Are You Living in Fear or Possibility?

For the past fifteen years I have called upon an amazing woman, whom I refer to as “My wise sage,” to help me in times of confusion, doubt or struggle. Her actual name is Sue. I’ve never met her in person, have no idea what she looks like but consider her one of the most influential women in my life and her advice and intuition is spot on.

Talking to Sue recently, she said something that rocked me to my core. “Traci, it seems you’re living in fear of the future instead of the possibility in it.” I felt the blood drain from my head and as if I might pass out. Seriously, it hit me like a ton of bricks because she was right and I had no idea.

Most disturbing is that I had always lived my life from a place of possibility- excited about the future- creating it first in my dream journals and then meticulously through very clear goal setting. Not once have I doubted my ability to do something and Sue knew this because she’s been coaching me for 15 years and seen it firsthand. So what changed?

I know it sounds really contrite but the only thing that changed was my thinking. In truth, something has been off in my mind for the past six months and I’ve struggled to access that part of my brain that instills confidence, belief and pure drive. At 44 I was thinking perhaps it was my age and something chemical- or at least that was an easy out for me. But when Sue said, “You’re living in fear of the future,” she unlocked my power- literally. That very day I instantly felt better because I knew what was wrong, my focus and thinking was off. Rather than put energy toward what it is I wanted, I was giving it to what I didn’t want and was afraid might happen in my life.

The brain is a very tricky organ. It needs a job and if you don’t give it one- a clear one, it will take over and in most cases, fill you with doubt, fear and anxiety. For me, this trigger built up due to actions I took in my consulting firm, Bild and Company. I had hired a new CEO the year prior to run my national organization; something I had done myself for over 20 years. While he has done a fantastic job, I never worked through the grieving process of “giving up my position” and also felt powerless to run my business because I had literally handed the job over to someone else. Known to many as the Mindset Mentor, I for sure had lost that ability over the past six months. What I didn’t lose was my refusal to live a mediocre life. Instinctually I knew I was losing the battle of the mind, but simply couldn’t figure out how to regain control. Refusing to give in, it finally hit me- I need to call Sue and thus the beginning of the story.

Almost like a fairy god mother waiving her wand, with one sentence Sue returned my power. Instantly I felt my mind, mood and spirit shift back to living in possibility. I couldn’t do better because I didn’t know better; now I do.

Even more powerful is the process I’ve been engaged in to find one “word” or phrase to encompass what the Get Your Girl Back movement is about. All I can say is God is good because through this experience, tough as it has been, he revealed it to me (and you are going to be among the first to hear it!).

I’ve always lived my life in possibility but many women have not. Before I could help others with this final piece of the puzzle, I had to experience it personally- not what it’s like to live in possibility- but the despair of living my life in fear.

I understand now- Get Your Girl Back for me has always been about possibility- how could I have missed it? The possibility to live an abundant life, the possibility to have a beautiful marriage, the possibility to enjoy great health, the possibility to raise well-mannered children who make a difference in the world, the possibility to use your natural talents and gifts in your work, the possibility to have financial freedom, the possibility to live in gratitude, the possibility to have balance and the possibility to have fulfillment in your life. There are SO MANY POSSIBILITIES! You just have to expect them to show up!

This is the possibility I’ve lived in since I was a girl- that along the way was lost- but regained. This is Get Your Girl Back- so go, live in possibility and make your life what you’ve always dreamed it would be. Comment here on my blog your thoughts, I would love to hear them.

Please, if this message resonates with you, help me spread the word to the women you know and love. Forward them the blog, encourage them to sign up for Notes From Your Girl or advise them to download a FREE dream journal and see what it feels like to map out their life and live in possibility. Just visit www.GYGB.com for any of these immediate actions. Thanks for supporting me through this journey. We are just getting started.

 

 

 

 

Stand Outside Your Windows and Look In- What Do You See?

This morning I was making my latte and listening to Pandora when the song Dave and I danced to at our wedding came on, The Hawaiian Wedding Song. It hit me like a ton of bricks and brought an immediate grin to my face. Turning it up, I stopped and looked around my home, “Who would have thought?”

If you’re married, odds are you remember everything about that moment too. As you swayed to the music you didn’t have a care in the world, this is where you were meant to be, with the people you loved most surrounding you in celebration. For most of us, our wedding song is one of those life moments we never forget (and for some people, one they wish they could forget).

I met Dave 22 years ago. We were kids with big dreams and all of 21 years old! He had shoulder length blond hair and mine was fire red with a rockin spiral perm. To this day Dave begs me to get that hair style back (yeah, right). Who would have thought that together we would travel the world, bury a parent (this wasn’t supposed to happen), start our careers, get married, buy a house (did we really have enough money to do this?), create two beautiful children and live to see the growth of…I’ll say it- grey hair! Can you relate?

Pondering our life together made me feel tremendous gratitude. It’s so easy to take what we have for granted. Whatever your situation, here’s a simple exercise for you to do today. Stop, go outside and look in the windows of your home. Objectively see your life as if a stranger looking in. Your perspective will completely change and instead of seeing what’s wrong, you will see what’s right.

Odds are you have a home, a family and food in the refrigerator. While this sounds pretty basic and a given, it’s not. Women all over the world are repressed in ways most of us can’t possibly imagine. So today, honor them by living in gratitude and truly taking in the blessings of your life. SEE your children, your partner, your furniture, your stove, your washer and dryer, your cabinets with food inside of them, your microwave, your floors, your walls with images of your life…take it all in. It’s beautiful isn’t it? This week, make this your mission- to see what’s beautiful and embrace the way it makes you feel.

Do me a favor, when you go outside and look in the window, come back and share on my blog how you felt and perhaps even what you saw. I would love to hear from you.

Written by Traci Bild, wife, mother, entrepreneur

www.GYGB.com  Get your FREE Get Your Girl Back Dream Journal Download and spend time working ON your life versus simply living IN it.

8 Steps to Organize Your Week

“Either you run the day or the day runs you.” Jim Rohn

Want to feel more empowered, in control and ready to jump into Monday- versus dreading it? Take some time today to or tomorrow to create your life map for the week and most importantly, PRIORITIZE your week and build it around the things that matter most to you.

So many women ask me how I plan my week so I’m giving you the nuts and bolts here. What matters is that you stop and make the time to do this for yourself. The way I teach this will result in your honoring the priorities that matter most in your life, bring fulfillment as well as a great sense of accomplish both at work and at home.

Here is my process:

  1. Set the Mood: Make a delicious latte or cup of tea, turn on your favorite music and go about crafting the week you wish to manifest. No more hoping, wishing and praying- it’s time for action. My routine is a yummy latte in my favorite coffee cup (that my beautiful mom gave me), a candle and the French Café on Pandora – so I can mentally escape to Paris.

 

  1. Get Your Tools: Gather everything you need to prepare for the week ahead. Calendars, colored pens, highlighters, etc. If you’re going to plan your week, you might as well make it fun.

 

  1. Organize the Week: Merge all family calendars into one. I use outlook so typically I’ll add everything in and color code it.

 

  1. Don’t Forget You! Once you organize your work and family calendar, get on the list! Build in when and where you will exercise and care for your health. I literally build yoga, spin, etc. into my calendar five days a week. It’s not always easy and there are days I simply can’t go but- it’s a game changer to allow yourself this time. Your body is the greatest asset you have and sadly, until it’s gone you may not realize this. Even if it’s a 20 minute walk before everyone wakes up for the day, get it on your calendar. Also add in date or time with a friend, even if just for lunch.

 

  1. Plan Your Meals: After the week is set you will have a better feel for what’s needed meal wise- whose going to be home when. Add the meal for each night into your evening calendar and even post the recipe or cookbook page in the notes section. The more you can eat at home, as a family- to meals that are healthy and planned ahead, the happier you will be. Trust me, it’s a mamma thing. We love to nourish those we love (even if you’re not a great cook, because trust me; I am not!). My favorite tools are Bon Appetit and the How to Cook Everything Fast cookbook. Oh and never feel guilty for buying cookbooks or subscribing to cooking magazines. You need the inspiration!

 

  1. Make Your Grocery List: Get a grocery app. Most are free and they will make shopping a breeze. I use My Shop which organizes items by category and allows you to make notes. You can email or text lists as well. Most importantly, you can add to the list all week so if you stop at the store unexpectedly, the list is with you.

 

  1. Pull Everything into a Capture Tool: Okay, this is the best part, what I call the cherry on top! Go into Outlook or whatever calendaring system you use and print out each individual page, Monday-Sunday. Review each day, add notes, highlight important events you do not want to miss and if you want, add an image or inspiring quote at the top of each page. Next print your task list, take all these papers and attach them to a clip board. This is your week’s life map- all captured in one spot, thus titled the Capture Tool. When in car lines, at sporting events or in the car, as papers are given or item to do, just put them on your capture tool clip board- all in one place. No more loose papers, sticky notes or scatter brain.

 

  1. Set Your Intention: The last thing to do is figure out your intention for the week- How do you want to feel, how do you intend to live your life in this coming week or what place will you spiritually, physically or mentally operate from? You get to decide! For example, mine last week was “I want to feel bold and empowered”. Setting your intention, writing it down and owning it gives you incredible power.

Guess what? You are ready to go! Forget being a victim of your week- it’s time to take control of your life.  Getting your girl back is about finding your power and choosing to craft the life you want. When you build the week, month and year around the priorities that matter most, AND HONOR those priorities, you will fulfill that emptiness that nags at you because you are out of balance.

I know this seems like a lot of work but isn’t your life and sanity worth it? I do this every weekend and you will need to set aside an hour because that’s how crazy life is and reining it all in takes some time. I imagine you can do it in 30 minutes if you wish too but my hope is that you will make this a ritual in your week, enjoy this time and allow yourself to embrace all the beautiful chaos of your life.

Want to get in control of your future as well? Download a FREE pdf of our Get Your Girl Back Dream Journal and start dreaming, planning and pondering what is possible for your life- http://gygb.com/download-the-first-chapter/

Please share this blog with the women you love, who are overwhelmed, a bit unorganized and who really want to change their lives. Together we can help them one day at a time.

Written by Traci Bild, Mother, wife, entrepreneur & founder of the  Get Your Girl Back Movement www.GYGB.com.

 

A Millionaire’s Confession: I Don’t Feel Worthy

I recently blogged on Savor Magazine’s site about a moment recently where I didn’t feel “worthy” enough.  Yes, it still happens.  Well all I can say is WOW! Your responses were so moving.  I’m sharing the article again here in case you didn’t read it.  One thing is very clear: the power we have to lift each other up is amazing and I’m thankful for my working mother sisterhood.

Here’s what I wrote:

In a Savor mastermind meeting today with a group of women I regularly meet with in New York City, I felt the blood drain from my head, my fingertips go numb and my eyes fill with tears. My mentor, Angela Jia Kim, had challenged me to a moment of truth and I was not ready for it.

We were discussing my brand when she said, “Your brand is about giving people hope. Throughout your life you’ve had different individuals tell you that you weren’t good enough, and as a result, you’ve worked your ass off to prove them wrong. Traci, you are still trying to prove your worth.”

Having known me for two years, it was no use to try to pretend she was wrong. Sitting in front of nine business peers, I almost collapsed on the floor in tears.

The fact is, I’m 44 years old and still holding on to the words of my ninth grade English teacher who said, “You’re just not a good writer”; the college classmate who out of nowhere said, “I don’t know why you are here. One day I’m going to be your boss”; the fellow cheerleader in high school who came over for pre-game pizza at our apartment and said, “Yuck, you have roaches in your cabinet.”

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Today, my armor of accolades offered no protection. The successful business, published books, and spoils of success were shattered by the raw truth:  I don’t feel worthy. I was busted.

Despite my discomfort, I needed this moment of vulnerability. The grown woman, Traci Bild, has spent the last 25 years trying to rescue the young girl, Traci Shafer, who was trying to prove her worth to the world.

I took a deep breath, wiped the tears from my eyes, and for the first time in my life acknowledged this truth. While difficult, it was incredibly liberating. I’ve been in prison for years and today, thanks to my mentor, I was given the keys to freedom.

It is now up to me to decide whether to stay a prisoner of these limiting thoughts, or to set myself free, and I choose freedom! Going forward, I will speak, write and work not to prove I’m good enough, but for the purpose I believe so powerfully in – to help women find THEIR all versus IT all.

Words are powerful and can impact our lives in tremendous ways. Perhaps it’s time to consider your own truth – what beliefs are you holding onto that are limiting your ability to step into your destiny? While not easy to ponder, the truth will set you free.

Homework Assignment:

Answer these questions in your journal:

1. What labels have you picked up that need to be shed?

2. Journal about this today and see where it leads you.

– See more at: http://blog.savorthesuccess.com/dream/worthy/#sthash.IEc6OWw5.dpuf

The Best Excuse to Get out of Exercise, Cooking and Sex!

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“I don’t have the time.”

For most of us women, this is one of our all-time favorite cop outs. Ask me why I don’t work out and my answer is, “I’m too busy, I simply don’t have time.” Challenge me on the importance of cooking healthy meals rather than running through a fast food restaurant after a long night at gymnastics with Paris and my answer is, “I would love to but I don’t have time.” Remind me that I have a gorgeous and loving husband who needs my attention and a sense of connection and my answer is, “I don’t have the time or energy.”

Sound familiar? The truth is women don’t have time to exercise, cook healthy meals or spend time with their partners. Between working forty hours or more outside the home, the commute to and from work, after school activities, homework, never-ending cleaning and laundry as well as the rare attempt to cram in the chapter of a book or a mindless television show to shut off the brain…finding additional time is sort of like glimpsing a double rainbow- it’s magical yet rare.

If you’re sort of sighing with relief… in knowing that you are not alone, I would like to ask you a deeper question- “Is this how you really want to live?” You know that you have to stay healthy and that means getting regular exercise and eating properly…if you are in a relationship, you’re in it probably because you love the person you are with. The result of making excuses is only going to create more deep seeded guilt and anxiety over not doing what you know you need to do! I know it’s crazy, right?  

I remember sitting in my kitchen and unbuttoning my Mrs. Me Jeans because my belly was hanging over them and it was uncomfortable. “It’s just a muffin top,” I thought- I have two kids! But then I didn’t just feel it but stood in front of a mirror and looked at it, yes my muffin top- Blueberry, peanut butter, chocolate or whatever it was…it was no longer just a muffin but a full blown entrée!  How was this possible (I wondered) – overall, I eat healthily…or was I?

That day, I did something different. I decided to stop making excuses. Instead of hiding behind the famous, “I don’t have the time,” I realized that I had to make the time. The fact is, a flat stomach wasn’t a priority to me, but good health was. It dawned on me that at 44 I was collecting an extra 5 pounds or so a year and that by the time I was 50, those Mrs. Me jeans would long be gone and on someone more fit to wear them.

It was time to own up and take stock of my life, the things that mattered most to me- my health, my family, and my sanity.  I literally removed the words, “I don’t have time” from my vocabulary. Instead I learned to say, “It’s not a priority.” At least this way I own it.

So I got serious about my health…reflecting back I now see that I was eating way too many carbs, skipping meals, living on lattes and getting exercise in every so often. Now, when I plan my weekly calendar, I make sure that fitness, meal planning, family fun and date night are all built in and color coded in my calendar. I’m treating the things I care about as the priorities they are. I feel more in control of my life because there’s no one to blame things on anymore. All I have to do is look in the mirror and take ownership.

It’s not easy being a woman in the 21st Century- in fact, it’s damn near impossible not to crawl up into fetal position and hide in a corner.  The best antidote is to fight back- with fun, adventure, laughter and a commitment to stay focused on the priorities that matter most in your life. To give the time and attention to those things- that at the end of the day, really do matter most. Then and only then will you feel less anxious, more inspired and empowered as a woman, wife, mother, daughter and friend. While only four words, “I don’t have the time”- they hold tremendous power. I challenge you to take that power back starting today by eliminating them from your vocabulary.

Written by Traci Bild Founder of the Get Your Girl Back Movement- (www.GYGB.com)

Someone Was Murdered- And I Had to Review the Evidence

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My palms were sweaty as I carefully looked over the evidence. A crime had been committed, heinous- and it was up to me to convey exactly what had happened. My heart beat faster and faster as I realized it was my turn to share what I felt had occurred that night. I looked at my kids who sat quietly beside me trembling in fear. “Okay, it was Mrs. Scarlett, with the lead pipe, in the library.” Paris looked at her evidence and discreetly showed me the lead pipe. Darn! That was not the weapon used. It was Noah’s turn…we were in a heated game of Clue.

When I was a girl, games were a favorite past time. I remember going to my cousin’s and playing them for hours on end…Life, Monopoly, and of course Clue- my favorite! We would throw on pajamas, spread the board games out on the floor, and play until the wee hours of the night. Our screams and laughter would ripple through the house as we assumed the lead or in the case of Monopoly- were sent to jail!

Clearly this is powerful memory because tears are dripping down my cheeks as I write. For a moment I’m there again- in my jammies, reliving those moments and how special they were- Time with cousins, playing games, being a girl and having fun. Yet I have to confess something really embarrassing– I’ve let years of my life go by without playing a single board game. Worse yet, I have kids!

It’s not that we don’t play games in our home but the truth is that I oftentimes just sit and watch as my husband and the kids or Uncle Adam and the kids play games. I’m too busy in the background making dinner, cleaning up the kitchen or doing laundry- so I watch from the sidelines.

In truth, on any of these occasions I could have stopped and jumped in the game. Players always call to me, “Come on Traci, sit down with us and play!” Yet each time I have every damn excuse in the world. Yet the real excuse, the one I didn’t see until recently is that I don’t know how to sit down!  I’m in constant motion, like one of those poor Polar Bears in Alaska who drowns because all the ice has melted and they can’t find a solid piece to rest on while hunting.  Like the bears, I find myself drowning- but by choice.

So as part of my Power of Play Blog Series I made a decision to play. I didn’t explain to anyone what I was doing, I just dug down inside myself and asked my girl to help me- you know, the one who laughed so hard she would pee her pants, who lived to play with her Barbies and couldn’t wait to run out the back door when at my cousins and pick juicy Concorde grapes off the vine and devour them by the dozens (I buy them every season in honor of this memory)!

The good news is I’m no longer drowning. I gave myself a lifeline- through play! It’s changed my life. Last week I wrote my blog about playing dodge ball and if you didn’t read it, you have to now, it’s so fun! I’ve realized that no one can save me but me! Multi-tasking all day, every day and dropping into bed exhausted each night is not how I want to live my life. At the age of 44 my life is half over (quality) and I’m determined to squeeze every ounce of juice out of it that I can.

So here I am- each day I wake up and rather than grab my phone and check email (while anxiety starts to set in), I think, “What fun is on the agenda today?” Yes I still have two companies to run, a household to maintain and kids to care for (and an amazing husband to spend time with) but I’ve re-prioritized my life, put things in perspective and am giving myself permission to play!

I know it may sound crazy and seem impossible to even consider how you can do this in your life, but you can! Here are simple ideas to get you started- when you make breakfast consider making a pot of tea and having a tea party with your kids or OMG by yourself! Yes, you will feel so proper and British…and remember doing this as a girl! Before going to bed at night step outside, lay a blanket on the ground and just look up at the stars.  As you lay there you will drift into a place of wonder, perhaps see a shooting star to wish upon and begin to ask yourself those age old questions…”Is there anyone else out there?” And let yourself ask these questions! Were you so political when you were a girl?

Okay so you get the point. Play. Play. Play. Play! Take each ordinary day and start to make it extraordinary. With each passing day you will get more creative, find more possibility and joy in things you can do to enlighten your life and the lives of those around you. So, here is my wish for you this week. Get your favorite board games out and play them! If you have kids they will be so excited and if you have girlfriends they will be all over it because it’s been far too long for them as well (you will be a hero). In fact, why not have a slumber party? It’s time to stop thinking so much and just do it- have fun!

I love, love, love to hear from you so please post here on my blog (below the post) what your favorite game was when you were a girl or your experiences as you pull that game out again and relive those childhood moments. If you never did play games in your home then it’s time to try something new! Give yourself the gift of a new game. Keep the game out on your kitchen table or in the open where you see it daily- this will encourage you to play more often.  As you play, you will become childlike again and the thoughts of bills, work and that never ending to do list will subside as you experience true joy, connection and laughter with the people across the board.

Written by Traci Bild Founder of the Get Your Girl Back Movement- Putting the Power of Play Back in the Gam ( www.GYGB.com)

3 New Habits to Reduce Stress and Anxiety and Make Room for Your Girl!

I was born in June and my zodiac sign is Cancer- or the crab. It’s said that when a crab feels overwhelmed she will crawl back into her shell, nest, and isolate herself from the world to find comfort. While I don’t understand our birth signs, I do know this description is spot on for me.

It seems no matter how hard I try to pace myself and live in the moment, it’s a daily battle to keep my girl front and center and in charge. I long for the days when we would drive to work or school listening to the radio, singing at the top of our lungs rather than talking on our cell phones and checking messages at every stop light. I miss having neighbors who liked to chat, pull their lawn chairs up and simply talk. I miss the sounds of children playing games outside in the front yard…now replaced by scheduled sporting events, video games and endless homework.  While I love the convenience of modern life, at times I feel it’s stolen the good life.

One of the greatest challenges you will face on your journey to get your girl back, is slowing down. It almost seems counter intuitive. How do you slow down in a world that is moving faster and faster every day? Just yesterday I was reading through PR opportunities and one of them was on sleep. They were looking for an expert who could talk about life without sleep and why it’s such a waste of time and if it were possible, to engineer ourselves to not need sleep! Can you believe that? I want to cry just thinking about it (yes, you can rant here on the comment section of my blog too). While some do consider it a waste of time, it terrifies me to think what would happen to my spirit and sanity if I didn’t sleep? It’s the only time my brain gets a break.

So how do you slow down? Where do you find the time to work ON your life versus constantly living IN it? Here are three strategies- give one or more a try and I promise you will get a little bit closer to finding your girl and entering a new state of living: New Habits to Start Working on Today!

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  1. Put it Away:  I dare you to just try to put your cell phone away or out of reach for blocked periods of time throughout the day. First of all, charge your phone AWAY from your bed, perhaps in the bathroom when you go to sleep.  Put it on do not disturb and resist all temptation to check messages, text or social updates after a set hour. For me its 8 pm. Give yourself the gift of unplugging. Most of us aren’t doctors and no one is going to die if we don’t immediately respond. If that’s the case for you then set up rules that work for your situation. This one step will immediately improve your sleep, anxiety, and stress levels. It won’t be easy so be prepared. However, once you learn this new habit, of exercising cell phone self-control, you will feel empowered to develop other new habits to fuel happiness in your life. Other no-phone times to consider are dinnertime and morning (keep reading).
  2. Keep it Away: Oh, I know this is so hard but consider how good it would feel to leave your cell phone in its place until after breakfast? Imagine waking up, getting ready listening to music or the news, making breakfast, talking to your family, and starting your day peacefully rather than in an instant panic over what you have to do (flooded in box, numerous texts, etc.).
  3. Stop Multi-tasking: Okay, this goes against everything we do as women but I promise, it will change your life. If you have noticed, men do one thing at a time and do it well. Women? We can literally do up to five things at once. While we may do it well, the fact is we do everything on autopilot and at the end of the day don’t even recall what we did. In short, we are missing our very lives! Just try to do one thing at a time and allow yourself to slow down, breathe, and pace yourself in a moderate manner. I know, crazy right? There is something incredibly freeing about allowing yourself to do one thing at a time.

 

Okay, so I’ve mastered the power of my mind, I know how to change my mental state quickly and can recognize when I’m in a funk. Even with this experience, I still struggle to maintain control over my emotions and thought process- the very things that create stress and anxiety for most of us! For some reason, the brain finds it so much easier to think negatively, worry, fret and ponder everything that can possibly go wrong. Because I’ve trained my brain I enter these states less often than most people. You can say that I’m aware of what’s going on up there and trust me, it helps tremendously. So- as you begin to implement these habits I’ve shared with you, you too will be further training your brain to do what you want it to do versus what it wants to do.

You can slow down, savor the moment and be more present in your life. To make it happen you must decide it’s something you want to do and then step by step begin to take action on those things that steal your joy and in turn your girl. So stop right now and consider the small steps you can take to make big gains in your life. I would love to hear from you as well so please, share what you do to reduce stress and anxiety here on my blog or on our Facebook page at the Get Your Girl Back movement.

If you’d like to get the daily blog post by email, sign up at http://bit.ly/1j2ol3s.  If you’re reading this post through the daily email and want to become an Ambassador for Get Your Girl Back, where I’ll ask for help from you from time to time, email me at Traci@GYGB.com and I’ll share what we are up to.  Join our 10 Week Life Class Series starting Friday February 14th from 12-12:30 pm ET! Register at www.GYGB.com.

 

Written by Traci Bild, Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement

Grandmother, Mother, and Daughter, the Generational Shift That Stole Your Girl

TODAY’S FOCUS IS: MANAGE

3 generations of women

When you were in fourth grade, that special year that research shows girls have the most self-confidence, what did you think you would do when you grew up? Come on; think back, do you remember? My daughter Paris is in fifth grade and her thoughts might spark memories. Here are a few of her possibilities; “I want to be a mom, take over mommies companies Get Your Girl Back and Bild & Company, be a school teacher, or maybe a gymnastics teacher…” anything ring a bell? If not, ask your daughter or niece this very important question, “What do you think you will do when you grow up?”

Two Full Time Jobs

I imagine that the answer, “I will work two full time jobs” never got onto that list and the very thought of your daughter or niece doing that terrifies you. Yet the fact is, that is what most women are doing. They start at the crack of dawn, getting kids ready for school, only to head off to a day job that ends at 4 or 5, then head back home for the most important job of all, parenting and wife- the managing of a beautiful family to include cooking, cleaning, tutoring, carpooling, sporting events, laundry, grocery shopping, and more. Normally that job ends around 9 pm when everyone is safely tucked into bed and the last dishes are put away, loose shoes put in the shoe basket, and back packs set by the door. While you may love your life and wouldn’t trade it for anything, the question to ask is “How do you manage it all without losing track of yourself?”

The Generational Divide

Odds are your grandmother didn’t work and if she did boy was she a trailblazer! In most cases, her full time job was the raising of her family and managing of her home. Her daughter, quite possibly your mother, was raised to be like her mom, to be a homemaker. Yet something happened- people started to get divorced and if your mom is anything like mine, these women were unprepared. With little job training or college behind them, they were forced to enter the workforce, work two to three jobs to survive, and in many cases, even marry- not for love but to put a roof over their children’s heads. Life for many of our mothers was not was they expected.

Then there are the women of my generation, those who watched from the side as our mothers struggled to survive, find work, and make a place for themselves in the world.  We became determined- we would not rely on anyone to take care of us, we would work, and provide for ourselves. So off to college we went! Fast forward to today- Women are unprepared- and rightly so! In the span of three generations, women went from one job to two; yet extra hours were not added to the day, we simply have had to learn how to manage it all and the one thing that regularly falls off the list is YOU.

As women who both work at home and outside the home, putting in sixteen hour days, it’s more important than ever to focus on systems that will help you better manage your life.  This is what Get Your Girl Back is all about. Reading these daily blogs will serve as a guide to help you on this wonderful journey called life! My goal today is to help you understand why at times, you might feel like you are going to go crazy and to know that you are not alone. My mom recently got me a sign that reads, “Some call it chaos, we call it family.” I love this sign and so enjoy the chaos- yet in that chaos is order, fun, adventure, and pure bliss. I want to help you learn how to keep all the good, yummy parts of your life and repair those that are broken and not-so good right now. Odds are there is more good than bad so with a little focus you can reignite your passion and create a life by design, not circumstance.

So ponder today’s message, take it in. Then, commit to learn, grow and implement new ideas into your life and if you have a daughter, teach her what you learn so she understands how to keep her girl, front and center- then there will never be a need to get her back!

Written by Traci Bild, Founder of the Get Your Girl Back movement

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