It doesn’t matter what kind of mood I’m in, good, bad, or downright ugly, if I hear a particular song, like Low by T-Pain I want to jump up and dance, if I hear Sweet Child of Mine by Guns’ N Roses I’m instantly transported back to my old high school days of first love, Friday night football games, and cruising. Something like Baby Mine by Bette Midler from the movie Beaches makes me think of my mom and her unwavering love for me as her little girl. One can bring ultimate joy and elation, one a rush of memories, and one tears of gratitude and reality as I realize that I am no longer a little girl but instead a woman of 42 with a little girl of my own.
If we were cruising together, windows down, wind blowing through our hair, music blasting, and had no agenda other than just cruising, it would equate and exceed any fix that a latte, anxiety pill, therapy session, or spa day could. I’m certain it would be enough mental fuel to restore us for at least a day. We would exit the car reminded of how good life is, feel gratitude for those we love, and empowerment from the sheer exhilaration of the music in our soul. Your playlist or mine, the songs played like memories torn from the scrapbook of our lives.
Over the years I’ve learned to use music as a mental game changer. While it would be fun to go cruising with you, my “cruising” typically is with my kids as we head to school in the morning, to gymnastics, or to the grocery store. I’ve learned to turn these mundane trips that at times can be long and filled with traffic, into mini-disco parties filled with singing, dancing, and crazy car shaking moments. The best part is I’ve learned to like and even love some of my kid’s music and them mine. My son Noah’s favorite song is Michael Jackson’s Billie Jean and I’ve actually come to love Paris’s favorite, Part of Me by Katy Perry!
Girlfriend, our minds are complex and if we are not careful and guarded over what’s going on up there, the mind can create mental chaos. We must learn to lighten up and have more fun. I have studied the mind for years and done many experiments that have taught me a lot about the power of the brain. In my quest to get my girl back I began to use music as a trigger to immediately change my mental state.
As women, we have a lot on our plates and for many it’s much more than they can handle. As a result, we become consumed by our minds and it’s as if there is a whole conversation going on up there and you can’t do anything about it. The worst culprit is guilt. You’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Spend time with your kids and you feel guilty for not working. Spend time working and you feel guilty for not being with your kids. Work through the day; spend the evening with your kids, and come bedtime you sit down to realize you have not had a single conversation with your husband. Oh and guilt, it’s right there, pointing it’s finger square at your heart, trying to literally rip it out in an attempt to convince you that you are not a good mom or wife. No matter what you do at times it seems you can’t win.
The next time this happens, I want you to pull a different trigger to change your thought pattern and in turn your mood. Whether the emotion is guilt, fear, sorrow, or anxiety, interrupt the pattern with your favorite song, turn it up loud and just take it in. I don’t care if it’s eight in the morning or eleven at night; just do it! Music is one of the most power triggers I have found and it has the ability to change your mental state in a single moment. Getting your girl back takes time and it a journey that requires you to get in control of your thoughts and emotions. I will share many different strategies as we work together that will help you to gain more and more control over time and promise, we will have fun doing it.
For now, give it a try. Stop what you are doing, put your headphones on, pick your favorite song, turn up the volume, dance, sing, and just let the music take control. Don’t worry about what you have to do, what you should’ve done, or could do if you had more time. In this moment, just hit play and escape.
Want more inspiration? Download the first chapter of my forthcoming book, Get Your Girl Back, my gift to you- http://gygb.com/gygb-chapter-one/
Written by Traci Bild, Founder of the Get Your Girl Back Movement www.gygb.com