their lips and PEG’s in the shower? No Thank You.

So I do what any sane, pissed off mom would do. I start a company devoted to girls.

OK, perhaps it was not really the sane thing to do, but I knew if I was looking for healthy, natural products for my daughters, there had to be other moms just like me.

The reality is crazy. Girls are entering puberty almost two years earlier than in the 1950’s, and 4 years earlier than just a century ago. The average age of menstruation is now a little bit above age 12, with 50% of girls developing breasts almost two years earlier.

The media targets tweens

Not only are girls maturing sooner, but the media ruthlessly targets them with Photo Shop to create false, unattainable images of beauty.

Marketers want a piece of the 51 billion annually spent by 8-12 twelve year olds, and the influence they have over another $170 billion annually spent on them by parents and family.

No wonder there’s an increase in self-esteem issues and body image problems for girls as young as 9 years old.

In 2008 The Environmental Working Group did the first-ever study where they tested the blood and urine of 20 girls age 14 to 19 across the US. They discovered 16 hormone-altering chemicals only found in personal care products and cosmetics.

Don’t get me wrong. I love beauty products. I think they provide an amazing and often overlooked opportunity to talk to your daughter about protecting and taking care of her body.

Girls need hygiene. They need to wash their face and use deodorant, and now they need it even earlier than we did.

Talk to your daughter

Sticking your head in the sand and pretending your little girl isn’t stinky or sprouting blackheads will not solve anything. In fact it will leave her with a ton of questions, confusion and doubt. Frankly if you don’t talk to her, her friends and the Internet will.

Harness your inner girl (I know she’s in there) and talk to your daughter. Make it special. Talk about the amazing and natural changes going on in her body, and how chemicals like phthalates, parabens and fragrance have been linked to hormone development.

Tell her some funny stories about when your body was going through changes. Despite what you think, girls want to hear these stories from you. They need to know these changes are normal. Puberty can be scary at 14 and downright terrifying at age 11.

Introduce her to effective and age appropriate products like Good For You Girls natural skincare; products she will love with natural ingredients you can feel good about.

Teaching your daughter to love and respect her body is one of the best gifts you will ever give her. The earlier you start the conversation, the more she will hear you and take it to heart.

And when you buy her beautiful skincare products, you just might get a few “cool mom!” points. So jump on the hormone wagon and have some fun. You will be so glad you did, and so will your daughter.

About the author:

Kim Grustas , as the founder and owner of Good For You Girls natural skin care for girls, has committed her career to helping girls feel good about themselves while keeping them away from hormone altering chemicals during a crucial time in their bodies development. As a mom of two daughters, she started the line because she could not find any products she felt were safe, effective or age appropriate for her own girls. Kim knows first hand how hard it can be to raise naturally conscious kids. Hygiene is a natural part of growing up so why not show our daughters that the right choices today can mean a healthier future? Find out more at: http://www.GoodForYouGirls.com

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