By Guest Blogger Gay Norton Edelman, author of The Hungry Ghost: How I Ditched 100 Pounds and Came Fully Alive  bitly.com/1gg7mId

 

Gay Norton Edelman

Gay Norton Edelman

 

Yes, I loss 100 pounds. Yes, I have kept it off for 20 years.

 

People ask all the time how I got the courage to do this.

 

The courage came from desperation. I had been trying all my adult life to get the binge eating and the weight under control. Diets, support groups, therapy, the works.

 

After years and years of trying and failing, grace finally arrived. That day, my doctor prescribed blood pressure pills. I cried all the way home. I had three little kids whom I loved more than life itself. I did not want to leave them to go to rehab. What else was there?

 

My friend Betty had told me about a spiritually based peer support group. I called her and she took me to my first meeting. There I learned that I am a food addict, meaning once I start eating food with sugar, wheat and flour in it, I can’t stop. I was given a food plan and I made a commitment to weigh and measure all my meals with a cup and scale.

 

It was very hard work. That first year, learning how to eat, read labels, exercise felt like a full time job. But I did it. And along the way I learned the most important lesson of all: to pay attention not just to food and exercise but also to my hungry, hungry soul.

 

I had made food a god. I had made food the solution to stress, loneliness, frustration, anger, despair, disappointment and all the other feelings I wanted to avoid. Instead, I needed to depend on a power greater than myself that was based not in things of the world but things of the spirit.

 

All of this was—and is—a lot of work. How do I find the time? How do I not find the time?

 

I have to come first. The things I do to stay in recovery from food addiction, compulsive overeating and obesity are as vital to my health as regular dialysis is to the kidney patient or chemo is to the cancer patient. This is life and death.

 

I work as hard at it now as I ever did. What comes in the way of my health has to be deleted or delegated. My kids didn’t need to be in a bunch of after-school activities and lessons. They needed their mother. My husband didn’t need fancy meals or his laundry done for him. He needed a wife who was alive, well and happy. I didn’t need to be in the stratosphere of my profession. I needed to have me.

 

I don’t mess around, ever. I can’t be perfect. But I never take for granted any of the things I have to do to sustain life.

 

There’s tons of good information about eating right, moving your body, filling your soul needs. And I’ve just published my own self-help book, The Hungry Ghost: How I Ditched 100 Pounds and Came Fully Alive, to explain in detail what I do, and how you can, too.

 

If you decide you really, really want to live, you’ll keep trying and failing, like I did, until you find the way to eat right, move your body, and nourish your spirit.

 

If there is any secret or magic to what I do, it’s this: You only have to do what’s right for your body, mind and soul one day at a time. Too much to think about? Do it just one moment at a time. Trust me, there are still plenty of days when I live by the saying, “Right foot, left foot, breathe.”

 

Simple, yes. Easy? No. But remember, you are one smart woman. You are not alone. And you are so worth it!  

 

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[Occasionally I will post blog entries directed to young girls between the ages of 8-17 so that we can help our young woman never lose Their Girl.  Please print this out and share with your daughter, niece, or young girl you’re mentoring.  Let this be a special time to connect with them!]

As a young girl, it’s not always easy to know your place in the world. Looking around, it probably seems that everyone has it so easy- but you. Your friends are gifted and smart, great at their sport, pretty, popular, and have the best of everything; from smart phones to clothes. While all you want to do is fit in, it seems that you move further and further from that goal. “When are things going to get better?”

Portrait of four smiling teenage girls outside

A Secret

I would like to let you in on a secret. You are not alone. Not only do your friends feel the same way, even those who seem to have it all, your mom probably experiences similar feelings too! It is in our nature to look at other people and measure ourselves against them- Who they are, what they have, how you compare and so on. What you must do is change your focus. Rather than focus on what you don’t have, begin to focus on what you do have. Every person has a set of talents and gifts they are born with, including YOU! While you may not think so it’s true, you simply have to find them.

You’re Gifts

Start to look within and think about what you are good at, what comes natural to you and what others say you do so well…that literally is hard for them but comes natural to you. Does anything come to mind right now? If you are immediately thinking of your friends and what they do great, stop it! Look within…you are amazing too. My daughter Paris is ten and we’ve discovered that her natural gifts are for music, foreign language, and advocating for others. Who would have ever thought that? While it’s not exciting for her today and feels like work versus fun, it’s what she was born to do! When she is 15, 18, 20, and beyond, these gifts have the opportunity to change her life. So think about you own life…is your gift writing, baking, ballet or drawing? Look around your room…clues lie everywhere! What do you see? Odds are you are drawn to something on a regular basis- that speaks to you, and makes you feel calm, inspired or excited. Ask your mom, dad, grandma, or teacher this question, “Is there anything you’ve noticed that I’m really good at and that could be a natural talent for me?” (Note- only ask people who really love and support you this question).

Be Patient

It might take some time to discover your natural talent or gift but I promise it is there inside of you. You are special and YOU were meant for something great! Work to find that gift, be proud of it, invest time in cultivating it and give yourself credit where it is deserved. Spend less time comparing and beating yourself up and more time laughing, dreaming, playing, singing, and dancing! You are a kid so be one because you will be grown up soon enough.

For now, I want to encourage you to begin paying attention to what your focus is on. When you start to feel down, unimportant, or alone, take the focus off of that train of thought and put it on what it is you want. The grade you want on the test, the friends you will make, the team you will get on, the look you will have, the way you want to feel and the life you desire to have. Keep your focus on what it is you want versus what it is you don’t want (don’t give that any energy). I know it sounds odd but the more you do this, the faster you will learn to get control of your thoughts, emotions, and ultimately your level of happiness.

So while we adult women work to get our girl back, I want to help you ensure yours never leaves. This is your life, your experience and it’s up to you to decide what you will do with it. Getting control of your thoughts and then learning to direct them toward what you want in life will forever transform your experience and allow you to live a life beyond your wildest dreams.

If you’d like to get the daily blog post by email, sign up at http://bit.ly/1j2ol3s. If you’re reading this post through the daily email and want to become an Ambassador for Get Your Girl Back, where I’ll ask for help from you from time to time, email me at Traci@GYGB.com and I’ll share what we are up to.

Written by Traci Bild, Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement & expert on Women and Girl Issues