I mean, I was still breathing and moving around. But everything that meant anything to me before she was born was now over. My life from now on would be all about catering to “the baby.”
Even though I understood I was going through a postpartum crash, I knew with absolute certainty that this was true – I had just lost ME. “I” was over. All the things that I loved to do, all the ways that I wanted to be, all of that had died. I was now… a mom.
I went through all the motions. I did everything that moms are supposed to do, but it all felt like an act. I was now living someone else’s life. I had lost my Girl.
Yet some little glimmer of her remained in my soul, and she kept poking me. Okay, she actually kept screaming at me. Every day I would hear my Girl yell: Do you really have to leave me behind? Take me back! You can do it!
I look back now and realize that I was on a mission. I was on a mission to prove that I could keep the ME I wanted to be, while at the same time, be a great mom. Everywhere around me there were messages that said it couldn’t be done:
Having a baby changes EVERYTHING.
You can’t do the things you used to be able to do.
It’s no longer about YOU.
Why is it no longer about me? I want my life to be about me! Not in a selfish, “it’s ALL about me and just me” kind of way. But why can’t I live my life the way I want to live it? I needed to prove that I could.
My answer lay in running my own business.
My business is my mission. My mission to prove that I can live the life I want. My mission to continue to prove that I can do what I want, act how I want, be who I want.
Sound selfish? Perhaps it is. But part of what I want is to be a good mom and raise a happy, healthy, generous, sweet daughter. Part of what I want is to show other moms that they can be who they want to be.
So now I get to have it all! I am personally fulfilled, running a business that helps other entrepreneurs gain more freedom in their lives. I built my business on a freedom-based model that allows me the flexibility to take care of any family or personal needs that come up – without sacrificing my clients’ needs or my profits.
I proved that you don’t have to lose your Girl when you become a mom. I am living life by my OWN design. And my Girl is so happy to be back!
Social media guru, online visibility expert, and founder of the Laptop Mom® Movement, NIKA STEWART is a lifestyle entrepreneur: A professional who has seamlessly integrated her career into her life.
Nika currently serves as CEO for GhostTweeting.com, a firm that manages the social media presence for a diverse clientele including best-selling authors, television hosts, international speakers, and renowned entrepreneurs.
To share your story about how you lost or found your girl, submit your blog to firstname.lastname@example.org today!