The Dream Job- To Get to the End Let’s Go Back to the Beginning

I posted earlier today on my Working Mother magazine blog “Walking Zombie” about this interesting dynamic in what we want as a young professional and the reality of what needs to happen to get there. 

By the way, there are so many neat blogs on Working Mother magazine’s website!  I hope you can go over there to check them out sometime: www.workingmother.com. 

Here’s the full blog post:

Man walking into bright future

I was at dinner last night with Dave and two of our lifelong friends Joe and Rebecca. Joe, who has an amazing job in the medical field, was sharing a story about a mother who asked if he would let her son shadow a case he was working on. The goal was to expose her son to Joe’s field of work in hopes that he might follow suit.

The day came and Joe happily took this young man under his wing, showing him the ins and outs of his job. In short, he sells heart stints to heart surgeons, participates in surgeries, showing Doctors how to use his product properly upon purchase and spends lots of time “after work” forging lasting relationships as it’s a highly competitive field.

At the end of the day together, the young man looked at Joe and exclaimed, “Wow, I want to do this! How do I get started?” Joe sat him down and said, “Well you don’t actually start here. Let me take you back to the beginning, twenty years ago, with my first pharmaceutical sales job.” He went on to trace his career path, which wondered down many roads…some good, some not so good… but that ultimately ended with the amazing position he holds today. When he finished sharing his story, the boy looked at Joe and said, “Wow, you had to do all that to get to this? Can’t I just start here? That’s going to take a long time!”

Don’t we all wish we could start at the end, with the dream job or highly successful business? Yet rarely if ever does one just end up in the job of a lifetime. Great jobs require lots of knowledge, experience and confidence; they are earned. Sitting with Joe, Rebecca, and Dave, there was an unspoken level of respect for one another as we all started out with nothing but strong work ethic, determination and huge dreams for our futures.

While we are all very successful today, living what some might consider “The good life,” each of us still works as if we never caught that dream– we are consistently pushing ourselves harder, striving to learn, grow and achieve more. Each of the positions that led us to the place we are today was important. One job led to another and in most cases some sort of promotion and increase in responsibility and income. None of us imagined those steps would move us to the careers we have today. In Joe’s case, he didn’t even know the job existed…he was a finance major in college…and today he is teaching surgeons how to use his product in real surgeries! How crazy is that? And Dave- out of all his friends in college, he and one other guy are still in the business. The path to becoming a Captain at a major airline is so difficult that most just pursued other fields. I’m so proud of him because he stayed the course and kept his eye on the big dream.

Some of us, like Dave, have a set path that is well mapped out and lands at a certain position- such as a  doctor, lawyer or other professional career position. Others, like Joe, Rebecca and I ended up in unexpected, surprising places that far exceeded what we had planned for our lives. The point is that you are where you are for a reason. What might seem remedial today is providing you with skills that will be vital to the next step in your career tomorrow. What matters is that you are moving forward, advancing toward the future, being challenged, growing, learning and allowing life to deliver those unexpected, but blissful surprises you couldn’t possibly imagine for yourself.

The other thing to keep in mind is that you must have patience. No matter where you are right now, do what you do with passion and give it 110% so long as it is moving you in the direction of your dreams. Set goals and push to go to the next level in your life and when the timing is right, you will get there! Also know that there is no real “there.” Once you land at what you thought was your dream job, odds are you will have another in mind- that’s good because it means you are growing, learning and pushing to the next glorious level in life and when you do that, you are alive!

While you may feel at times like the young man Joe mentored, wondering if you have what it takes to walk the long road to your dreams, realize that if the dream burns deep in your heart, it will be worth every step. Just put one foot in front of the other and keep walking!

Written by Traci Bild, work-life balance expert and Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement. Follow us on Facebook (Get Your Girl Back movement) for more inspiration and ideas to live a life of adventure, fun and sheer bliss! To download the first chapter of Traci’s forthcoming book, Get Your Girl Back, visit  http://gygb.com/the-book/.

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Mom With Twins Makes Pact With Hubby for ONE Night a Week- Script Provided to Make it Happen in Your Home!

Time for You

Written by Guest Contributor Jennifer Ruyle.

With everything going on in our lives it’s so darn easy to overlook carving out time for ourselves, even just for a few hours. Blah Blah Blah. Not quite ladies.  From the moment I had my twins, now eight years old, I made a pact with my husband. One night during the week I would get my own night, and one night a week he would get his own night. Before you start objecting and saying…”well my husband couldn’t handle dinner or the kids need me to do this or that at bedtime or I worked all day won’t get to tuck in little Johnny”…here’s a thought – it’s ONE night.  No one will starve, no one will combust, no one will hate you.  So here’s how it goes.  Tuesdays are my night starting at 6pm when my husband arrives home, grumpy or not. I either go to a yoga class, grab some friends and get dinner, shop a bookstore or sit in my car listening to old 70s tunes. I return about 9pm – definitely after the kids are in their slumber. In turn, my husband chooses his night to go play softball in his very competitive over 40 league.

The key is this ONE night doesn’t negate a date night – which I do know realistically can’t always happen every week. But, unless there is a recital or major illness, my hubby and I have stuck to our ONE night for the past 8 years.  And I believe we are all happier for it.  It’s easy to make excuses, but if you and your husband can’t make this happen, then it’s going to be a long road ahead.  It’s a win-win for both of you so no one should be complaining. It’s a positive change you can make right now. The house may be a mess when you get home, and dinner may not be gourmet those two nights, but who cares.

Common obstacles:

Kids: “You’re going to yoga again this week…”         

YOU: “Yes, the more fit I am, the longer I will live for you.”

Kids: “Don’t leave Mommy, Daddy makes us eat weird food.”      

YOU:  “Mommy needs playdates, too right?”

Husband:  “So what should we do after dinner…”                      

YOU:  “You’re smart. You’ll figure it out. Have fun.”

Husband:  Sheer look of terror as you grab your keys to go.           

YOU:  Ignore or plant a very long kiss on his face. Then give a sultry goodbye.

And if you or your husband can’t think of anything to do on your ONE night, just ask for ideas by posting a comment to the blog post…I have trillions of ideas of how you can spend 2-3 hours enriching your life, YOUR LIFE, too.

If you’re reading this post through the daily email and want to become an Ambassador for Get Your Girl Back, where I’ll ask for help from you from time to time, email me at Traci@GYGB.com and I’ll share what we are up to (we are starting a free 10 week class for our Ambassadors on January 7th so if you have not signed up yet, now is the time). If you’d like to get the daily blog post by email, sign up at http://gygb.com/category/blog/ and see what we’re working on how it can help you!

 <a href=”http://www.hypersmash.com”>Hyper Smash</a>

Grandmother, Mother, and Daughter, the Generational Shift That Stole Your Girl

TODAY’S FOCUS IS: MANAGE

3 generations of women

When you were in fourth grade, that special year that research shows girls have the most self-confidence, what did you think you would do when you grew up? Come on; think back, do you remember? My daughter Paris is in fifth grade and her thoughts might spark memories. Here are a few of her possibilities; “I want to be a mom, take over mommies companies Get Your Girl Back and Bild & Company, be a school teacher, or maybe a gymnastics teacher…” anything ring a bell? If not, ask your daughter or niece this very important question, “What do you think you will do when you grow up?”

Two Full Time Jobs

I imagine that the answer, “I will work two full time jobs” never got onto that list and the very thought of your daughter or niece doing that terrifies you. Yet the fact is, that is what most women are doing. They start at the crack of dawn, getting kids ready for school, only to head off to a day job that ends at 4 or 5, then head back home for the most important job of all, parenting and wife- the managing of a beautiful family to include cooking, cleaning, tutoring, carpooling, sporting events, laundry, grocery shopping, and more. Normally that job ends around 9 pm when everyone is safely tucked into bed and the last dishes are put away, loose shoes put in the shoe basket, and back packs set by the door. While you may love your life and wouldn’t trade it for anything, the question to ask is “How do you manage it all without losing track of yourself?”

The Generational Divide

Odds are your grandmother didn’t work and if she did boy was she a trailblazer! In most cases, her full time job was the raising of her family and managing of her home. Her daughter, quite possibly your mother, was raised to be like her mom, to be a homemaker. Yet something happened- people started to get divorced and if your mom is anything like mine, these women were unprepared. With little job training or college behind them, they were forced to enter the workforce, work two to three jobs to survive, and in many cases, even marry- not for love but to put a roof over their children’s heads. Life for many of our mothers was not was they expected.

Then there are the women of my generation, those who watched from the side as our mothers struggled to survive, find work, and make a place for themselves in the world.  We became determined- we would not rely on anyone to take care of us, we would work, and provide for ourselves. So off to college we went! Fast forward to today- Women are unprepared- and rightly so! In the span of three generations, women went from one job to two; yet extra hours were not added to the day, we simply have had to learn how to manage it all and the one thing that regularly falls off the list is YOU.

As women who both work at home and outside the home, putting in sixteen hour days, it’s more important than ever to focus on systems that will help you better manage your life.  This is what Get Your Girl Back is all about. Reading these daily blogs will serve as a guide to help you on this wonderful journey called life! My goal today is to help you understand why at times, you might feel like you are going to go crazy and to know that you are not alone. My mom recently got me a sign that reads, “Some call it chaos, we call it family.” I love this sign and so enjoy the chaos- yet in that chaos is order, fun, adventure, and pure bliss. I want to help you learn how to keep all the good, yummy parts of your life and repair those that are broken and not-so good right now. Odds are there is more good than bad so with a little focus you can reignite your passion and create a life by design, not circumstance.

So ponder today’s message, take it in. Then, commit to learn, grow and implement new ideas into your life and if you have a daughter, teach her what you learn so she understands how to keep her girl, front and center- then there will never be a need to get her back!

Written by Traci Bild, Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement

<a href=”http://www.hypersmash.com”>Hypersmash.com</a>

 

 

 

BIRTH YOUR DREAM- FROM CHAOS TO CLARITY

breck

Take a look at this image as I bring you back in time with me, oh about three years ago. It was here, in Breckenridge, Colorado, that I was walking up and down the quaint city streets in tears. While I was supposed to be skiing, I had taken the day off to write. Instead, I found myself wondering, frustrated, confused and on the phone with my best friend from grade school begging her to help me find clarity. I felt like a mad woman and no matter what I did I couldn’t shut my mind off. I needed an answer and no matter how far I walked, or long I talked, thought or cried, I wasn’t ready to receive it- not yet.

Looking back, as I again walk the streets of Breckenridge, I am in a totally different place. I got my answer, and in turn clarity, purpose, and peace of mind. So what was the question you ask? While it might sound trite, what I needed was the title of my movement and book. I had been writing for close to a decade yet the title eluded me. As a writer, it’s like the bow that goes on top of the package and without it I literally felt lost.

It took another two years but that answer came in the form of Get Your Girl Back. I was on the phone with my amazing writing coach Lisa Tener when she said, “What about Get Your Girl Back?” As soon as I heard it, I knew- that was the perfect title to describe my movement and book. Why did it take so long? Why did it have to be so painful? Yet the fact was, I got my answer, it came when it was supposed to and not a moment before.

While I may make things look easy today, trust me, it’s not. Birthing a dream can literally feel like labor! Consider the fact that I started writing Get Your Girl Back when I was pregnant with Paris. Now she is ten! I tucked the book away and stopped writing for years only to be nudged to pull it back out. One time I literally threw it away and said, “I can’t do this!” until a life coach of mine, Sue Youngs said, “Traci, are you willing to miss your destiny simply because you are afraid to be vulnerable?” I knew in that moment that no matter how hard it was to share the private moments of my life, my personal stories and failures to help others; that I had to pursue my destiny- and NO I was not willing to miss it!

Then came the branding and rebranding, three website redesigns, and regular investments in something that wasn’t even viable or real yet. Of course I would question myself, “What am I doing?” Yet with each fear, insecurity and moment of doubt, I reminded myself of my purpose, passion and ability to do anything I set my mind to. No matter what, I was going to give until there was nothing left to give.

So here I am. I pushed through. While I’m nowhere near the finish line, I successfully launched the Get Your Girl Back movement just six months ago. The movement is on fire, women are engaged, sharing the movement with their friends, sisters, and mothers; all who want to reignite their passion- whether it be for their marriage, health, career, spiritual health, hobby, children, charity or something entirely different- they are revisiting those passions and thinking about how to rekindle them.

Next up? Get ready for a series of life class opportunities where I will show you how to reignite your passion step by step (and it will be for free because I want to help make a difference in your life). We have fun dream journals and other exciting things in store for you! So hang on and take a look at your own dream with fresh eyes. If it were easy, everyone would do it! You have to fight for your dream, and never, ever give up on them! Use my story as an example to follow in your own life. It’s not easy; you will fail, cry, give up and then start over again and again. Yet when the dream begins to manifest, the taste of victory will be worth every moment of energy you gave to birth your dream. So welcome the chaos, its proof that you indeed are alive!

If you’re reading this post through the daily email and want to become an Ambassador for Get Your Girl Back, where I’ll ask for help from you from time to time, email me at Traci@GYGB.com and I’ll share what we are up to. If you’d like to get the daily blog post by email, sign up at http://gygb.com/category/blog/ and see what we’re working on how it can help you!

Written by Traci Bild, Author and Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement

<a href=”http://www.hypersmash.com”>www.HyperSmash.com</a>

Finding “Me” in an Unexpected Place – Contributed by Guest Blogger Julie Podewitz

Finding Me

Finding Me- Julie in her Hammock

My mom bought me a one-person hanging hammock for Christmas this year.  My first thought when I opened it was, “Oh, a hammock, thanks.”  I also have to admit I was thinking, “When am I ever going to use a hammock?”  My husband hung it in our back porch area and since I live in Florida with great weather to be outside, even in “chilly” winter, and was on a break from work I decided to get a book and try it out. 

One of my goals this year (and every year,) is to just stop the noise, quiet my mind, and allow me to just be me.  It’s very challenging for me as I am a driven career woman with demanding job and a husband and daughter.  I travel a lot, juggle many priorities, run my daughter to dance four days a week and try and get the dog out on a walk every day.  Quieting my mind is tough. 

I have to say one hour in the hammock and I was hooked.  It is now my perfect retreat.  It’s just for “me.” I now covet my “me” time that has truly allowed me to rest my mind, contemplate, think or not think, read great books (or just fluff magazines) and get inspired by focusing on appreciating everything and everyone in my life.  I have my 2014 Goal Sheet out and ready to complete during my next hammock session.

I now schedule hammock time in my day and look forward to my time.  It’s just for me.  Well, and maybe my dog…

Maybe mother does know best.

To learn more about how you can find yourself and be empowered by women like you, who seek to reinvent their lives, gain more freedom, adventure, passion, and purpose, join our Get Your Girl Back movement now http://gygb.com/join-the-movement/