A Millionaire’s Confession: I Don’t Feel Worthy

I recently blogged on Savor Magazine’s site about a moment recently where I didn’t feel “worthy” enough.  Yes, it still happens.  Well all I can say is WOW! Your responses were so moving.  I’m sharing the article again here in case you didn’t read it.  One thing is very clear: the power we have to lift each other up is amazing and I’m thankful for my working mother sisterhood.

Here’s what I wrote:

In a Savor mastermind meeting today with a group of women I regularly meet with in New York City, I felt the blood drain from my head, my fingertips go numb and my eyes fill with tears. My mentor, Angela Jia Kim, had challenged me to a moment of truth and I was not ready for it.

We were discussing my brand when she said, “Your brand is about giving people hope. Throughout your life you’ve had different individuals tell you that you weren’t good enough, and as a result, you’ve worked your ass off to prove them wrong. Traci, you are still trying to prove your worth.”

Having known me for two years, it was no use to try to pretend she was wrong. Sitting in front of nine business peers, I almost collapsed on the floor in tears.

The fact is, I’m 44 years old and still holding on to the words of my ninth grade English teacher who said, “You’re just not a good writer”; the college classmate who out of nowhere said, “I don’t know why you are here. One day I’m going to be your boss”; the fellow cheerleader in high school who came over for pre-game pizza at our apartment and said, “Yuck, you have roaches in your cabinet.”

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Today, my armor of accolades offered no protection. The successful business, published books, and spoils of success were shattered by the raw truth:  I don’t feel worthy. I was busted.

Despite my discomfort, I needed this moment of vulnerability. The grown woman, Traci Bild, has spent the last 25 years trying to rescue the young girl, Traci Shafer, who was trying to prove her worth to the world.

I took a deep breath, wiped the tears from my eyes, and for the first time in my life acknowledged this truth. While difficult, it was incredibly liberating. I’ve been in prison for years and today, thanks to my mentor, I was given the keys to freedom.

It is now up to me to decide whether to stay a prisoner of these limiting thoughts, or to set myself free, and I choose freedom! Going forward, I will speak, write and work not to prove I’m good enough, but for the purpose I believe so powerfully in – to help women find THEIR all versus IT all.

Words are powerful and can impact our lives in tremendous ways. Perhaps it’s time to consider your own truth – what beliefs are you holding onto that are limiting your ability to step into your destiny? While not easy to ponder, the truth will set you free.

Homework Assignment:

Answer these questions in your journal:

1. What labels have you picked up that need to be shed?

2. Journal about this today and see where it leads you.

- See more at: http://blog.savorthesuccess.com/dream/worthy/#sthash.IEc6OWw5.dpuf

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